The Bluestocking: All You Need to Know About Risk Assessments, Jazz Hands, Battenberg and Sourdough (But Were Afraid to Ask) - and gerbils. Lots and lots of gerbils.

[MyrtleLion]

Welcome to The Bluestocking, the perfectly overblown, gloriously chaotic all-women’s pub where you can have a bit of a lie down if you need it.

Expect serious debates on musicals, cake and knitting, and whimsical musings on women’s rights and why the world’s on fire (again), all under the calm supervision of our support staff: gerbils, capybaras, and the occasional quokka on secondment.

The alcohol won’t get you drunk, the pastries won’t make you fat, but the conversation will digress, and that’s the point.

Remember to namechange before posting if you’re sometimes someone else.

<nurses hand>
I'd advise not.
And she's a she, I believe.

puttung 2 and 2 together, I’d look in the backyard of a pasty shop

In America, racoons are known as trash pandas.
They are drawn to waste bins like moths to a flame, and make the average urban fox look like a rank amateur.

That's so funny, and obviously why they chose that name for the shop!

it's just as well he's male, when I read the first report I was afraid it was like the very very fat hedgehog I met in the garden that climbed straight up an ivy-covered tree to get away from me (all I did was say 'oh hello little hedgehog') but returned a few days later with a sleek new silhouette and five little babies.

It takes a very long time to drive 15 miles in That London. From my hospital appointment to my friend's place yesterday was 2.5 hours and then into Central London today was 90 minutes.

I can't do trains and tube with the hurty foot (and overnight bag and crutch etc).

Anyway I am here in time. I haven't been able to turn the sound up on that video, but it's on my list for tonight.

That London is... Well, I'm not a fan. It never gets properly dark there, it's never properly quiet (though some parts are relatively peaceful) and there are too many people.

I should keep a regular horses vs humans count on my walks round here. I would estimate that it's usually 4:1.

I was wondering how you were getting on in London, Myrtle - you're missed from the tribunal threads!
I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible

I'm off to do another bit of forgotten tidying before my guests turn up - I wish they'd said something more precise than 'After lunch', I hate not knowing when exactly people are arriving. I keep finding new pockets of untidiness which of course they won't notice anyway🙄

I worked in That There London for 11 years and do not miss it one bit.

I don't mind short visits to That London but, except for the museums, I seem to spend most of my time there in the parks. I always catch a dreadful cold if I use the Tube.

That There London can be a bit stressful, particularly trying to get about it.

I do not like the Tube. I'm quite fond of the DLR though. It's like a wee toy railway.

I lived in Finsbury Park for a few months back in the 70s and rather liked it. I imagine it’s changed a bit in 50 years though.

I will say, what takes me to the fair about Londoners is how stressed they get about missing a Tube, when there's going to be another one in two minutes.

I don't know how they would cope in rural Ireland, where some places get two or three buses a day.

We’ve enjoyed a few visits to London this year. The air quality is noticeably better nowadays than when I was a kid. We used to go there by train from where we lived on the coast and always noticed how much dirt a nose blow at the end of the day would yield. 😂

We always knew it as " Krapy Rubsnif".

Reporting back from Not London walk.
Horse to human ratio = 2:1
Sheep to human ration = 22.5 (approx):1
I lost count of the sheep, but I only saw two humans, unless you count motorists who you usually can't really see as such.

Today's mince pie to Edith ratio = 3:1, but in my defence they were all homemade and not very big.

Love the idea of Krapy Rubsnif, by the way. It sounds like a suburb on the outskirts of Moscow, or some godforsaken industrial town in the Urals.

I always read Wednesday as Weh-duh-nesday thanks to a massive banner on a hotel on the Blackpool seafront with the lettering really badly spaced. It was decades ago but somehow it stuck.

Ambulance is am-boo-lanky because someone told me that's how they read it when they were coming out of a general anaesthetic. I hope, for many reasons, that I never have to dial 999 for an amboolanky.

Except we pronounce it as " Crappy Rubsniff" which is not so Russian!

Oh, I dunno, that was how I was mentally pronouncing it!

Years ago I was listening to the news on Radio 4 (in the days when Radio 4 news was worthwhile) and some important boff or author or whatever had died, and 'family friend' Mr Terry Kelly was asked for his comments. For someone I'd never ever heard of, I thought Mr Terry Kelly seemed remarkably radio-competent, from his relaxed tone from the off with his interviewer, and his steady pace, and his complete lack of ums, errs and general stumbles.

And then he and the newsreader bade each other an amiable farewell, and we were informed, 'And that was Tariq Ali with this thoughts on...'

He's been Terry Kelly to me ever since.

ETA back a b in front of 'off' which autocarrot didn't like.

I lived in That London for about 15 years, and still have a soft spot for it. I wouldn't mind moving back, but it'd have to be one of the leafier (aka ruinously expensive) neighbourhoods.

I shall tell my old story of a phone call in which I was informed that my friend was now going out with a "Randy Communist"

Transpired he was a "Land Economist".

Love it!

I once knew someone who explained that his mother was an Occupational Terrorist.

Or rural Mid-Wales where many villages get no buses at all. Our village has just been included on a new bus route after years with no buses at all, but I haven't used it yet as the two buses a day are not at convenient times for me.

Tariq Ali/Terry Kelly reminds me of a misprint I once saw: Krishnan Guru-Murphy So many Irish people in the media, eh?😀

The TA/TK thing is possibly because of something I've notice in English-English pronunciation- possibly south of England, I haven't localised it in detail:
sticking the final consonant onto the beginning of the following word.
The only example I can think of offhand is Wee kend.
So Tariq Ali was possibly pronounced Tari Qali.

I suppose it's like what happens in French, where they do that systematically - Allons z-enfants de la patrie..

I loved London when I lived there. Big, fast, full of so many different kinds of people and music and food and everything. And a lesbian scene, back in those days...
A bit too big and too fast for me now, when I go back.
And, infamously, feck-all lesbian scene these days - my clubbing days are long behind me now anyway, but that's not the point😠