Mixed sex toilets are terrifying for women but just a laugh for men.

[CrocsNotDocs]

I can enjoy a good fart joke but this “hilarious” anecdote by cricket commentator David “Bumble” Lloyd left me cold. Men really have no idea of the fear women have of mixed sex facilities.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/3843028419327926/?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V&fs=e&fs=e

If the link doesn’t work, it’s a viral, supposedly hilarious account of David going into a mixed-sex loo for a poo and letting off a loud fart. The lady in the cubicle next to him calls out “Is that you Maureen”.

From David’s point of view, (and pretty much every man and “cool girl” on the planet) he thinks that Maureen must be such a regular farter that her friend thinks the fart noise just has to be her.

I suspect most women would read this situation differently- Maureen’s friend has realised she was half naked inches away from a strange man and is calling out anxiously to her friend to make sure she isn’t alone.

I’m wondering what this board’s thoughts would be. Am I just looking to hard into an anecdote or is men’s complete obliviousness a big issue when it comes to mixed sex facilities.

I'm a woman with a history of SA. I'm not terrified of mixed sex toilets but I'm not comfortable with them and would avoid using them wherever possible. Whilst I am not, I can 100% see scenarios where women would be terrified.

I don’t get periods. What about me? Am I not asserting my women’s rights enough.

It's not screwing him, though is it! He's still getting to come into women's spaces. He doesn't give a flying fuck. And he doesn't understand every single woman in there has to sit on the seat.

It's not him being screwed at all. Women sitting in a toilet bristling with assertiveness won't even register.

It's the women you're screwing. The women who have been traumatised.

The women with leaking breasts, morning sickness, menopausal flooding.

Of all the people using that toilet, the ones you are screwing the most are vulnerable women.

Yay, girl power.

I don’t find mixed loos “terrifying” as the title of this thread but I really don’t like them and don’t want them to become default.

The problem seems to be that if lots of women say “mixed sec loos are ok for me” then that will be taken as acceptance “by women” and it could easily become the default provision in buildings. It’s already started happening and as time passes single sex loos will become less and less.

So I’d suggest caution for all the posters saying they don’t mind - it’s only once you’ve had a few experiences of these mixed loos (outside of a workplace) that you can get a feel for how grim some of them (not all) can be.

But once those loos are installed it’s damn near impossible to revert - it could be 10-20 years before a refit. So to those saying yes they’re all fine in an unqualified way - be careful what you wish for

But we are physically weak compared to
most men. That’s just a fact. Wonder Woman is fiction!!

I made sure my girls had self defence and martial arts training. But they’re all well aware that they could still be easily overpowered by most men. The training emphasised that the best thing to do is to avoid situations where you’re vulnerable and if you can, to run away. It would be good if society could help
protect this vulnerability and reduce the likelihood of attack. Single sex spaces are part of that.

Quoting @EvelynBeatrice upthread:
Over my years in ladies loos at work I’ve mopped up tears, helped an unconscious lady after a fit ( one arm sticking out bottom cubicle door) helped a colleague having a miscarriage.

As our very own toilets expert keeps saying, full-height cubicles are much more dangerous because nobody will know if you pass out or have a heart attack or something.

If you think some women are scared of men because they're ashamed, you're not thinking straight.

"it could easily become the default provision in buildings. It’s already started happening and as time passes single sex loos will become less and less."

TRAs are already gloating about this as a self-own for "terfs" after the SC judgment.

Rap wood those who say they’re only in for a few minutes and don’t care where they pee / don’t understand what all the fuss is about.

Bowel and incontinence and urinary urgency issues are far more prevalent in women due to biology and hormone and pregnancy complications. You may find yourselves spending long periods of time in public loos in your future. You may then find yourselves more understanding of those who prefer a stress free pleasant environment.

Luckily I knew where there was another toilet but I think I am going to send a message.

No datun!

We are only allowed to want single sex toilets for reasons that that poster has authorised! Otherwise we are weak and scared women.

I wondered why I considered messages of female ‘empowerment’ and ‘be loud!’ such as the ones on this thread as being fucked up. Having seen it in action today, I am reminded why.

