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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Mixed sex toilets are terrifying for women but just a laugh for men.

519 replies

CrocsNotDocs · 29/12/2025 06:56

I can enjoy a good fart joke but this “hilarious” anecdote by cricket commentator David “Bumble” Lloyd left me cold. Men really have no idea of the fear women have of mixed sex facilities.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/3843028419327926/?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V&fs=e&fs=e

If the link doesn’t work, it’s a viral, supposedly hilarious account of David going into a mixed-sex loo for a poo and letting off a loud fart. The lady in the cubicle next to him calls out “Is that you Maureen”.

From David’s point of view, (and pretty much every man and “cool girl” on the planet) he thinks that Maureen must be such a regular farter that her friend thinks the fart noise just has to be her.

I suspect most women would read this situation differently- Maureen’s friend has realised she was half naked inches away from a strange man and is calling out anxiously to her friend to make sure she isn’t alone.

I’m wondering what this board’s thoughts would be. Am I just looking to hard into an anecdote or is men’s complete obliviousness a big issue when it comes to mixed sex facilities.

OP posts:
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Keeptoiletssafe · 29/12/2025 13:52

Health and Safety wise they are a poorer design than single sex cubicles with door gaps (the only design that HSE say can have gaps has to be in a single sex environment). This picture below shows the issue for anyone (not just children) having a medical emergency. Obviously with 11% of cardiac arrests happening in toilets, and millions of ambulant people in this country having invisible disabilities such as epilepsy, diabetes and other heart and neurological conditions, the risk assessment would be that these private designs aren’t at safe. Indeed, people are left for hours and sometimes days in public toilets in very busy places.

The other problem for women and children is assaults. These can also be in private designs of toilets in very public spaces. They get led in or pushed back in or the man lets himself in. My dataset shows this. Please note that because so many people are known to collapse in toilets, a safety feature for all public toilets is that the toilet should be able to be opened from the outside. You are basically in a private, soundproof space that someone can let themselves in to.

Theres also the fact that thousands of people ‘just’ get trapped in toilets. Universal designs are supposed to be private and sound resistant (unlike the ones in the story). This causes problems if you haven’t got a phone or a phone signal.

Then there’s the health bit. Unisex toilets have been medically and scientifically shown to have the largest pathogen count. As well as not being able to clean and drain the floor as easily, a fully enclosed toilet needs mechanical ventilation. Depending on which scientific study you look at, when you flush a toilet the plume travels around 1m to 1.5m so unless everyone before you has closed the lid, the sink and dryer within this range will have particles that have settled on it. Then there’s the fact that men don’t wash their hands as much as women. So the door handle won’t be as clean.

Whether they are better for queues depends on various factors. The occupant time within them increases and they maybe fewer toilets overall within a given space. Because of the privacy, sex and drug taking is a problem (which takes up time). As well as ventilation, cleaning, supervision for emergencies, the prevention of misuse is the reason door gaps are used. When much of the council public toilet provision in this country has disappeared because of misuse (such as vandalism, organised sex, drugs) it makes sense to not make provision mixed sex because the design then has to be private. ‘Sex and drugs and rockin the bowl’ has always been a problem. Ever wondered why cubicles were so small? One way of stopping it was to make cubicles so small you couldn’t fit 2 people in. Still doesn’t work with plane toilets.

Health and safety wise, unisex toilets are not great.

The demographic that unisex are of least detriment to are healthy men. Indeed they tend to like them for a long sit down. Which brings us back to the original story.

Mixed sex toilets are terrifying for women but just a laugh for men.
Greyskybluesky · 29/12/2025 13:56

Barbie222 · 29/12/2025 13:47

Door locks and home security make homeowners look weak, frightened and pathetic, and cost money. If we’re going to be burgled, we will be, regardless of whether or not we lock our doors. Most burglaries are carried out by people familiar with the house, community and who are often known the family too. So why bother locking doors? It’s bewildering to me how so much energy and time goes into thinking about insurance and home security, frankly. Aren’t there bigger issues to worry about?

