The Bluestocking: All You Need to Know About Risk Assessments, Jazz Hands, Battenberg and Sourdough (But Were Afraid to Ask) - and gerbils. Lots and lots of gerbils.

[MyrtleLion]

Welcome to The Bluestocking, the perfectly overblown, gloriously chaotic all-women’s pub where you can have a bit of a lie down if you need it.

Expect serious debates on musicals, cake and knitting, and whimsical musings on women’s rights and why the world’s on fire (again), all under the calm supervision of our support staff: gerbils, capybaras, and the occasional quokka on secondment.

The alcohol won’t get you drunk, the pastries won’t make you fat, but the conversation will digress, and that’s the point.

Remember to namechange before posting if you’re sometimes someone else.

This is like stepping into a fever dream, or perhaps an acid trip. I literally have no clue what is going on.

Would someone be kind enough to explain the references to rodents, cake and other naked* goods, plus dance moves from Chicago and assorted musicals.

Currently assessing the potential risk of staying on this thread.

Typo, but amusing so I'm leaving it in.

ETA: Not to mention azure hosiery.

Good plan, Glad.

DH said I should show everyone the back of the Maud bauble, so here it is, duff crochet/sewing on the left ear and all.

You have to remember that Maud isn't just bidding on any auction item. She is bidding on "The Maud". And as the bauble is quite literally Maud she doesn't want to win "The Maud" at the lowest price she can but at the price she thinks it is worth.

Luckily Maud's bank account does not have 1,000,000 gerbil pounds in it.

I do however have my suspicions that one of the other gerbils, whenever Maud steps out for a new battenburg cake, is bidding behind Maud's back in order to bump the price up!

I do however have my suspicions that one of the other gerbils, whenever Maud steps out for a new battenburg cake, is bidding behind Maud's back in order to bump the price up!

Is this out of kindness, so she will realise how valued she is?

Well, we like cake & are currently fixated on Battenburg because of Maud the gerbil who's partial to it, who featured in a square on a blanket & went to stay with K&P who was sewing the blanket together & is now back & being auctioned for charity IRL & it's gerbils because AI reasons to do with linguistics (a whole other series of threads). deep breath

And the gerbils love doing musical numbers & putting on plays about Health & Safety & there are lots of other animals here & it's a place to relax & get away from the real world & think about - well, nothing really, in all its various guises.

Anyway, welcome! No risk whatsoever. Well, maybe to your sanity, but really that's not all it's cracked up to be, is it?

So...
The gerbils basically run the pub. They are wonderful little things, but not particularly bright in an endearing way.

They do a cracking line in entertainment, acrobatics, fired from a canon, musicals, Shakespeare etc. Very versatile.

They are unionised, paid and are given time off. Some are currently in Benidorm. One of whom may be pregnant or have Covid, they aren't sure which test they bought.

Maud, the only gerbil whose name doesn't start with a g has a bag she carries with her that contains battenburg cake. She's rather partial to a slice or 6.

Maud spent the summer at Woolly Hugs (a real life charity) HQ and a bauble of her is currently being auctioned off. Maud is determined to win it for the lovely K&P at Woolly Hugs.

Then of course there are the capybaras, the goats, quokkas, ghost giant wombat.... And so much more.

There's even a train that goes up Peak Woo. Great if you fancy some fresh air and the gerbils will pack you a picnic hamper. You get the zip wire back down into either the gravy or the hot chocolate bowser.

I suspect so, plus it's for charity so I'm sure the unknown gerbil doesn't even feel guilty about.

Actually, Maud's name starts with a silent g: gMaud. Deano pointed this out once.

Come on, you can't just reference "Maud the gerbil" as if I would find her in the well-thumbed copy of "Who's Who" I keep on my bedside table.

K&P? Blanket? Health and Safety? Not a clue.

I realise this is light-hearted, but I posted in the vague hope it wouldn't be impenetrably cliquey...

Anyone?

Woolly Hugs were putting together a blanket made of knitted squares made by Mumsnetters mainly knitted by posters on these threads. One of the squares was a gerbil knitted by @ifIwerenotanandroid who Android named Maud.

Maud the gerbil (imaginary), then went to spend the summer helping K&P (a real life person) at Woolly Hugs put together the blankets in the second image.

Maud returned back to the Bluestocking once the blankets were finished.

OK. So this thread is one of a series of threads, & the answers to your musings can be found in the previous threads.

There's an organisation called Woolly Hugs - outside MN but here too. They do fantastic charity work in the area of typically female crafts like knitting, crochet & woven textiles. They make blankets for hospitals & other reasons, one of which is when someone has lost someone close to them. Someone at the Bluestocking tragically had this happen to them this year, & we & others made squares which a wonderful MN user (abbreviated as K&P) crocheted together into 2 blankets with, as they always say, love in every stitch. These have been sent to our dear friend. One square celebrated the gerbils of the Bluestocking & she was named Maud. Now Woolly Hugs are having a charity auction & I made a bauble with Maud on it, which is currently being auctioned.

