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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

What would you actually do if you saw a transperson in the wrong toilet/changing room for their sex? Thread 2

141 replies

FattyMcFattyArse · 26/08/2025 10:35

Continuing the previous thread because it filled up. Really appreciating all the contributors giving their views, experiences and educating others.

What would YOU do if you came across a male dressed as a woman in a public ladies' loo?

Or indeed a woman presenting as a man in the men's toilets?

Would you confront them? Walk away and say nothing? Report it to staff?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
ThatBlackCat · 27/08/2025 04:22

SnowFrogJelly · 27/08/2025 00:48

I think I would have to clutch my pearls

Wow, you really are hateful and have no human compassion.

PeonyPatch · 27/08/2025 04:22

Wouldn’t engage - wouldn’t feel comfortable to

bittertwisted · 27/08/2025 05:45

NPET · 26/08/2025 17:51

Well you've used the p word so I will too! It's that "item" which makes all the difference. If you're unlucky enough (lol) to have a penis, you are NOT welcome in toilets, changing rooms, or anywhere else that is marked for v-sprouting members of society!
(As far as I'm concerned anyway.)
I'm one of the best/worst women when it comes to joking about penes (or should it be penii?), but the simple serious fact is that they are undesirable objects (with the possible exception of a bedroom containing 2 consenting adults) which should be heavily restricted.

(I'm aware that within my age group - I'm 21 - I'm not in the majority, but minorities are so often proved to be right!)

Show quote history

aside from the trans and toilet situation…..

how DARE you say that about boys. They are not undesirable, and you wouldn’t exist without a penis doing its job

your attitude is saying a penis is disgusting insults every mother of a son

I am embarrassed for you

NPET · 27/08/2025 12:45

ThatBlackCat · 27/08/2025 04:00

It's not different. Women are in a state of partial undress in the toilets. Also washing out blood-stained underwear, blouses with baby sick or something else spilled, having a miscarriage, or fleeing to the ladies to escape a man.

How is those stages of vulnerability not the same as changing your clothes in a change room?

Show quote history

Not suggesting that men should be allowed into our toilets, but at least in there SOME of our "activities" are carried out within individual cubicles.

JKBlanch · 27/08/2025 13:01

patiently reading the replies

Ereshkigalangcleg · 27/08/2025 13:04

Dawnb19 · 27/08/2025 00:16

I feel horrible saying this but I would have been scared. I'm a very nervous person anyway. If a man is walking behind me on a dog walk I'd be so scared. Maybe it's because I've seen too many episodes of criminal minds. 🤷 I was once followed when I was backpacking around Australia. Two men stopped me and had some sort of cult information booklet. I said I wasn't interested and walked along the path with trees either side heading towards the beach. I walked fast and they followed for about a minute and then luckily I bumped into a couple of dog walkers. They were local and walked with me to my hostel.

While 99.9% of the time It would probably be just a trans woman washing their hands my mind would jump at the worst case scenario.

I remember my criminology tutor telling me she once went swimming and when she was on drying herself she looked down and saw a phone. She shouted and he ran away. H was caught and got a suspended sentence. 🙄 My mind would have went to something like that.

It’s not “horrible”. Men should not be in female only spaces. Any man who disregards that is a red flag. Your instincts protect you, don’t disregard them.

PariahHeep · 27/08/2025 13:18

Your instincts protect you, don’t disregard them.

This. All the 'be kind' shit is to encourage you to disregard what is trying to protect you. There's method in their badness.

Account734 · 27/08/2025 19:40

I would leave immediately and report it to staff. If I didn't fear getting punched in the face I'd confront them.

Account734 · 27/08/2025 19:47

Artmumcreative · 26/08/2025 16:29

I'd imagine it's probably quite dangerous for transwomen to use men's toilets...

Yes, men can be dangerous. Exactly the reason we don't want men in dresses in private female spaces. The rates of sexual offenses of TW in prison is three times higher than men who don't identify. If TW fear for their safety, dress in a gender neutral manner and use the mens. Male violence against males is not a woman's problem to solve. We are not human shields.

ManyShapesOfPasta · 27/08/2025 20:19

PariahHeep · 27/08/2025 13:18

Your instincts protect you, don’t disregard them.

This. All the 'be kind' shit is to encourage you to disregard what is trying to protect you. There's method in their badness.

It makes me absolutely furious that mothers are teaching their daughters to ignore their instincts, it's putting them in harms way.

BeLemonNow · 27/08/2025 20:24

bittertwisted · 27/08/2025 05:45

aside from the trans and toilet situation…..

how DARE you say that about boys. They are not undesirable, and you wouldn’t exist without a penis doing its job

your attitude is saying a penis is disgusting insults every mother of a son

I am embarrassed for you

Show quote history

I'm the original penis mentioner. There's nothing wrong, bad or disgusting about penises, just private. Unfortunately some people are brought up to think this way, I imagine it gets in the way of a healthy sex life (unless lesbian oc).

I have done life drawing, to me penises are a body part. Once a woman walked into the wrong room, saw our naked male model and was so shocked she froze and I had to gently usher her out and chat until she recovered!

