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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Advice on speaking to MP about sex and gender policy

136 replies

Tempanonymouse · 01/04/2026 18:06

Hello all
Longtime lurker
Am going to speak to my MP about this whole issue.
Not public IRL about this at all (job and personal cowardice reasons).
I'm so angry that something so absurd has become the required public belief. My MP is female labour not said anything public that I can find.
I don't want to sound mad and I want to have my facts at my fingertips. Any advice on best approaches? Part of me wants to make a list of the most unreasonable things eg Isla Bryson , Lia Thomas and work back logically but I think this might be too confrontational? Has anyone had good effects? At this point I am so furious I think I will come across badly. Also any advice on specific asks?
I actually want a wideranging apology from the government and an enquiry into the institutional failure that allowed it as well as all the obvious stuff. But recognise I may have radicalised myself ..
Thanks in advance

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17
Helleofabore · 04/04/2026 09:45

It is a falsehood to claim that people with transgender identities want 'equal rights'. They already have the same rights that everyone else has.

Of course, many of us already know this. But for anyone who doesn't understand what is falsely being demanded with that phrase 'equal rights', the falsehood is that they demand additional rights and privileges over every other person in the population of the country that they live. The way it works is that if they are a male person **, they already have those rights that male people have. When a male person with a transgender identity demands access to female single sex provisions, that is in addition to the provisions they already have access to as a male person.

All male people in UK : For fair competition, male people have access to sport in a male event or mixed sex event.

All female people in UK : For fair competition, female people have access to sport in a female event or mixed sex event.

All male people with transgender identities: have access to all male sport events which some of them reject and instead demand into female sport events. This means that this group of male people will have access to ALL sports events that are open to able bodied athletes within a certain age/skill category.

This is the same for other provisions as well.

There should be no expectation of rights for a sub-group of male people to access the rights of female people just because they reject the rights available to them as male people. They have not changed sex category and if the rights are sex based, they are sex based for a reason and that reason does not change because they believe in a personal and subjective reality that is not reflective of material reality.

Male people who demand their subjective reality is treated as if it is materially reality will indeed always be excluded, because material reality abides regardless of one person, or a group, believing that a subjective reality is universal. Nothing will change the material real facts that male people are not female people. It matters nothing to material reality how distressing this is to anyone.

No one has the right to demand that everyone else in the population treat them as if their subjective reality is materially real. That is also not respectful to demand that everyone treat that subjective reality as if it is everyone's proven and established material reality.

( ** defined as being a human who has a body formed around the production of small gametes, regardless of whether their body does, has or will ever produce those small gametes.)

Helleofabore · 04/04/2026 09:50

FlirtsWithRhinos · 04/04/2026 09:36

doesn't understand boundaries and why female people have them

Or understands but simply doesn't care, because boring old female people come last on the list of whose needs matter.

Yes. For some male people converting non-compliant female people into compliance in any way available to them is part of the attraction. Righteousness seems, for some people, to be the key to getting away with misogynistic behaviour.

Once women recognise the DARVO, it makes it very clear how these male people engage.

Waitwhat23 · 04/04/2026 10:09

Helleofabore · 04/04/2026 08:28

"...And let's send a clear message to the world: fuck bigots and especially nazirowling with a splintery rolling pin."

What a surprise. AidaP on a day meant to being visibility to the men who demand to be treated as if they are female people.

Operation: Let them speak!

Aida's now having a footstamping tantrum on Bluesky/Twitter that he's being called out for his threat to sexually assault women who disagree with him.

I did wonder why he's not been back to this thread!

Helleofabore · 04/04/2026 10:13

Waitwhat23 · 04/04/2026 10:09

Aida's now having a footstamping tantrum on Bluesky/Twitter that he's being called out for his threat to sexually assault women who disagree with him.

I did wonder why he's not been back to this thread!

I think Aida has done wonders for the visibility for male transgender people. I think Aida should be very pleased with the visibility gained with such posts.

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 04/04/2026 13:24

Man: please meet me for coffee, under my specific conditions.
Woman: no, and here are my reasons.
Man: I don't accept your reasons.

Thus demonstrating that the Man, who wants the Woman (and everyone else) to believe he is actually a woman, is 100% male.

Mmmnotsure · 04/04/2026 13:34

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 04/04/2026 13:24

Man: please meet me for coffee, under my specific conditions.
Woman: no, and here are my reasons.
Man: I don't accept your reasons.

Thus demonstrating that the Man, who wants the Woman (and everyone else) to believe he is actually a woman, is 100% male.

Even worse.

Man - who has posted openly on the internet -

"...And let's send a clear message to the world: fuck bigots and especially nazirowling with a splintery rolling pin."

Please meet me for coffee.

soupycustard · 04/04/2026 13:43

So Aida is encouraging people to 'fuck bigots ...with a splintery rolling pin'?
I'm quite absolutist when it comes to free speech, but that's quite near the very edge of 'acceptable' isn't it.
Can you imagine the outcry - and complaints to the police - if the word 'bigot' were replaced with 'TRA'?! Not that I would ever do that, because I'm not an aggressive male.

bigboykitty · 04/04/2026 13:54

AidaP · 03/04/2026 18:30

Politeness does not change the substance here.

You say you do not hate trans people, but you are also saying there is nothing I could say, no reality you could encounter, and no ordinary human contact that would make any difference to your view that I am not who I say I am. That is not open-mindedness. It is dehumanisation in a more careful tone.

This is how prejudice often protects itself: by keeping its target abstract. It is much easier to hold fixed beliefs about what a whole class of people “really are” when you refuse the kind of ordinary human contact that might trouble those beliefs.

That is a pattern racism knows very well: “I don’t hate them, I just know what they are.” The language changes, the self-image stays flattering, and the refusal to let actual human contact complicate the belief does the rest.

We have a long history of people changing their minds only when they stop seeing others as “them” and start seeing them as human beings. It is much easier to hate an abstraction than a person. Much easier still when that abstraction has been shaped for you by media and places like Mumsnet.

You were free to decline. But refusing even the possibility that reality might trouble your certainty is not caution. It is prejudice insulating itself.

You are willing to discuss this with other cis people, and so is your MP, but not with an actual trans person whose life is shaped by it. That tells its own story.

Whether you like the label or not, that is not compassion. It is fear and hostility dressed up as concern, with the affected people kept safely out of view.

All the tropes...

FlirtsWithRhinos · 04/04/2026 15:23

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 04/04/2026 13:24

Man: please meet me for coffee, under my specific conditions.
Woman: no, and here are my reasons.
Man: I don't accept your reasons.

Thus demonstrating that the Man, who wants the Woman (and everyone else) to believe he is actually a woman, is 100% male.

💯

Business as usual for patriarchy.

The female perspective is limited, naive.

The male perspective is expansive, objective.

IdaGlossop · 04/04/2026 15:27

bigboykitty · 04/04/2026 13:54

All the tropes...

Here's one I particularly object to: 'other cis people'. 'Cis' is not needed.

UtopiaPlanitia · 06/04/2026 15:39

Waitwhat23 · 02/04/2026 21:51

I can't be the only one with the Psycho theme tune running through their head at the 'meet some creepy rando off the internet who has been very vocal about how much he hates women' suggestion?

Eeeeee, eeeee, eeeee, eeeeee!

Definitely!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5511121-glp-are-going-after-sarah-phillimore-and-are-going-to-lose-part-two?reply=151482533

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