Is it ok for my mum to join the WI?

[WallaceinAnderland]

This is from a thread on Reddit. The poster wants to know whether the WI is transphobic or whether it's ok to allow their mother to join.

All said without any idea of how chilling this is.

My mum went to her first meeting last night and I asked what made her join and she just said it just seemed interesting (I think she wants to get out more since she's recently retired.)

Then she asked me, "they're not anti-trans, are they?" implying that she has heard about the discourse but wasn't too sure about it. What I understand from it is that they aren't exactly anti-trans but felt pressured to do what they did?

Anyway, if it's a red flag for her to join it then I'd like to be able to educate her about it, because she is an ally at the end of the day and wouldn't want to do anything to hurt me/other trans people. But if it's not actually a big deal then I'd like her to feel free to do whatever she wants with her time, yknow?

I'm sure he'd like to be able to 'educate' his poor mother on what she can and can't do. I mean why on Earth should she be free to do whatever she wants with her time.

How patronising to think you should educate your mother

it’s the WI ! its fun and friendship she’s not joining the hitler youth ffs

im sure I don’t agree with all the policies and procedures of all groups I have ever had fun at . as a member does she get to influence policy?

Somebody mentioned this on the WI thread yesterday and noted the use of the word "scab". Nasty.
It's so beyond ignorant and self-centred.

The poster himself doesn't even know the righthink on this and is having to ask others whether his mother needs to be educated or granted permission.

I like her to feel free to do whatever she likes?? why would he think he should tell her what she’s allowed to do!

Whatever he identifies as that is a male seeking to dominate his mother's life.

Extremely narcissistic too to assume that he gets the right to educate her on what she is or isn't allow to do or associate with.

The fact he thinks it's any of his business how his mother spends her leisure time is enough to tell me what sort of misogynistic bloke he is.

"I'm a narcissistic man and I coercively control my mother. She wants to join a social group. Does this group adequately pander to our demands, or should I isolate her from it?"

Then she asked me, "they're not anti-trans, are they?" implying that she has heard about the discourse but wasn't too sure about it.

More likely she's saying "you're going to they are transphobic, like everything else, arent you?"

Maybe she's trying to find a place where she is safe to be herself.

Allowing a parent to decide what to do is controlling, or even expressing it that way.

The response to the question should be that the WI is complying with the law.

What an odd post (the Reddit one quoted by the OP; not the OP's), and I agree there are absolutely some red flags there.

Ultimately, always assuming it is absolutely genuine, regardless of anyone's opinion on the WI or on some people's subscription to the GC stance, what his mother does with her own time is her own damn business.

What a creepy guy. And the self centredness of these people never fails to astound me.

As though hearing GC points of view is the very worst thing ever.

Reminds me of a Ricky Gervais sketch when he was talking about a website where you can check for upsetting stuff in films. Someone had searched ' is there any misgendering in Schindler's list' - because it's fine to watch a film about death camps but misgendering is beyond the pale!!

Honestly I think the post is entirely fake. I can't imagine any grown woman of retirement age concerning herself with whether to participate or not in an activity or club based on their stance in regards to trans ideology.

"they're not anti-trans, are they?" 🙄 Give me a break can you seriously see that coming out of a grown woman's mouth? Either she's aware and doesn't care or she would just find something else to do/another club.

It sounds all too plausible to me, sadly, he’s probably putting her under a lot of pressure to be a “trans ally”.

I found the thread & while there’s the occasional response saying she should do what she likes, a lot of them are suggesting she should either join & then push for trans inclusion, join one of the mixed sex “sisterhood groups” they’re setting up or just not join at all.

This time Winston was startled into self-forgetfulness.

'You here!' he said.

Parsons gave Winston a glance in which there was neither interest nor surprise, but only misery. He began walking jerkily up and down, evidently unable to keep still. Each time he straightened his pudgy knees it was apparent that they were trembling. His eyes had a wide-open, staring look, as though he could not prevent himself from gazing at something in the middle distance.