I'm personally not bothered about burglary though. I've never been burgled. So why should I care about anyone who has been burgled or is concerned about it?

#shrugscoolly

Helleofabore · 29/12/2025 14:08

Greyskybluesky · 29/12/2025 13:56

I'm personally not bothered about burglary though. I've never been burgled. So why should I care about anyone who has been burgled or is concerned about it?

#shrugscoolly

Can I recommend grey that you go onto a thread discussing the impacts of being burgled being treated as a joke and declare that you don’t care about being burgled, never happened to you and those who are discussing it need to know that not everyone is concerned about being burgled?

Please post it just to make the point that you want your opinion heard and taken into consideration by those who do have concerns.

(obviously grey I am expanding on your post)

Greyskybluesky · 29/12/2025 14:12

Helleofabore · 29/12/2025 14:08

Can I recommend grey that you go onto a thread discussing the impacts of being burgled being treated as a joke and declare that you don’t care about being burgled, never happened to you and those who are discussing it need to know that not everyone is concerned about being burgled?

Please post it just to make the point that you want your opinion heard and taken into consideration by those who do have concerns.

(obviously grey I am expanding on your post)

Edited

Well I did consider doing that.
But I thought it might make burglars look bad? I don't want to tar all burglars with the same brush...

bigboykitty · 29/12/2025 14:14

Oh the poor burglars...

Timble · 29/12/2025 14:14

When we were around 16 a friend and I went into town for lunch. She nipped to the loo, she was gone for ages so I went to check on her and a man had come into the toilets (female only) and had been watching her over the top of a cubicle. She was terrified and wouldn’t leave the toilets in case he was still there and assaulted her (pre mobile phones so couldn’t call me). I myself do not liked mixed toilets one bit, especially since that incident. I always take my phone with me and tell my two DDs to do the same thing. I’m sure it’s almost always fine but I never feel comfortable about it knowing what can happen.

Barbie222 · 29/12/2025 14:15

Some of these poor burglars just want to sit down for a minute in someone else’s nice clean house, after all.

MiddleChildX · 29/12/2025 14:18

Can honestly say I’ve never been terrified in a gender neutral toilet 🤷🏻‍♀️

OpheliaWitchoftheWoods · 29/12/2025 14:22

Aren't you lucky? I'm happy for you. I hope nothing ever happens to change that, as it has to many women less luckier.

Why is this so hard? Go and enjoy mixed sex facilities with men of all identities, have a lovely time, and leave the single sex facilities in place alongside for the women who do actually need them. Just do a bit of live and let live, spaces for all.

Greyskybluesky · 29/12/2025 14:23

Barbie222 · 29/12/2025 14:15

Some of these poor burglars just want to sit down for a minute in someone else’s nice clean house, after all.

😆

Helleofabore · 29/12/2025 14:23

Greyskybluesky · 29/12/2025 14:12

Well I did consider doing that.
But I thought it might make burglars look bad? I don't want to tar all burglars with the same brush...

Right you are.

But don’t let that stop you showing those people who are worried about burglars that you don’t care and you are not concerned at all.

bigboykitty · 29/12/2025 14:24

MiddleChildX · 29/12/2025 14:18

Can honestly say I’ve never been terrified in a gender neutral toilet 🤷🏻‍♀️

Brilliant. Round of applause for tonedeaf @MiddleChildX

SharonEllis · 29/12/2025 14:25

MiddleChildX · 29/12/2025 14:18

Can honestly say I’ve never been terrified in a gender neutral toilet 🤷🏻‍♀️

Good for you! Stand down any woman who has ever been followed, had unasked for 'attention' or been leered at in a public place. Not to mention actual assault. Its ok because other very cool women are not scared!! And no, who cares if you have previously been assaulted and are triggered by men in spaces that were once recognised to be places of safety for women.

Greyskybluesky · 29/12/2025 14:26

Helleofabore · 29/12/2025 14:23

Right you are.

But don’t let that stop you showing those people who are worried about burglars that you don’t care and you are not concerned at all.

