Olivia Colman: “I’ve always described myself to my husband as a gay man.” 🙄

[NaysayerOrMeanie]

Olivia Colman is currently on the press tour for her new film Jimpa and has come out with some absolute corkers in an interview with them "magazine" including:

"Throughout my whole life, I’ve had arguments with people where I've always felt sort of nonbinary. Don’t make that a big sort of title! But I’ve never felt massively feminine in my being female. I’ve always described myself to my husband as a gay man. And he goes, “Yeah, I get that.”"

Which I can only assume means he likes it when she pegs him.

And a dig at some undefined group of naysayers and haters and meanies:

"Most of the actors were from, particularly in the Dutch side of things, from the queer community there; I’ve never been part of a more welcoming group of people. For all those naysayers or haters or meanies, if [only] they could spend the time with the most welcoming, kind bunch of people. I kind of want everyone to just come and say hi and actually feel total love."

Jimpa stars Olivia Colman as Hannah, mother to the non-binary Frances (played by they/them, non-binary, queer, transgender daughter of the film's director, Aud Mason-Hyde) who go to Amsterdam to visit Hannah's gay HIV positive father (John Lithgow, currently simultaneously scorned by the queers for daring to be in the new Harry Potter series, any by the meanies for talking shit about JKR). I'm sure it will be a hoot.

Congratulations Olivia on your brave coming out as a queer, non-binary, gay man, spicy-straight woman. You're so late to the party all the cool kids will find your identity embarrassing now.

Oh yeah I forgot about that.

Doesn't seem to have worked though

These kind of threads always evoke this for me

You're missing the point.

No one is denying her feelings.

We are irritated by her choice of words to describe said feelings, because words have meanings and 'gay' and 'man' are already taken.

We are annoyed by a society that tells women if they aren't a walking stereotype then they aren't a woman (not least because this is the same nonsense logic that says men can be women).

And we're annoyed that someone rich and famous, with a reasonably large platform is perpetuating that nonsense.

Sadly having short hair is now fairly GNC at least for a female celeb. It wasn’t always, in the 80s short hair was much more common as it was in the 1920s. And women have been much more GNC in various ways through history. But right now it’s hard to find a younger woman with short hair at all - aside from those who claim to be NB or trans.

In older women it’s much more normal though less so if they’re famous. Someone mentioned judi dench who has had short hair most of her life and it really suits her - she’s pretty unusual though.

I agree it is sad and WTF but it’s happened so I guess this is why it’s possible for someone like OC to think she’s not very feminine.

The hate on this thread is staggering. OC simply said she doesn't identify as particularly feminine, more as non-binary, why should she police what she says about herself if that's how she feels? Why can't she describe her experience as she experiences it? She's not saying she isn't female, she is saying that femininity isn't a big part of her sense of self, why does that offend people so much?

I can't see it as anything other than a fuck you to those who were called it as a slur; chosen by the trans movement so they felt justified in claiming victimhood when anybody didn't call them stunning and brave or whatever. Another of their very divisive tactics.

Also the term 'queer' was reclaimed in the 80s and earlier by the LBGT movement eg Queer Nation, not by the trans movement.

I think hate is a pretty strong (and overused on the internet) word. Yes, of course she’s allowed to express her feelings. And of course people allowed to express their feelings that they think what she said is a bit dickish. None of it is hate, it’s only opinion.

Because it's complete rubbish, that's why. She is female, there is no ' 1 way to be feminine' template. Mincing around in stilettos and wearing a frilly dress is no more feminine than wearing jeans and a t shirt. Being female is what matters. I.e biology. It's why we are in the ridiculous situation of men thinking they become women via the stereotypical dress and high heels method. I thought we had got past that stuff when I was young in the 70s, but clearly every generation has to find out anew.

There's no 'hate' - just women describing, many times, why they don't like being reduced to a stereotype.

Disagreement is not 'hate'. You've just outed yourself as being about 12. But you've just bought into the trope that women must be nice and kind and not disagree with anyone, otherwise we're hateful. Ironically doing the very thing that some of us here have been criticising.

Maybe read the thread, then you might gain more understanding?

She can describe herself how she likes; others can comment on that - do you see how it works?

There is no requirement for people to universally approve of other people's choices.

Edit to add: And no one has mentioned 'being offended'. Disagreement is not 'offence' either.

Dear God, get yourself a dictionary.

How has she reduced you to a stereotype?

Read the thread.

I have read it. And much of it is full of hate.

Then you should report those posts to MNHQ - i must have missed them. Again, disagreement is not hate.

The logic is thus:

I am a woman.
Olivia is a woman.
She thinks she's like a man because she's not a stereotypical woman.
I do not conform to the stereotypes either.
Therefore she must consider that I, too, am not a woman.

This is why NB/'Im like a man, me' is harmful bollocks.
Why cant we just be non stereotypical women?

And presumably you'd say the same about race? No harm in a person of one race saying in an interview they feel like a different race?

The thing is, there's a very interesting conversation to have about whether people from groups who are not the culturally dominant one actually do sort-of know what it's like to be the dominant group, simply because so much of our culture is written from that perspective that we all somewhat internalise that voice.

The (in our culture) "I" perspective is so often that of the white upper middle class male. Everyone is gets a "you" perspective in that their portrayal in culture is provided for them by the WUMCM not their own voice.

So the narrative voice we are invited to identify with in books, films and commentary and the "objective" perspective we are expected to take in observing and planning serve to put our minds in the habit of "thinking like a WUMCM".

As the old saying goes, the servants know all about the master and the master knows nothing about the servants.

But that, of course, is a million miles away from OC's trite comments. She's just adopting one of society's other "you" stories.

Is she not being insulting to gay men by saying this? Is she not reinforcing a stereotype of gay men? Isn't it the same as a man saying he feels like a woman ? 🤷‍♀️

Presumably you'd be equally ok if she said she didn't identify as particularly British, didn't feel much in common eith British people and actually thinks she is more like a Chinese person?

'Hate' where?!

She should keep her silly ideas to herself, I'm sure gay men find her comments ridiculous.

What's that expression about staying silent and being thought a fool or speaking and removing all doubt or similar.

But she hasn't said that she, or anyone else, is 'not a woman'. She is saying something about not feeling 'massively feminine'. Surely we can accept that for some women, feeling 'feminine', whatever that may mean for them, is more a part of their identity than for others?

Totally boring

Thank you. Yes. Being a gay man is a material reality, not a feeling. A material reality she has zero experience of, she necessarily can never have any experience of.

Of course she, like anyone else, is entitled to feel whatever she likes, but the terminology she’s used here is so lazy, reductive and plain inaccurate.

It’s not just meaningless shite; it’s homophobic, misogynistic meaningless shite.

Why would anyone think being female and not conforming to gender stereotypes means you should describe yourself as a gay man?

Define 'feminine'.
( To give you a clue, I'm feminine because I'm a female).

"I've always described myself to my husband as a gay man"

We can accept she believes it while also calling it out for being silly sexist claptrap.

This is a feminist discussion board. Pointing out when something is silly sexist claptrap is very ok here. Kind of expected in fact.