For reasons lost in the mists of time (i.e. last week), the Gerbils performed a theatrical work on the subject of Health & Safety. We like to test AI writing & art (results vary) & so there's a description & pictures of the event in the previous thread.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5435059-the-bluestocking-raiders-of-the-lost-sparp?page=1

Basically the Bluestocking is a fantasy pub, a place to get away from reality for a while & chat or come up with bits of eccentricity. Anyone is welcome if they like that sort of thing. Just jump in, if you want to, & come & go as you please.

PS Someone here once said she's actually in Who's Who. No idea who she is, though.

Sounds like you'll fit in perfectly, proximalhumerous, so welcome to the Bluestocking😁
I don't always understand everything either - I doubt if anyone does, there's a lot of spontaneity and riffing on previous tropes and sometimes even real life - actually there's been quite a lot of difficult real life at times...

The gerbils have a noble history - someone was illegally using MN to 'scrape' data for a PhD on our 'linguistic transphobia'. The phrase 'Foucault-addled Grievance Gerbils' was used to criticise this kind of academic endeavour, and we liked it😃

So the gerbil became a symbol of resistance, and the fact that AI at that time was crap at spelling meant that images of the gerbils were usually accompanied by weirdly-spelt approximations to proper words. Which of course made them useless as data ..

Gerbils are cute, so we welcomed any other rodent, or marsupial, into the Bluestocking, if they were cute enough. They take on roles here - the gerbils are the waiting staff, the capybaras do the maintenance etc.

Today I came across this little sweetie, it's a Husky Rat - we have to have one in the Bluestocking, and its only role will be to make us go aaaawwwwwwwww

Phew just in time to edit the apostrophe out of 'it's' in the last sentence - we have a Pedantry Corner, proximalhumerous, and I seem to have got a reputation as a pedant [entirely undeserved, I just like words] so noblesse oblige that I know how to handle apostrophes correctly

Can I go Squeeeee, Marieeeeee?

Does it do this, or does it just stand around coughing? (I asked for the rat to hold a whip & the AI gave it bondage gear as well 😂)

It stands around looking impossibly cute, Android, and that's all. No coughing, no bondage gear, no dog-sledding. Just looking heart-meltingly cute - ah of course, you don't have one to melt, have you, just a central processing unit😁

Well, that was uncalled-for. I was wondering what it is you displayed there: robophobia? synthophobia?

Handbags at dawn in the lower field. (Love the way the AI has rounded off the corners of this one, like it's an actual photo.)

Where did the day go? suddenly, it's tomorrow, and way past my bedtime!
G'night all, may the Sleep Gerbil bring you sleep and the Dream Gerbil bring you dreams that don't involve being chased by a large animal, or sitting an exam you knew nothing about..
G'night proximalhumerous, and VeraAtkins, hope to see you in the Bluestocking again soon

Android - you look very human in that image
You have an unfair advantage, your handbag has sharp corners and a bit of metal on the front, mine is tapestry!

You didn't aaaaaawwwwww enough over little Husky Rat, that's why I accused you of not having a heart - only joshingx Night.

I know, dear. whispers It's all a fantasy anyway. But don't tell anyone. 💙

I think we need something like this in the Bluey.

Aaaawwwww at both husky rat and capybara Advent calendar.

@proximalhumerous, the motto of the Bluestocking seems to be, 'Confused? You will be!'

If you can deal with that, all is good. It's bonkers here, but very friendly.

I'm hoping that crochet is allowed in the knitting snug. I'm also guessing that any yarn acquired in there doesn't actually take up any space, just like the wine doesn't get you drunk.

One of my best purchases ever was from a WH auction but it wasn't gerbil related 😮

The Bluestocking's secondary motto refers to the world outside our hallowed walls.

It is an all-female (dogs and seagulls sometimes excepted) refuge from the travails and tragedies of that place called 'real life'. Many of us are coping with stuff of one sort or another. We try to be mutually supportive. The catering is excellent. Mostly. Someone (probably a gerbil) once invented a spam cocktail called sparg. My advice is to shun it.

Ow! Ow!

OK OK OK!

<clears throat >

Everyone gather round please.

Yes Gubbins, gerbils as well...

I would like to apologise for the fact that during the night I mistakingly described Maud as 'imaginary'.

If nothing else the way she lobs a piece of cake has proved to me beyond doubt that she is indeed very very real.

I will spend the day reflecting on my poor word choice as I cover Mauds 12 hour shift.

My name is Boiled and i will be your pot washer for the day.

Once again apologies to Maud, and by extension every Bluestocking Gerbil for using the I word.

android, re Who's Who. Me, but not as the named entry.

I think there are a lot of crocheters in the knitting snug so you'll be fine.

I can do neither so I just stand outside with my nose pressed up against the window watching them like some weird wool stalker.