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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Cameron Diaz “has third child” aged 53

138 replies

Namingbaba · 06/05/2026 17:00

It worries me that some people just read headlines like this and think all these women have children naturally. At least that’s the impression I got from reading the comments on this story. The surrogacy sometimes isn’t even mentioned.

OP posts:
Shallotsaresmallonions · 08/05/2026 07:01

Neurodiversitydoctor · 08/05/2026 06:45

I wouldn't have phrased it like that but I do find the use of surrogacy by rich gay men hugely distasteful see Adam Kay, Elton John etc.

Me too. There is a gay Instagram influencer couple, who wanted "twins" and went to Mexico to have two surrogates impregnated at the same time. Just so wrong.

loislovesstewie · 08/05/2026 07:03

TempestTost · 08/05/2026 03:07

That seems so strange.

It's not like that means the person is related to you.

An adult, even one half your age, is a person in themselves with a personality, interests, values, hobbies, just like any other person who is an adult.

Why wouldn't you be friends with them, or attracted to them, if you have things in common? It seems so arbitrary.

Because men who do it are called perverted, or sugar daddies. There is often a yuk response to it. When I was young it was called cradle snatching. But if a woman does it there is much less criticism. As I said earlier, the fact that we have women in their 50s having children because they are with younger partners indicates that they are at different stages of their lives. Having to go to extreme lengths to provide that child, to me, only proves it to be the case.

RedToothBrush · 08/05/2026 07:47

Reportingfromwherever · 07/05/2026 09:10

The child could be her biologically as she could have frozen her eggs years ago. Many do in that environment.
I don’t agree with surrogacy either way but the child could be both of theirs biologically.

Can Dr Robert Winston please come to the thread and repeat the data on the success rates of egg freezing? Keeping in mind that Diaz did not carry the baby herself and success rates are lower when you are not using your own egg.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-51463488

We should not only consider the woman exploited to carry her baby, we should also consider how many attempts it took to get a baby to term. If she was using her own frozen eggs (rather than frozen embryos) the chances of success are significantly lower - this makes it ethically potentially actually worst given her age - because it's likely to have taken more attempts and therefore strain on various other women's bodies who don't end up with a baby to show for it.

There seems to be this idea that it's somehow better if a prospective parent uses their own eggs in a surrogacy. This isn't true because it carries more risk to the mother to use any eggs that are not her own and it obviously involves more invasive procedures.

We should not be promoting these fuzzy rose tinted concepts of where there is somehow a 'more deserving' surrogacy. All people who use surrogates, however nice they may otherwise be, abandon moral consideration and ethics and thought for anyone but themselves when they engage in human trafficking, exploit another vulnerable woman and buy a baby.

sperm and egg

Egg-freezing: What's the success rate?

The fertility expert Lord Winston warns the success rate could be as low as 1% but others say it is considerably higher.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-51463488

Womenz · 08/05/2026 09:43

I don’t agree with surrogacy but I am interested in this unexpected surge of gay men wanting babies. This was not a thing in previous generations. Is it a lifestyle affectation?

sittingonabeach · 08/05/2026 09:50

@Womenz options were probably limited, adoption only for M/F couples, surrogacy not a thing

Catcentral · 08/05/2026 13:06

Womenz · 08/05/2026 09:43

I don’t agree with surrogacy but I am interested in this unexpected surge of gay men wanting babies. This was not a thing in previous generations. Is it a lifestyle affectation?

Why is it an 'affectation' for a man to want a child?

ktopfwcv · 08/05/2026 13:45

TiredOldHen · 06/05/2026 20:56

Not sure why you would think that. After a few years of trying (naturally not medically) My sister in law had a daughter at 52. My niece seems to be very happy and is doted on by her mum, her two brothers who were 29 and 30, when their sister was born and her father, who is 17 years younger than mum.

There are lots of ways to be a happy family.

So her husband is 5 years older than her son?

LondonTipton99 · 08/05/2026 13:55

Luddite26 · 07/05/2026 14:59

In my heart I agree with this as I grew up without a father. Gives you issues.
But on the same level in my experience a shit parent does more damage than an absent one.
Two of my grandchildren have a father who thought it was ok to smash their Xmas tree up and their mum and then demand he sees them while not providing for them. He's damaging them which is really sad.

Going now to read some Phillip Larkin.

@Luddite26 we are not talking about absent parents. OF COURSE there are going to be dads, and mums (!!!) who are awful, in which case said child would probably be better off without them.

We are talking about PURPOSEFULLY bringing a child into the world where they have zero chance of a relationship with a father, whether they are good or bad, who knows, because all he did was donate sperm, and so that's that. Even worse is when the father is a complete unknown and said child will NEVER have the chance to find out half of their genetic make up. Can you imagine how that feels?

You can't predict how people might turn out to be as a parent. But from conception, wiping out one parent, is not a good parenting choice in my book. I think it's incredibly selfish. The child WILL have issues, and you are doing it knowing that.

loislovesstewie · 08/05/2026 13:59

ktopfwcv · 08/05/2026 13:45

So her husband is 5 years older than her son?

Apparently! 🙄

Luddite26 · 08/05/2026 14:25

Er yes @LondonTipton99 I do know how it feels to not know your genetic makeup I met my shit absent sperm donor father when I was 28. So half my life without knowing it and a meeting doesn't actually get you to 'know' it.

SapphireSeptember · 09/05/2026 10:51

aster10 · 07/05/2026 09:12

Well, it’s an interesting one. Can we treat infertility or do we accept that this is how life panned out. If we compare it to cancer, can we treat cancer or do we accept that this is how life panned out? We can argue - it’s different because you can die from cancer. Alright, can we “treat” unemployment (by looking for a new job), or do we accept that this is how life panned out? With infertility, the morals are not settled and developments are happening before our eyes and we’re trying to find an ethical line. IVF and egg/sperm donation used to be suspicious and the work of the devil and now we got used to it. Surrogacy is now suspicious. There is a good argument for me that it’s not all black and white, not all buying human beings, the work of the devil, handmaid’s tale, exploitation, like it’s not all exploitation with organ donation, for example. There will be arguments to the contrary of course. I think the society is leaning towards the acceptance of surrogacy.

We banned slavery (the buying of human beings) because it was an abhorrent practice. Some people at the time didn't see anything wrong with it.

When rich women start being surrogates for poor women with no financial recompense, I might change my mind and not think it's exploitive, but it's still not in the best interests of newborns to be taken away from their mothers unless there's a very good reason.

LondonTipton99 · 09/05/2026 12:49

Luddite26 · 08/05/2026 14:25

Er yes @LondonTipton99 I do know how it feels to not know your genetic makeup I met my shit absent sperm donor father when I was 28. So half my life without knowing it and a meeting doesn't actually get you to 'know' it.

I didn't say it did. I'm not sure of your point sorry. We might even be on the same page...

Funtime2 · 09/05/2026 13:44

MandyMotherOfBrian · 06/05/2026 17:55

47 year old man, and his 53 year old wife, buy a baby.
There, fixed it for you.
Or is it only women that should be held responsible?

Edited

Why man and his wife (belonging to)? You meant 47 year old and man and 53 year old woman I think

Runs off totally missing the point

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