Always been GC, but now afraid I'm becoming transphobic

[HouseOfGuineaPigs]

I've always been gender critical and 100% in support of safe spaces for natal women only. I'm completely comfortable with being gender critical. But I'm concerned I've crossed a line into becoming a full on bigot, which is something I don't want to be. Due to my own background of mental health and trauma issues I follow pages on this issue on Facebook. I just saw one with a graphic post saying Using Preferred Pronouns Is Suicide Prevention and it made me want to scream and throw things.

I've been suicidal, I've attempted. I've battled see harm and self destructive behaviours since childhood. I should be sympathetic about the struggles people are having . But I feel manipulated seeing posts like that one. I use preferred names when I'm addressing trans persons. I am kind to them, I don't mention their issues. I treat them the same as anyone else. I will call a bloke Sue even if his real name is Bob, it feels odd, but I will do it to be respectful . But calling a he a she is a step too far. I would either use their name or use they.

Why do I feel so strongly that I'm being manipulated ? None of the trans people I know have abused me in any way. They haven't infringed on my boundaries . I have 2 trans friends, another who is non binary and 2 acquaintances. They have all been decent .

I just feel resentful that I'm being made to feel responsible for someone not taking their life because I don't affirm their identity ?

I'm horrible aren't I ? Please sort my head out !

AI? 😂I truly feel so embarrassed for you.

Here, these are solely about sex offences:

Ahhhh the sweet sound of running…..

Oh yes, feminists are 'charlatans'. We know what you men think of women and feminists. Especially when the facts they gather are inconvenient to you.

No love. We want you to go look at the data that does exist, you’ve been shown before many times. Google is your friend.
have you thought about getting an eye test. Gradual blindness is a thing and you’ll need your eyesight. Don’t want you going blind do we? #eyesightmatters

@Howseitgoin

”That a minority of women don't ascribe to gendered stereotypes is irrelevant…”.

I think you’ll find that the majority of women don’t ascribe to gender stereotypes. I can almost guarantee that every female on this thread has broken some of the gender stereotypes you adhere to. I myself are wearing trousers, and blue and black clothing, like many people on this thread.

Why is it that women can wear ‘men’s clothing’ and know they are still women, but men feel that if they wear a dress, they reincarnate into a woman (they don’t)?

You spent at least one week, if not two dismissing it. That you cannot remember this, should be of significant concern for you. Or did you spend so much time writing

FALSE and COMPREHENSION FAIL

that you did not even bother to read what we posted. You were that quick to dismiss it that you didn't even bother to read what we posted.

If you don't know how to search back for it, that isn't our issue. You did tell me "I'm not here to wipe your bum for you…"

Yet you expect me or another woman to bring you the link.

That there is entitlement.

And please do keep declaring that it doesn't exist. It doesn't mean that it doesn't exist though or that the regular posters on this board already have read it and understand it and the significance of it.

Indeed, that is just for June 2018.

What is the reason do you think that all the up to date and current information was so forgotten?

I think we really should let Howsa do their own work since they spent so much time fighting the very data that they are now demanding. I don't believe we should be bringing that data when we have told Howsa where to find it.

Um, a sub stack pic doesn't qualify as official prison data from the UK GOV. As per the UK GOV no details on sexual offences for trans people kept:

www.gov.uk/government/statistics/hmpps-offender-equalities-annual-report-2023-to-2024/hmpps-offender-equalities-report-202324

I have already posted the very data, that you are now, demanding weeks ago. I even went through it, something that you lack the ability to do when you post links.

You are looking in the wrong place.

Your poor search effort doesn't mean the statistics don't exist.

The UK government report on prison data is the wrong place is it? Maybe 'Fair' Play can help us? 😂

Nighty night!

To be fair. He’s only got one hand free.

No. You were looking at the wrong 'UK Government' report.

It really is not that hard to understand why I can confidently say ' You were looking at the wrong report.'

Oh... wait. that is right. Near enough is good enough isn't it? I forgot that.

The problem with your analysis is that you take TWAW literally. When all trans women are doing is identifying more with the inclinations socially associated with women than men. No one is suggesting this makes them 'biological' women rather socially more associated in terms of typical inclinations.