'What are you in for?' said Winston.

'Thoughtcrime!' said Parsons, almost blubbering. The tone of his voice implied at once a complete admission of his guilt and a sort of incredulous horror that such a word could be applied to himself. He paused opposite Winston and began eagerly appealing to him: 'You don't think they'll shoot me, do you, old chap? They don't shoot you if you haven't actually done anything -- only thoughts, which you can't help? I know they give you a fair hearing. Oh, I trust them for that! They'll know my record, won't they? You know what kind of chap I was. Not a bad chap in my way. Not brainy, of course, but keen. I tried to do my best for the Party, didn't I? I'll get off with five years, don't you think? Or even ten years? A chap like me could make himself pretty useful in a labour-camp. They wouldn't shoot me for going off the rails just once?'

'Are you guilty?' said Winston.

'Of course I'm guilty!' cried Parsons with a servile glance at the telescreen. 'You don't think the Party would arrest an innocent man, do you?' His frog-like face grew calmer, and even took on a slightly sanctimonious expression. 'Thoughtcrime is a dreadful thing, old man,' he said sententiously. 'It's insidious. It can get hold of you without your even knowing it. Do you know how it got hold of me? In my sleep! Yes, that's a fact. There I was, working away, trying to do my bit -- never knew I had any bad stuff in my mind at all. And then I started talking in my sleep. Do you know what they heard me saying?'

He sank his voice, like someone who is obliged for medical reasons to utter an obscenity.

"Down with Big Brother!" Yes, I said that! Said it over and over again, it seems. Between you and me, old man, I'm glad they got me before it went any further. Do you know what I'm going to say to them when I go up before the tribunal? "Thank you," I'm going to say, "thank you for saving me before it was too late."

'Who denounced you?' said Winston.

'It was my little daughter,' said Parsons with a sort of doleful pride. 'She listened at the keyhole. Heard what I was saying, and nipped off to the patrols the very next day. Pretty smart for a nipper of seven, eh? I don't bear her any grudge for it. In fact I'm proud of her. It shows I brought her up in the right spirit, anyway.'

I wish they'd get it into their (sometimes thick) heads that we're pro women and girls and not anti anyone. There are times in everyone's life when exclusion is necessary and not a bad thing. Like when M and S keep their mens changing rooms for men and Superdrug have signs saying "products for men". But when we want to keep things for us, we're being "anti" and horrid.

It also suggests that she's been told not to do other things or join other groups if her offspring doesn't approve.

Indeed. Can you imagine the pressure he's put on her to comply with his ideological demands?
"Repeat after me mother - TWAW"

Child/parent abuse and control is fairly common, unfortunately. Guess which sex of child and which parent tends to be involved?

Totally agree - thing is in any group of mature adults you will get a variety of views on this kind of issue, same as you will politics - it’s not as if they are going to be discussing beating them up and he/she needs to mind their own business what his mother does and stop thinking anyone else’s life revolves around them

When my Mum used to go they had things like a demonstration on how to fold napkins in different ways, used to drink tea and have a slice of a homemade fruitcake. It was a place to go for company not politics.

I hope its fake, and its just a made up scenario to trigger criticism of the WI.

If its real, its deeply concerning behaviour all round. The mother is asking permission to join a club, and the adult child is using randoms on the intetnet to justify the control. They'll know that at least one reply will say WI is transphobic.

I get the twitch whe I see someone wanting to educate others about something that they have just admitted they don’t actually know about / the arrogance that they are better placed to research and educate is fascinating

If my son came along and tried to “educate” me or said I should ask his permission to go to a club, his “permission “ would be shoved where the sun doesn’t shine!
What is it with that generation? Is it just the new -old- face of misogyny?

Ive been a WI member- it’s not just jam and Jerusalem, we did discuss politics, and current issues, but not in a party political way. Mostly it was visits to gardens, interesting talks on everything from midwifery in India, through bird watching to better cake making and amateur dramatics.