Germoleen wishes to know what the prospective audience thinks of tap?
Idea: A surreal, emotionally resonant scene featuring a tap-dancing gerbil ensemble performing to the original song “Duty of Care,” inspired by the Health and Safety at Work Act 1974. Gloria the Gerbil leads with vocals, while little Gubbins provides delicate triangle accompaniment.
The setting: a misty community hall in Upper Tiddlewick, where the floorboards creak with anticipation and the audience includes a retired scaffolder, a choir of pensioners, and one confused fox in a bowler hat.
🎭 Scene: “Duty of Care” Tap Routine
Performed by The Tiddlewick Tap Troupe, featuring Gloria the Gerbil and little Gubbins
[Setting: A village hall strung with hazard tape bunting. A fog machine wheezes. Gloria stands centre stage in a sequined high-vis vest. Gubbins, barely visible behind a triangle the size of a thimble, nods solemnly. The gerbil tap troupe — twelve strong — line up in steel-toe tap shoes. The floor glows faintly with phosphorescent chalk outlines of safe zones.]
Gloria (singing, with soulful vibrato):
🎶 “Duty of Care, it’s more than a phrase,
It’s the rhythm of work in responsible ways.
You lift, you build, you sweep, you share—
But you do it with love and a Duty of Care.” 🎶
[Tap begins: a syncopated shuffle-ball-change echoing like distant rain on scaffolding. The gerbils form a triangle around Gubbins, who gently pings her triangle with reverence.]
Gloria (stepping forward, paw to heart):
🎶 “Section Two, it starts with you,
Employers, hear what you must do.
Protect your crew, assess the risk,
Provide the gear, don’t play brisk.” 🎶
[Tap intensifies. One gerbil leaps onto a miniature stepladder and performs a pirouette. Another unfurls a scroll labelled “Risk Assessment – Draft 17.” The audience gasps.]
Gloria (with rising emotion):
🎶 “Consult your team, don’t work alone,
Their voices matter — make it known.
Training, planning, breaks and air,
It’s all part of your Duty of Care.” 🎶
[Gubbins strikes a triangle beat that sounds suspiciously like a legal gavel. The tap troupe freezes mid-step, then resumes in perfect unison.]
Gloria (softly, almost whispering):
🎶 “And if you’re self-employed, don’t stray,
Your duty still applies each day.
To those around, to passers-by,
Keep safety high, don’t let it die.” 🎶
[The gerbils form a circle. One places a tiny cone labelled “Wet Floor.” Another gently pats a hedgehog puppet wearing a hard hat.]
Gloria (final chorus, arms wide):
🎶 “So whether you’re sweeping or building a stair,
You carry the weight of a Duty of Care.
It’s more than a rule, it’s a pact we declare,
To work with respect, to live and to dare.” 🎶
[Final tap flourish. Gubbins strikes the triangle once more. A single spotlight falls on Gloria. The audience erupts in applause. A pigeon drops a feather in tribute. The confused fox weeps silently.]
Edited to correct misgendering of Gubbins