This is one of the most absurd, ridiculous explanations of what a so-called "transwoman" is that I've ever read.

A man who likes things which are more often associated with women (because of stereotypes) thinks that that makes him some sort of woman.

You're right that this doesn't make him a biological woman, but it doesn't make him any other sort of woman either. It makes him a man who likes to do things which are more associated with women than men. So what? People's sex doesn't depend on stereotyping, it's purely biological.

That a minority of women don't ascribe to gendered stereotypes is irrelevant to the fact that society as a whole ascribes certain actions as female coded. Again it's not trans people that make these rules its wider society by their overwhelming actions that you yourself partake in.

And here we have more mansplaining to feminists about gender stereotypes . Do you realise how ridiculous this makes you look? Do you think we don't know about gender stereotypes? We don't want to be defined by them. We want to destroy them or at least ignore them. If you think that they're so important that men who don't conform to male stereotypes and/or embrace female ones are some sort of woman, then you're part of the problem.

You're right that trans people didn't make up gender stereotyping. They just decided that it consisted of rules that they wanted to live by. We think the stereotyping is wrong and everyone should be able to be themselves regardless of their sex. The best way to do this is to ignore the stereotypes, not see them as rigid rules which you have to conform to.

You... ah... do understand how statistical analysis should be correctly read, right? Right?

Here in a handy easy to understand graphic

I always do enjoy a man mansplaining how very important it is that women accept and nurture the very important feelings and special variations on manhood and emotions and needs and wishes that make them some kind of woman and entitled to be in women's spaces....

while simultaneously dismissing women's feelings, needs, access, culture, perceptions, disabilities, and actual evidenced assaults by such men enjoying their use of women in women's spaces as merely a 'moral panic'.

Nuff said really.

If you can dismiss all that for women, why would you expect women to care about any of it for men?

OK, I've cooled off and come back to the thread. Yeah, I realise my reactions have been a bit intense. For what its worth I havent acted on those emotions, I'm in therapy anyway and am a lot better regulated. I guess I'm overthinking the whole question. I guess part of me feels that its not my job to affirm anyone's gender, and I feel a bit resentful that it would be expected of me. I didn't affirm my trans friends or acquaintances, I was polite to them and respectful but I didn't bother using any pronouns just the names they have chosen.

Why do these people need me to affirm them? It's surely enough to just be respectful and avoid any drama. I resent that I have to babysit their feelings when I dont owe them that.

Since you are very evidently not an experience statistician, can you tell me what - precisely, and with particular references to the data listed - you think this chart shows? I would hate to think you've just grabbed a chart online which superficially appears to align with your narrative and are now feverishly - and, I fear, somewhat embarrassingly - waving it online shouting "See! See!? Numbers!!!".

I just dont believe I should have to do the whole ally thing, that's a lot to lay on a friend or acquaintance. Suicidal feelings are for professionals to deal with. Im not in a strong position myself, I am happy to listen and be kind but it messes with my neurodivergent perimenopausal head to have to remember to call someone he or she when I think of them as the opposite. However I accept that is a me problem.

No, it’s not. Just walk away.

Threatening suicide to ensure compliance is abuser 101 @HouseOfGuineaPigsReturnsWhereSheLeftOff- focus on that.

I think we can draw many conclusions from today's experience.

One is that this particular poster is not serious about discussion at all. They make claims that they simply cannot support, plus they have now really just shown that they simply cannot be bothered to read what they post. Which was really a confirmation of something we have pointed out before.

It is startling to realise that a poster who was so heavily engaged in dismissing and discrediting data did not even bother to read and get to know the data they were dismissing. Yet they spent a huge effort belittling, mocking and even getting abusive towards the people who were pointing to the information and saying, but this information is accurate it just is you won't accept it.

Imagine relying on AI to deliver you accurate information about a topic that is so political. That is not something that a person who is wanting any serious exploration of the discussion should be doing. And yet, every so often this poster confirms that the research they present only consists of looking at AI results.

All this, just to find a wheedle that will work on women to allow men to be women.

You really couldn't ask for better demonstrations each day.

You really are not alone feeling this OP.

That poster’s wishes are a total non starter, because so called “trans women” are simply a group of men. No more, no less.