That's a perfectly reasonable reaction to seeing a naked man where you expect to see a french conversation class womens only changing room!

ayepecking · 27/08/2025 20:33

Artmumcreative · 26/08/2025 16:29

I'd imagine it's probably quite dangerous for transwomen to use men's toilets...

That is not our (women's problem).

Anthophile · 27/08/2025 21:05

bittertwisted · 27/08/2025 05:45

aside from the trans and toilet situation…..

how DARE you say that about boys. They are not undesirable, and you wouldn’t exist without a penis doing its job

your attitude is saying a penis is disgusting insults every mother of a son

I am embarrassed for you

Show quote history

a penis is disgusting

@NPET didn't call a penis disgusting. You may disagree with her view on penises, or even believe that such a view may be rule-breaking on this board, but you are claiming something that was not claimed.

Someone arguing that something is generally undesirable outside specific circumstances and needs to be heavily restricted is not the same as outright calling it disgusting, especially in the context of this board focused on women's sex-based rights, and by extension discussion on how to reduce the impact penises can have on them.

you wouldn't exist without a penis doing its job

I don't want to be pedantic but that's not entirely correct as it's possible to conceive and birth a baby without involving use of penis, via TESE for instance.

insults every mother of a son

I'm not sure if you're implying that on behalf of her son every mother should or would be insulted by how NPET sees a penis.

NPET · 28/08/2025 00:21

I don't understand how I've suddenly been drawn into this! Personally I like penises - some anyway!

NPET · 28/08/2025 00:33

Oh I see the "how DARE you..." post was presumably meant for me!

lol btw means "laugh out loud"!

ManyShapesOfPasta · 28/08/2025 01:38

Why do you think that happens?
Is it became GC women expect we all follow the stereotypes of long hair, dresses, make up etc, OR is is it because we know men are in our spaces and it's made us hyper vigilant.

feministmom4ever · 28/08/2025 02:14

Not sure, I definitely don’t want my image or name, to appear on any TRA social media posts, and I used to live in fear of this. I’m less fearful now since I’ve realized public opinion is mostly of my side, but I have a young family and wouldn’t want to do anything to put them at risk. Most likely I would act normal then anonymously report it.

ThatBlackCat · 28/08/2025 03:03

Howseitgoin · 28/08/2025 01:13

A Culture of confronting 'suspected' trans people hasn't ended well for CIS people.
https://www.vox.com/2016/5/18/11690234/women-bathrooms-harassment

For the benefit of new readers - This 'link' has already been answered. These are stunts by trans activists. They aren't real. I've seen those kinds of 'links' before since the SC ruling (never before, funny that). And two things; firstly it ignores WHY females are on HIGH ALERT. As I said, it BLAMES women for our natural response. It gaslights us for our reaction and does not understand WHY we are hypervigilant. It is classic VICTIM BLAMING.

Secondly, these sorts of 'stories' have been popping up everywhere suddenly, post SC ruling, in a well coordinated agenda, when the stories didn't exist pre-SC. If you examine the social media of these people coming forward with their 'stories', you will see they have a history of trans activism.
So their 'stories' can be taken with a grain of salt.

What would you actually do if you saw a transperson in the wrong toilet/changing room for their sex? Thread 2
Howseitgoin · 28/08/2025 03:10

"For the benefit of new readers - This 'link' has already been answered. These are stunts by trans activists. They aren't real. I've seen those kinds of 'links' before since the SC ruling (never before, funny that). And two things; firstly it ignores WHY females are on HIGH ALERT. As I said, it BLAMES women for our natural response. It gaslights us for our reaction and does not understand WHY we are hypervigilant. It is classic VICTIM BLAMING.
Secondly, these sorts of 'stories' have been popping up everywhere suddenly, post SC ruling, in a well coordinated agenda, when the stories didn't exist pre-SC. If you examine the social media of these people coming forward with their 'stories', you will see they have a history of trans activism.
So their 'stories' can be taken with a grain of salt."

Uh huh, 'iTs aLL fAkE….

ThatBlackCat · 28/08/2025 03:14

Yes, stunts.

Howseitgoin · 28/08/2025 03:19

"Yes, stunts."

Um, lies kinda don't work when even the establishment confirms the wrong doing

www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/may/06/boston-hotel-bathroom-same-sex-couple

nutmeg7 · 28/08/2025 04:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Namelessnelly · 28/08/2025 05:23

Howseitgoin · 28/08/2025 03:10

"For the benefit of new readers - This 'link' has already been answered. These are stunts by trans activists. They aren't real. I've seen those kinds of 'links' before since the SC ruling (never before, funny that). And two things; firstly it ignores WHY females are on HIGH ALERT. As I said, it BLAMES women for our natural response. It gaslights us for our reaction and does not understand WHY we are hypervigilant. It is classic VICTIM BLAMING.
Secondly, these sorts of 'stories' have been popping up everywhere suddenly, post SC ruling, in a well coordinated agenda, when the stories didn't exist pre-SC. If you examine the social media of these people coming forward with their 'stories', you will see they have a history of trans activism.
So their 'stories' can be taken with a grain of salt."

Uh huh, 'iTs aLL fAkE….

Edited

You’ve told us men can be women. If you’re going to lie about something so basic, why should we believe you on annyling else? Plus you still haven’t explained what benefit women get from allowing men into female spaces. I’m sure you must be able to think of one.