School Registration Form - pushing gender identity

[BreatheAndFocus]

DC has been accepted at a secondary school and I’m filling out the registration form (name, address, etc etc). What has pissed me off massively though is the questions about gender identity. They’re asked in such a way to imply that everyone has a gender identity, and there’s no way to say DC hasn’t, or to omit the question (because it’s online and you have to answer all questions).

The choices are: Male, Female, Self-Describe. That’s it. No way to say you don’t have one and don’t believe in this crap stuff.

Surely this isn’t neutral? It’s pushing a belief. Is this allowed?

(Note - ticking Self Describe didn’t bring up a box I could type None in, it just stayed a tick. My concern with that is that activist teachers will be rushing up to DC and asking whether they’re enby, Otherkin, etc etc.)

But we cannot choose our sex
it is determined at conception and is fixed till death

Anything that mentions choice is part of the Gender religion

I dont believe that his isnt a regular topic you lecture your kids about at home. Sorry. Just from your attitude in here, you wouldnt be able to not go on about it. I just dont think that is healthy for children.

I live in the capital. We probably pass trans people every day in the streets. Not on my kids radar. Why? Because i haven't made it a topic we discuss. They know they are girls or boys and just get on with life.

This total obsession with this topic is damaging your children. Just like it would if you were pro trans.

As I said, look at the demographics trans kids come from and ask yourself why those groups? Why not these other groups? Why is it us?

I wonder if the form is one the school has produced themselves? It reads as though someone who knows very little about trans identities has added this item with the intent to collect gender identity data, but failing miserably.

TRAs would likely find the form transphobic because it ‘upholds the gender binary’, ignores non binary identities and positions self identification as separate to ‘male’ or ‘female’. TRAs argue that the categories male and females can be identified in to.

This points to a school that hasn’t been influenced by TRAs.

@GlovedhandsCecilia

look at the demographics trans kids come from and ask yourself why those groups? Why not these other groups? Why is it us?

You’ve said this a few times.

Which demographics do you mean? Who is “us”? What’s your theory for why it’s coming from “our” groups and not others?

I live in a city too. My first discussion about gender identity with my children happened when my son was turning 3 and he asked me why ‘that man was wearing a dress’. I responded by asking him why he isn’t asking why the lady nearer to us was wearing a dress. The outcome of this first discussion was recognition that the are lots of reasons why people chose to wear what they wear (comfort, aesthetics etc) and that some people think there are clothes that are only for men or only for women and others who think clothes should be worn by anyone who wants to wear them.

My children are adults now, but our conversations progressed in complexity (across all topics including gender identity) as they got older - as and when topics arose naturally. I can imagine that I would have discussed this form with them. We would have discussed why there were two different items using the values ‘male’ and ‘female’ and whether the meaning of ‘male’ or ‘female’ could mean the same thing in the different items. We would have discussed a range of perspectives - at a developmentally matched level, with the level of detail / duration matching their interest and engagement.

My children have excellent reasoning and critical thinking skills. They are compassionate, thoughtful and balanced. I am pretty sure discussing issues such as this as and when they arose played a part in this. They can engage with discussions presented from the TRA and GC side without getting emotionally hijacked.

I think letting kids be kids and engaging them in discussions about forms like this are not mutually exclusive.

🤣

Wrong. I talk about gender identity here (this forum) and that’s pretty much the limit. I don’t talk to my children about it and would have been happy if they’d never come across the topic. However, their school introduced it and they came across older children who were non-binary. So, they know what trans is and they know what gender identities - but not from me.

When my DC went to answer the question on the form, they knew what it was asking, and were able to answer. They were as annoyed as me that I couldn’t put their answer in and said it was “stupid”. They also pointed out that “non-binary” was missing.

There used to be an acronym DNFTT. I think we may have reached the point at which it has to be used.

(Actually it isn't an acronym but I can't remember what it ought to be called and I'm sure everyone will understand what I mean anyway.)