Some women are genuinely terrified of being in a toilet with a man. There's a woman who posts on here who has stated it would trigger her PTSD.

And I don't for a single second believe that most women are fine with it.

It's simply not plausible. Men piss on the seat. (And yes, for those not aware, they also come on the toilet paper, and just to make sure you get it on your body, on the door knob too. They watch porn, they photograph themselves with erections, and yes, many men have a period and lactation fetish).

It's unbelievably naive to imagine that men won't fetishise women in toilets, whether they're female only, or mixed.

So yes, it's a matter of awareness, too.

In a smart paid for art gallery somewhere, where all the men are in and out, and everything is clean and sparkly, maybe. For some women. But as a previous poster said, in a motorway service station at 2 o'clock in the morning? Fuck no.

And everyone bloody knows it.

So why shame women? Is it the latest version of feminism? That all women have to do is be loud, and assertive and bobs your uncle, out goes all the sex crimes?

Doesn't it sound a teeny, weensy bit more practical to these women, to say guess what, no mixed sex toilets, which lights up the safeguarding and immediately mitigates the risk.

And no, men wouldn't just do it anyway. At the moment in a mixed toilet, there's absolutely no gatekeeping at all.

All sex crimes need opportunity. If you actually provide men with the opportunity on a plate, guess what happens.

Indeed . Dealing with perimenopausal flooding has been a real eye opener for me. I never understood it in the past, even with heavy flooding periods normally. Perimenopause is a whole new level.

I am probably one of the most assertive and stroppy women you could ever meet. DH says that I need to "disengage combat mode" at times.
I have been sexually assaulted, verbally abused and punched in the face by men.
It does not matter what we do, it matters what men do

I'm not sure if you are trying to be either sarcastic or ironic....?.but we all have a natural guard when out in public amongst strangers. It is normal and healthy to have boundaries in order to protect oneself from unknown threats or situations. We also find it important to teach children how to negotiate strangers and public places; how to look after themselves and protect themselves in such circumstances.

You may be a different kind of woman; the kind that is happy to deal with private bodily functions or perhaps get undressed and/or naked in front of strangers...but I suggest most women are not...and this is why we have developed single sex spaces, services and categories. To offer dignity, privacy and healthy boundaries in situations in which they are most necessary. Human beings have a long experience of the differences between males and females and how these differnces can play out in real life situations.

There are plenty of self published anecdotes of this very thing all over the internet. Just like there was (and likely still is) a section of only fans where male people with estrogen grown or implanted breast tissue masturbate in female toilets in videos. They have fully working penises.

It is not a general hatred of men to point out this happens.

Well, all the men who have period fetishes and lactation fetishes certainly hate women.

Let's call it tit for tat

I think you are either incredibly naive or just being disingenuous. You are seriously not aware of the many fetishes, paraphilias and obsessive pre-occupations that males can be driven to?

Loving the men in your life, having male partners, relatives and sons does not mean you disengage your brain or your wider awareness of male sexuality, proclivities and propensities.

Someone just said that men piss on the seats. Women piss on the seats too, a lot, in fact I’m sick and tired of having to wipe the seat before I start. I’d hazard a guess it is party the hoverers and partly the leakers (please do your pelvic floor exercises if you dribble) It is not men who are the main culprits.

Some men do, and we know this because they share their interests on various platforms.

Obviously NAMALT, but we have single sex facilities because when we consider assault, voyeurism, indecent exposure, SMALT. The statistics can't be avoided.

Maybe that poster was lucky enough to miss reading the nappy fetishist who would get into the nappy bins in nurseries.

I genuinely don't believe that people reach adulthood without knowing about men's proclivities. It's not exactly like porn is secret.

I sympathise with women who find shared loos scary, but posts like this are so patronising.

I'm not a 'cool girl' for being fine with mixed sex facilities. I'm a pretty average woman who quite likes the shorter queues and sharing the same facilities as my sons (well, when they are older. They are are still young enough to go to women's toilets with me).

Not every woman is terrified of sharing spaces with men. There are some places that feel dodgy, in which case I'd be uncomfortable using any toilet (I doubt rapists would be put of by a picture on a toilet door). But in places I feel comfortable, I just don't care what sex other people are.