I’m sorry you’ve had such an awful time, and I’m genuinely happy that you have your beautiful children.
But that aside, I think you’re making false equivalencies.
Surrogacy doesn’t centre the needs of the baby. It’s about prioritising the wants of would-be parents and to hell with any distress it causes the baby being taken from the only mother that it knows.
And because of the issues surrounding societal conditioning and coercion, consent isn’t being freely given in the vast, vast majority of cases. Women’s worth is so often judged by what we can do for others, by how kind we are, and by how much we’re willing to sacrifice to make other people happy. Women are subject to enormous subconscious pressure, even when it potentially compromises their own well-being, or even their life.
I’m not trying to be unkind, and I appreciate that things have turned out well for you, which is wonderful. But allowing women to rent out their womb, putting themselves at great risk, and altering their bodies irrevocably- because every pregnancy takes its toll - and of course, putting themselves baby at risk of traumatic separation, I’m never going to be on board with that.