Advice please - TIM teacher just arrived at DD’s school

[KnottyAuty]

DD reports that the new teacher has asked to be referred to as she/her and Ms Smith. They are obviously male. DD isn’t happy about the power imbalance of potential behaviour points and detentions for non compliance.

I’ve got no idea how to advice DD how to handle this but obviously know from reading here that using this language is a safeguarding problem. Ms Smith should follow the same rules as all the other male teachers. If everyone must use this language, then it looks like the school is unable to tolerate GC beliefs.

Suggesting that DD respectfully avoids pronouns doesn’t seem workable as using the teacher’s name will include “Miss”….

Is there a gender neutral way of referring to a teacher like “Professor”?!

What do I advise DD so she can work within her GC beliefs? And what should I write to the school to say about this?

eta clarification

Plus societally, they still have a massive effect. My eldest just turned 15, so now when we go away I have to book for 2 adults and a child - now that they see a male adult and a female adult I've had more than one query come through assuming he's the lead/in charge of it all as the 'Mr' in the group.

As PPs said upthread, I could have had a bit of fun calling the teacher Mixter (which Wikibollox says is the long form of Mx)

also, the way PPs wander in here having no idea……

Do you think that female people should have single sex provisions that exclude all male people (above the age of about 8 years old when needed)?

If not, then no, I can see that the case would not be of interest to you.

If so, then actually, this will be a significant case for protecting single sex provision.

But it's absolutely the same thing. They wish me to say words I do not believe in that prop up a belief I do not hold. And they want me to do this, with no reciprocal care or respect for me as a person, my beliefs and my feelings.

They want. I give.

No. I'm not into coercive control. People are free to invite me to use their chosen words and participate in their belief. And I'm equally free to say no.

Ah yes, the BBC
which has disciplined a female member of staff for a facial expression
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c3epwz08ewzo

No i just don't have a passionate interest in this topic so I dont spend hours and years researching it. I know a bit because my friend has a trans child so I've watched a couple of things but that's it.

I hope schools wise up in the coming years, but for now it is what it is.

Nothing changes until you decide to make the change!

Have you heard of Rosa Parks, Emmeline Pankhurst, Mary Wollstonecraft etc…

We need more brave women to stand up and say “BOLLOCKS” to this Gender nonsense.

Turning a blind eye and ignoring what’s going on in front of your eyes is how men like Hitler and Putin get into power.

We should be empowering our children to stand up and say “I’m not going to pretend this is ok”.

I think it is entirely situational. I think perhaps when you are really... passionate about the subject, you might be compelled to think up different scenarios and think about what should or shouldn't happen. I don't share that compulsion. But since you asked, I think it depends.

Well there's no need to take an interest unless you want to.

But if you have any rights left as a woman in a few years' time then it'll because the women here were putting in the hours.

Because we don't base titles on those other attributes, but we do on sex.

Actually, that's not true now I think about it - my son has some teachers that are addressed as Dr, and I'm sure at the catholic school across the way they address the priest as father - maybe the nuns as sister.

So we do draw their attention to ability (or rather qualification) and religion at least.

Keeping it to the case in question then.

Do you think that female nurses should have changing facilities (they are communal due to budget constraints) that exclude ALL male people from that changing room?

It is a yes or no question. You either believe that they do or don't.

Not seeing BBC reports is not the same as the BBC not reporting

I'm sorry that I don't have an answer, unless the TIM agrees to be addressed as 'Teacher'.

I did a general supply stint in a certain Scottish secondary school a couple of years ago.

One of the classes I covered had a laminated nameplate with a cartoon of a bloke with a beard and his name: "Mx Whatever". He was, apparently, non-binary.

The kids dutifully referred to him in his absence as "Mx", but kept slipping up and calling him "He..." - as in "Mx Whatever says that we put him off his work, but we ken he's just on holiday..." [I went temporarily deaf at that point and finished giving out the textbooks and pencils.]

The LA was very keen to be seen as a trans ally, but I'm not aware of children being hauled up for using the wrong pronouns or nomenclature. I hope that your daughter's school is sensible, OP.

The point I'm making is that children can't help getting it 'wrong' - they know what they're seeing.

No it will probably be because we successfully refute the right wing political parties that want to mess with things like abortion and deport women back to countries where they have fewer rights than they do here.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cwy921n5dwro

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cgrqjyxzwnro

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cglnrr7yx2jo

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c75rxpnqx9yo

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c78ed8v0g8lo

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c87dzvnqwwro

We were told by the trans activists to go and educate ourselves. So we did. What you are seeing on this thread is the tip of the iceberg in terms of what women - those who worry about women’s and children’s rights - have discovered in the process of educating ourselves. I understand that until now this has been of no interest to you. Why all of a sudden, then, have you come on a thread talking about something you profess to know little about and have little interest in, to tell us all how to think about it?

It's a power grab ,he has the power as teacher to demand they call him whatever the hell he likes
The headteacher of this school is BAT SHIT
Go to the papers with this ...let the UK see what a rediculous situation the children are being put in

Engaging with the derailers is always a waste of time

You’re right. I should take my own advice:

Again, it depends. I don't have firm views either way because I think that someone who is male but nobody knows isnt an issue. The issue comes in when people know. Then it really depends on various factors.

Why is my personal view so important to you? It isn't even important to me.

Helps if I attach the image…

Thread title interested me in the main feed. It is the reason for me clicking on any thread.

Is there a balance to be struck? If someone wants to be referred to as the opposite sex in a professional environment such as school or work, don't you just do it, even if privately you think it's crazy and a complete load of bollocks? I have my pronouns in my email sig at work because I work for a very right-on company, but I think it's absolute bollocks and only did so to toe the party line as I need my job. I have a female name and anyone who sees me or talks to me on the phone can see as clear as day that I'm female. No pronouns required, on Planet Normal.

Doing stuff that you think is bollocks is just part of life. The teacher has the right be referred to as they want. Nothing you or your kid can do about it, and if your kid pushes back, they will be seen as a trouble-maker. We don't always agree with the world around us, and we can't always bend it to our will. Just tell your DC to do it and get on with their education.

Eh?

We were told by the trans activists to go and educate ourselves. So we did

Martina Navratilova is my favourite example of that. Telling us to "educate ourselves" was such an own goal by the trans activists.