Mixed sex toilets are terrifying for women but just a laugh for men.

[CrocsNotDocs]

I can enjoy a good fart joke but this “hilarious” anecdote by cricket commentator David “Bumble” Lloyd left me cold. Men really have no idea of the fear women have of mixed sex facilities.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/3843028419327926/?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V&fs=e&fs=e

If the link doesn’t work, it’s a viral, supposedly hilarious account of David going into a mixed-sex loo for a poo and letting off a loud fart. The lady in the cubicle next to him calls out “Is that you Maureen”.

From David’s point of view, (and pretty much every man and “cool girl” on the planet) he thinks that Maureen must be such a regular farter that her friend thinks the fart noise just has to be her.

I suspect most women would read this situation differently- Maureen’s friend has realised she was half naked inches away from a strange man and is calling out anxiously to her friend to make sure she isn’t alone.

I’m wondering what this board’s thoughts would be. Am I just looking to hard into an anecdote or is men’s complete obliviousness a big issue when it comes to mixed sex facilities.

These days? I think if women have reached adulthood without gaining that understanding are fucking lucky!!

Some men don't want to share toilets with women either, in fact I would argue that the ones who do are the ones who really shouldn't!!
I was at an event with DS 17 and some of his friends and they were horrified when we all went to the loo at half time and they found that I was going to the same toilet as them - they stood guard outside until I had finished so nobody could come in (there were 6 of them and they are rugby boys)

Mind you, I think we have a men’s rights activist now telling us that we are making things up about men’s sexual paraphilias. Maybe it is uncomfortable to acknowledge that some male people have those.

100% to those who no problem with men then identify as one and use their toilets and free up the women only spaces, men/perverts can fuck right off.

Yes, maybe some have. But again, it is naive. Especially when feminists, on a feminist board, are pointing it out.

You'd think that even if they were naive about the sexual behaviour of some men, they'd know that feminists only ever have women's interest at heart. That's the whole point of feminism.

But I wonder if it's younger women, those who haven't been pregnant maybe. Certainly not gone through menopause, and maybe just haven't encountered the sort of situations women on here are talking about.

There's no doubt about it, sexism has a cumulative effect over a lifetime, with milestones like pregnancy, divorce and menopause exacerbating it.

it's comments like these:

We have mixed sex loo at work. I can’t say I’ve ever felt remotely uncomfortable or given them a moments thought. I rarely see anyone else in them.

Doesn't mind mixed sex at work, not at all uncomfortable...but they are largely the only person in there

But in places I feel comfortable, I just don't care what sex other people are.

A comment that applies to everybody. The whole point is the discomfort of some women.

I am not terrified by mixed sex toilets and I am female

This is a pitiful post. So you don't care? Oh that's okay then. Fuck all the women who do care. I was the victim of an attempted sexual crime perpetrated by a man who got into a women's bathroom, but in your book, that doesn't really happen, so let's not talk about women's and girls' safety in bathrooms. You don't get to give away my fucking rights, or those of any other women and girls, just because you are dismissive, self absorbed and uninformed.

Absolutely this.

The absolute irony, that you think feminism has taken a step backwards and you're here to educate actual feminists who have fought for women's rights for decades because you think you know better. You don't know better. You need to inform yourself as you are clueless.

The last mixed sex toilet I went into had crap all over the toilet seat. Can't imagine a woman making a mess like that.

Its probably because they are tired of all being tarred with the same brush.

At my work there is a phantom shitter who keeps shitting by the sinks. In the womens toilet.
Women are just as disgusting as men.

Well she said many. Not everyone. Not you specifically.

I’m one of the many. Never felt bothered in a mixed loo. In fact find them extra convenient as have a son with learning disabilities who can’t go alone (disabled loos constantly out of service or non existant).

Yes.

Hence why I am perplexed about women declaring the only thing they have ever needed a toilet for is for bodily waste, so to speak. I think we had one pp who breezily declared that anything else can be done at home. It is like, well fuck… have some women never had any experience with children ? Or having to work with a baby still breastfeeding ? Do they only travel by car and never by bus or have to walk and only travel locally meaning they have never been in a position where they cannot just go home to deal with their wider needs?

Or do those posting only ever visit places that have large toilets, ample and working accessible toilets and never had to assist an elderly parent?

I remember one poster who finally admitted that they drove everywhere and lived in a place with lots of family toilets or their children were at care or with family / friends so they didn’t have that experience. They never had gone out without someone else there to support.

I am constantly surprised at the number of female posters who do the ‘I’m alright Jack’ type post and dismiss other women’s needs.

How do you know it’s a woman?

i was also assaulted in a women’s bathroom. Perhaps if they’d have been mixed it wouldn’t have happened. The other women who were in there were scared to confront the man. Perhaps in a mixed loo there would have been more eyes. Who knows. But the poster’s point stands. There are so many bigger issues.

98% of all sex crimes are committed by men, including paraphilias involving faeces

A claim to have one female colleague who behaves in an extremely abnormal way, does not indicate a pattern or reflect what is typical.
The vast majority of people of both sexes would agree that female toilets are cleaner, smell better and are generally nicer. I'm sure the men who used to use the mens and have now identified into the women's will tell you this. After all, I've never heard a downside of being a TIM being to use the 'disgusting' women's toilets. Have you?

I am not terrified either but I don't want them

I see. And so women discussing their needs and mentioning that there are a group of male people that might cause them harm is being taken to be ‘all men do this’?

Yeah. Ok. Should women just STFU then lest we offend men who choose to take discussion as personally aimed at them? Should we gently have a disclaimer that clarifies that we don’t hate men and when we say that there are men out there causing harm, we don’t refer to those who are not causing harm?

Should women be more conscious of centring men in our discussions so we don’t offend them?

After all, I've never heard a downside of being a TIM being to use the 'disgusting' women's toilets. Have you?

I find it rather disturbing tbh.

I hear them all so shocked and jealous about women's toilets. How they smell nice, they're cleaner, etc.

I mean come on, mate, have a bit of self-awareness.

Door locks and home security make homeowners look weak, frightened and pathetic, and cost money. If we’re going to be burgled, we will be, regardless of whether or not we lock our doors. Most burglaries are carried out by people familiar with the house, community and who are often known the family too. So why bother locking doors? It’s bewildering to me how so much energy and time goes into thinking about insurance and home security, frankly. Aren’t there bigger issues to worry about?

😁

I'm sure it's more, but off the top of my head, there are at least two rules of misogyny right there.

1. Women and Feminism must be useful to men or they are worthless.

10. The worst thing about male violence is that it makes men look bad.

Time for the movement to call out these elements in the rank and file, then.

Me too and I don’t want them either. I hate them. I don’t know anyone else who likes and wants them if they had the choice. Any mixed sex toilets I’ve used always have the seat left up and piss around the rim/floor. I’d hazard a guess that would be by the male users despite what the women do it too crowd say.

I also have the ability to realise that having a man being in close proximity to you when you’re in a state of undress, locked cubicle or not could be problematic for many women for a myriad of reasons and that I shouldn’t be invalidating their experiences or feelings, despite it not being that much of a problem for me.