Men in women’s groups.

[gingangirly]

Really unsure if I’m being unreasonable, but what do others think?

I belong to a FB group for women over 65 in my town. They have lots of get togethers, at least a couple a week. A few months ago there was a vote after a man requested to join. The overwhelming majority said no. If they want a similar group, start their own. Fair enough.

However there is a trans woman that has been welcomed with open arms. He would NOT pass as a woman, not quite a bloke in a wig but certainly you would know he was trans.

What do people think about this? Acceptable or not? I’m am totally the ‘live and let live’ but seems a bit disingenuous to ban men but not trans women?

Our brain is an organ. A bit of the “meat sack”.

You loose your legs or eyes or whatever and your brain attempts to work but fires off all kinds of signals to those bits that aren’t there or don’t work, it waits for responses but doesn’t get them. It misinterprets responses from other areas as from the defective or missing part.

It’s a massive trauma (physical sense of the word) and your brain attempts to cope. It’s quite good at that really but not perfect. You change as a person when you are an amputee. It is offensive of you to think that people remain the same.

If it were possible to change a trans persons body entirety to that of the opposite sex as they desire they would literally be a different, new, person. Their brain would not remain the same as it is part of the body. Their consciousness would be irrevocably altered.

This is basic science and philosophy. Jeez.

Your brain is a part of your body, it is affected by the hormones created and released by your endocrine system, this includes your sex specific hormones. Baby boys are born with more testosterone than baby girls, boys have a testosterone "boost" at about she 4, this influences their brains, as female hormones affect girls.
This idea that your brain is different from your physical entity, is frankly garbage.

Your still putting words in my mouth. That has never been said by me. I said I can understand if he wishes to be a woman or feels like he was born in the wrong body. I didnt say he feels like what he thinks a woman should feel like. He knows how he feels and he feels he should have been female.

Well perhaps this doesnt fall under science or philosophy. It's just the amazing variety of human beings. How completley different we all are. I have my opinion on it. I am allowed to accept it!

Honestly its amazing that I dont have an issue with something and it's not accepted. How dare I not have an issue with it! Interesting. Non acceptance of a different belief or outlook, what a surprise within this topic.

So you can’t explain? Just say that then.

I have explained it. Your mind isnt open to the subject, its closed off, so you wouldnt get it. Its like- I dont believe in god, and someone speaking to me about their belief in god, I'm never going to get it am I. I'm not going to understand their way of looking at that subject.

So your group have voted to allow trans women but not regular men who identify as such?

If it's just a FB group I don't think anyone can claim discrimination? Do you think the solution is to kick out the trans woman? Or admit the man? That's already been voted against so I don't really see it being voted again.

My mind is closed off because I don’t believe that a self selecting group of men become women by saying magic words? You are the one who admits to discrimination by treating non trans identifying males less favourably than TiMs. You have not been able to articulate why you would allow a TiM in the group but not another male.

We let one transwoman join our female-only Facebook group and he started a witch hunt against any woman in the group who did not 100% validate and support him.In the end , he managed to become a moderator and he banned me because I said , I wasn't comfortable with a man being in a so called female only group.

If you look back over my posts I have explained that. I dont believe they become women either. But I'm happy to accept them into a woman's group. That's just my opinion. You are allowed not to agree with it and I am allowed to be ok with it.

OK, but why should a feeling that he labels "woman" which has no connection to actually being a woman entitle him to be treated more like a woman than any other man?

If I feel "Japanese" should Japanese people respect that because I really feel it?

Again, it's because you are basically saying "Well I'm sexist and that's just how I feel and I'm really surprised so many people care about it"

Would you allow their god beliefs to determine how you live?

If a man says their God belief says they are allowed to join a woman only group, would that be ok by you?

If not, why is it different if it's a woman belief?

But why are you not equally happy to accept other men with genuine interest in the subject matter of the group?

Like with any friendship acceptance usually depends on whether an individual complements the friendship. Perhaps the transwoman was accepted by your friends & not the man as they felt she had more in common with them. Men on average have distinctive behavioural, cultural & psychological traits to women so I suppose it depends on the individual concerned.

So why not say the group is open to those who people accept independent of sex ?

Oh we get it. You're a 'cool girl' who thinks women should not have anything for themselves, right?

But they are not women, they are men. Male. It's a female only group.

NM

I can imagine making friends when you are trans would be 100x more difficult

That's their problem. They did it to themselves, actions have consequences.

I'd understand they were trying to make female friends

Female only groups don't exist for MALES to make female friends. That's not the point of it. They can make female friends outside of a female only group.

A transwoman IS a man! There is no difference!

So it's all about the man's 'feels'. HIS 'feelings'.

Right?

You keep on saying 'female'. Yet they tell us they know they aren't female. They feel like a woman. Not a female. There is a difference. They themselves say that. They don't feel like a female. They feel like a woman.

And they are not women.

Your whole premise is all about centring the 'feels' of men. Can't you see that?

So basically pity. Centring the wants of men. You couldn't be more on your knees for men and the patriarchy if you tried.