I don't think they're trying hard enough to not be burgled, frankly

/s

Helleofabore · 29/12/2025 14:28

Better yet, grey, jump on such a thread and tell those who are discussing their concerns that they should not be doing that, because :

-there so many more important issues according to you.

-that it makes the group look weak and like victims to discuss their needs.

It really needs to be done grey. Go and empower that group of concerned people.

Helleofabore · 29/12/2025 14:29

Greyskybluesky · 29/12/2025 14:26

I don't think they're trying hard enough to not be burgled, frankly

/s

Not loud enough about being a potential burgle victim?

Helleofabore · 29/12/2025 14:33

OpheliaWitchoftheWoods · 29/12/2025 14:22

Aren't you lucky? I'm happy for you. I hope nothing ever happens to change that, as it has to many women less luckier.

Why is this so hard? Go and enjoy mixed sex facilities with men of all identities, have a lovely time, and leave the single sex facilities in place alongside for the women who do actually need them. Just do a bit of live and let live, spaces for all.

Why is this so hard

I don’t know.

It seems to have woken a need for posters to declare that they don’t care though.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 29/12/2025 14:37

Helleofabore · 29/12/2025 14:33

Why is this so hard

I don’t know.

It seems to have woken a need for posters to declare that they don’t care though.

Why is it always women’s rights topics they feel the need to wade on and state they don’t care?

I don’t care about loads of topics on MN, from the title the contents are obvious. Couldn’t think of a bigger waste of my time opening it to post that I don’t care about what is being discussed.

Greyskybluesky · 29/12/2025 14:37

Helleofabore · 29/12/2025 14:28

Better yet, grey, jump on such a thread and tell those who are discussing their concerns that they should not be doing that, because :

-there so many more important issues according to you.

-that it makes the group look weak and like victims to discuss their needs.

It really needs to be done grey. Go and empower that group of concerned people.

All the burglars I know are lovely. I bet you lot haven't even met any burglars in real life. You need to get out more and stop believing all the Daily Mail stories about burglars.

Helleofabore · 29/12/2025 14:38

Greyskybluesky · 29/12/2025 14:37

All the burglars I know are lovely. I bet you lot haven't even met any burglars in real life. You need to get out more and stop believing all the Daily Mail stories about burglars.

Oh. Good one!!

Hoppinggreen · 29/12/2025 14:43

Greyskybluesky · 29/12/2025 14:26

I don't think they're trying hard enough to not be burgled, frankly

/s

I have ever been burgled, I think that burglar alarms, locking doors etc is alarmist and there is no need

Helleofabore · 29/12/2025 14:43

Not sure how you are dealing with that compulsive need to state how much you don’t care about being burgled grey.

5128gap · 29/12/2025 14:47

"I don't care" is the puny last line of defence. The attack forces with their list of reasons why its a positive thing for us to share toilets with men have gone AWOL due to flawed ammunition, leaving a few stragglers to mock us into submission.

Greyskybluesky · 29/12/2025 14:47

Helleofabore · 29/12/2025 14:43

Not sure how you are dealing with that compulsive need to state how much you don’t care about being burgled grey.

😆

Got to go out now. No I'm not flouncing!

Shortshriftandlethal · 29/12/2025 14:48

newbluesofa · 29/12/2025 11:40

Mixed sex toilets are not 'terrifying' for women, saying so makes us look absolutely pathetic. I do not care about mixed sex loos. If a man wants to assault a woman he's going to do it regardless. Most assaults are committed by a man known by the woman. There are bigger issues than toilets and I'm fed up of it being such a focus.

The only reason it is a focus is because males in designated female only facilities infringes female rights and dignity. Changing rooms and toilets for women only are predicated on them being for women only, and any woman who uses them has a right to expect that they are for women only.

If you have no concern about unknown males being in close proximity to you in intimate moments of undress or biological function then you have a tougher skin than most I suggest. Good for you. Nobody is forcing you to be interested or concerend about the issues at stake. But there are many recorded instances of voyeurism, or worse, in mixed sex facilities.

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