The Bluestocking Inn, cocktails and cocoa and all

[DeanElderberry]

Opening soon in a salubrious location.

And thanks to the miraculous qualities, although we will indeed have

One-steps and two-steps and the divil knows what new steps
We know that we never would be dull again, bedad
We'll have wine, porter and lemonade.
We'll have cocktails and cocoa and all
We'll have champagnes tonight
But NO real pains next morning
Tonight when we dance at the Bluestocking Ball

slight apologies to Frank Harte

That was a favourite on bus trips in Fife in the ‘60s.

Back from the gym.

Snowdrops by security light.

My DC came out of school one day joyfully singing,
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves,
On everybody's nerves, on everybody's nerves.
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves -
And this is how it goes...
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
(Repeat until out of breath or gagged by parent)

They kept it up once for a good five minutes of the walk home. It is amazing that they emerged unscathed and I remained sane.

When I was a kid we sang variants on
My old man's a dustman
And he wears a dustman's hat
...and I've forgotten the rest. I think something about going down the pub and drinking beer and getting fat.

And the end of term we'd erupt from primary school bellowing, in full local,
No maw-er English,
No maw-er French,
No maw-er sitten'
On the ole skoo-wul bench.

I think there was more to that one as well, which probably involved deprecating moosic and 'rithmetic, but I can't remember.

And @SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius my mother used to sing that.

She'll be wearing pink pyjamas when she comes?

Same tune as Ye cannae shove yer granny aff the bus?

@EdithStourton

I had planned to blast out "School's Out for Summer!" on my last day as a PTC, but didn't manage to organise it, I'm afraid.

A colleague drove out the school gate on his last day with streamers going through his windows and "We're All Going on our Summer Holidays!" blasting out on his stereo.

The best I ever managed was to dance and sing "The Sun Has Got His Hat On!" at the end of term in the middle of the English Dept corridor, much to the disbelief of my very straitlaiced, very religious Heidie.

No! Same tune as John Brown's Body:
I wear my pink pyjamas in the summer when it's hot
I wear my flannel nightie in the winter when it's not
And sometimes in the spring time and sometimes in the fall
I jump into my little bed with nothing on at all
Oh! That's the time when you should see me
That's the time when you should see me
That's the time when you should see me
When I jump into my little bed with nothing on at all

To be sung in a round with:
Mary had some marmalade and Mary had some jam
Mary had some roast beef and Mary had some ham
Mary had some lemonade and Mary had some beer
And Mary wondered what it was that made her feel so queer
Whoops went the marmalade and whoops went the jam
Whoops went the roast beef and whoops went the ham
Whoops went the lemonade and whoops went the beer
And Mary knew just what it was that made her feel so queer

Anyone fancy joining me in the beer garden for a campfire this evening?

I know three different choruses to this one, too. I'm starting to suspect I may have spent too much time at Guide camps!

My old man's a dustman
And he wears a dustman's hat

'He wears gorblimey trousers' is all I remember of the rest. But ?Spitting Image once did a version sung by the then Prince Charles which still cracks me up:

My old man's a duke
He wears a ducal hat
He's never met the working class
Or seen a council flat 😂

As a young child I used to drive my mum mad with

It was a dark and stormy night and the king said to Antonio tell me a story so Antonio began. "It was a dark and stormy night and the king said to Antonio tell me a story so Antonio began. It was a dark and stormy night and the king said to Antonio tell me a story so Antonio began. It was a dark and stormy night and the king said to Antonio tell me a story so Antonio began. It was a dark and stormy night and the king said to Antonio tell me a story so Antonio began. It was a dark and stormy night and the king said to Antonio tell me a story so Antonio began..."

3 hours later I'd still be going.

Looking back I can see I really was an annoying little shit.

@Magpiecomplex can we toast marshmallows? The huge ones? Can we make sure Gasoline isn't on shift as she's a swine round a fire!

Be my guest Boily!
Gasoline is cataloguing the cheese cellars tonight.

I'll teach everyone the call and refrain version of Ilkley Moor if you ask nicely.

I’ve not come across Antonio and the king but….it was a dark and stormy night when the skipper said to the mate, “tell us a story” and the mate began….

Right said Fred, better get a move on
This ' ere wall is gonna have to go
Move on, move on, gotta get a move on
We was gettin' nowhere
And so we 'ad a cup of tea....

Bernard Cribbins, I think.

To be fair, I was brought up on G & S and never went to Guides.

Pwhoar! That's a whopper!

I did both! I can sing both Modern Major General and Johnny was a Paratrooper! Not at the same time though.

And pink pyjamas was one of the many verses of “she’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes” on the way home from Sunday School outings

I need to turn off now, at Operation Mincemeat at the Lowry

My mum's version was:

Twas a dark and stormy night. Three buccaneers came to the door. One said "Tell us a story," and this is what he said: "Twas a dark and stormy night..."

That's a rather tamer song than mine!

Courtesy of Co Pilot here’s an original hybrid piece

---

🎶 “I Am the Very Model of a Modern Paratrooper” — Original Fusion Lyric

Verse 1 (patter‑style):

I am the very model of a modern paratrooperer,

I drop from planes so frequently my boots get slightly superer.

I know the winds and thermals and the maps of every landing zone,

And when I hit the ground I make a plan before I break a bone.

Chant refrain (march‑style):

Hey‑up, Johnny, pack your chute,

Step in line and lace your boot,

Left‑right, keep it tight,

Paratroopers own the night.

Verse 2 (patter‑style):

My kit is packed precisely with a method that is rigorous,

My timing’s so impeccable it borders on miraculous.

From altitudes alarming I descend with calm acuity,

And quote logistics manuals with startling continuity.

Chant refrain:

Johnny, Johnny, don’t you slip,

Check your harness, check your grip,

Count to four, then shout “all clear,”

Paratroopers persevere.

Verse 3 (grand patter finale):

In matters aeronautical I’m practically fanatical,

My landing rolls are flawless and my posture is grammatical.

In short, in matters airborne, from the novice to the superer—

I am the very model of a modern paratrooperer.

Do we have any Sniffer Gerbils?

As part of my Christmas to myself, I purchased a spare Terry's Chocolate Orange and pair of half-price Sweaty Betty yoga leggings. I've worn said leggings once.

I ate the first Chocolate Orange, but not the spare (to my knowledge). I think that I put both the Choc Orange and the leggings in a safe place.

Still can't find them.

That's actually not bad, @Boiledbeetle!
I wonder if Gemini can do the opposite... 🤔

In with the Christmas decorations