Is it ok for my mum to join the WI?

[WallaceinAnderland]

This is from a thread on Reddit. The poster wants to know whether the WI is transphobic or whether it's ok to allow their mother to join.

All said without any idea of how chilling this is.

My mum went to her first meeting last night and I asked what made her join and she just said it just seemed interesting (I think she wants to get out more since she's recently retired.)

Then she asked me, "they're not anti-trans, are they?" implying that she has heard about the discourse but wasn't too sure about it. What I understand from it is that they aren't exactly anti-trans but felt pressured to do what they did?

Anyway, if it's a red flag for her to join it then I'd like to be able to educate her about it, because she is an ally at the end of the day and wouldn't want to do anything to hurt me/other trans people. But if it's not actually a big deal then I'd like her to feel free to do whatever she wants with her time, yknow?

I can recite nearly all the lyrics of 'The gas man cometh', though. Probably not in tune.

Can you do "We Will All Go Together When We Go" in the right order, though?

Now that Tom Lehrer is dead I know only one person who can reliably do that. I have never been able to. And as for The Elements, I don't think you are supposed to be able to.

Most branches really couldn’t care less either way on the matter as it’s a non issue, it’s jam making, flower arranging and slides from someone’s cruise holiday at our local branch (I’m not a member but I rent a hall to them and they send me their programme in hope of attracting someone under 70)

Actually I agree with this ^ even though it's playing into stereotypes a bit (😄)

Whyyyy are they all forced to have the TRA stuff foisted on them?

Most members of the WI just want to go to a meeting for a pleasant few hours a month with their friends. It's a chance for women, and older members in particular, to meet up with others for a natter and an interesting activity in a non-confrontational setting. And that's fine.

Its easy to read too much into reddit threads, but there is an interesting dynamic going on there.

The sub is majority male, and as a result it does reflect male attitudes and expectations. Its full of men pissed off that they can't use womens spaces, groups and opportunities. The women are sympathetic and supportive, but rarely affected themselves. They problably don’t use mens spaces or dont have the same drive to do so.

I think threads like this one reflect this. The only role women have is to support the men. If the op is a women convinced she is a man, why wouldn't she behave like any other adult son, and be unconcerned about her mothers social life? She has to signal her worth to the trans community by showing she understand how upsetting it is for the men.

How many threads have been started by men on trans reddit, unhappy that their fathers attend male only groups, or that their fathers arent campaigning to allow women to use mens changing rooms?

His Mum can join but his Dad cant.

Theres nothing stopping these men organising an inclusive group offering similar activities. Im sure they would get a great deal of support.

But they would prefer the WI cease to exist than exist without them.

Back in the old days it's likely that no man would have been seen dead attending a WI meeting. They'd rather go down the pub or to the footie or one of a huge number of other almost-exclusively-male venues and talk with their mates.

It's only quite recently that the idea of women being allowed to meet together without male oversight of their behaviour has become unacceptable, and only to a subset of (very egocentric) males at that.

I was joking upthread about the Lego, but honestly, they're very like toddlers who cannot bear mummy to do anything without them being involved.

I'm wondering about the timing. The mum only joined after the announcement that they were going to stop allowing membership for males. It makes me think that she viewed it as a safe place for her to be herself amongst other like minded women.

That's a good point!

Maybe she hopes not to be under constant surveillance for wrong-think at the WI.