What would you actually do if you saw a transperson in the wrong toilet/changing room for their sex? Thread 2

[FattyMcFattyArse]

Continuing the previous thread because it filled up. Really appreciating all the contributors giving their views, experiences and educating others.

What would YOU do if you came across a male dressed as a woman in a public ladies' loo?

Or indeed a woman presenting as a man in the men's toilets?

Would you confront them? Walk away and say nothing? Report it to staff?

And this is women's problem to solve because..?

I think "transwomen will be attacked in male toilets" is unevidenced scaremongering along the lines of "children will kill themselves if not given puberty blockers".

Just because you keep saying something doesn't make it true.

I don’t mind if you want to make him feel uncomfortable tbh, but if I’m being honest, I wouldn’t say anything.

Yeah. If these men felt unsafe in the men's (and tbh I think that's generally bollocks), the answer isn't 'oh I'll go in the women's then'. No other group of men do this.

It's completely a choice to go into women's spaces where they are not allowed to be. Because they get off on it.

Anyone who doesn't get this is honestly deluded.

(I have listened to too many TIMs at this point to have any doubt on the matter)

This & get myself out of there as quickly as possible. If I hadn’t already been to the toilet, I’d leave and find another one (or wait outside until they’d left).

I would not say anything for fear of reprisals but I would definitely report him. If I was not happy with the reaction from.staff I would escalate to director or CEO. I would not let this go.

Just a thought. Honestly what about reporting it to the police or some authority?Not that they would be expected to drop everything and send a team to investigate or anything like that, but just so UK can start tracking statistics and data on the prevalence of males trespassing into female spaces. If there are certain places where reporting is high perhaps they could receive a citation or something?

At this point a male entering a women's bathroom is a crime, yes? If so, shouldn't they be reported as such even if the perp can't be caught/charged. Isn't this needed for accurate crime statistics?

Maybe I'm wildly off base - discuss.

One experience was walking into a toilet, noticed a person standing at the mirror and immediately knew it was a man dressed as a woman. I froze, didn’t say anything. He turned on me aggressively, yelling, and I ran and locked myself in a cubicle, terrified.

Women matter.

I feel horrible saying this but I would have been scared. I'm a very nervous person anyway. If a man is walking behind me on a dog walk I'd be so scared. Maybe it's because I've seen too many episodes of criminal minds. 🤷 I was once followed when I was backpacking around Australia. Two men stopped me and had some sort of cult information booklet. I said I wasn't interested and walked along the path with trees either side heading towards the beach. I walked fast and they followed for about a minute and then luckily I bumped into a couple of dog walkers. They were local and walked with me to my hostel.

While 99.9% of the time It would probably be just a trans woman washing their hands my mind would jump at the worst case scenario.

I remember my criminology tutor telling me she once went swimming and when she was on drying herself she looked down and saw a phone. She shouted and he ran away. H was caught and got a suspended sentence. 🙄 My mind would have went to something like that.

EXACTLY.
A woman's space is a woman's space.
There have always been men and boys who want to invade it, to know what we "do" in there. And suddenly they're finding they can put on a skirt and come in, and perhaps 50% of the women in there won't say anything!

I really don’t know how I’d react. I’m all for people doing as they please it doesn’t affect me how they live their lives however to be honest if I’m in a female loo or changing room and there’s quite clearly a trans woman there I’d be taken a back I think. I’ve been I company with a couple trans women and genuinely I couldn’t tell they were trans so if they were in there I’d probably not bat an eyelid. However I’ve also witness a ‘trans woman’ somewhere I will not name and quote clearly it was a man who looked like Phil Mitchell in a dress and wig. The person decided they were trans came to this place dressed in I can’t even describe and the worse wig ever and make up on. Genuinely never tried to hide their gender. We had to act normal and respectful. His marriage ended his kids were ridiculed and for what? Cause months later changed his mind back to Phil Mitchell marching about and we were just to forget about it 🤦🏻‍♀️ that I would be fuming if he walked into same loo as me. My work have all inclusive toilets for all genders disabilities etc anyone can use it. Most people use it for a 💩

Id be scared & would report to security straightaway

Absolutely nothing it doesn’t bother me

What are you scared of?!

A male in the women’s toilets

I think I would have to clutch my pearls

Scream 'there is a man in the ladies loo". I have no shame and will make the biggest stink ever. I don't want men no matter how they identify in female places. Period.

But it's ok for women and girls, including rape survivors like me, to feel uncomfortable seeing a male in the ladies, @NormasArse ? But heaven help the men feel bad.... right?

The sooner these men are made to feel uncomfortable in the ladies, the sooner they will stop entering. Why tf should a man get to make women and little girls feel uncomfortable and you applaud that?

Unfortunately some of them actually enjoy women's discomfort.

It's not different. Women are in a state of partial undress in the toilets. Also washing out blood-stained underwear, blouses with baby sick or something else spilled, having a miscarriage, or fleeing to the ladies to escape a man.

How is those stages of vulnerability not the same as changing your clothes in a change room?

Any male in a female only space - and remember, males are the oppressor and predator class, women are the oppressed and vulnerable class - is automatically a creepy predator.

Look at this (it's only a few second clip, and you don't need an X account) and tell me you still think this demonstrably male person should be in the ladies: https://x.com/OliLondonTV/status/1674501004174278656

Ignore, not engage but report incase young female were to be going in alone soon.

@Artmumcreative Why should males get to feel 'safer' at our expense. Females are not human shields for males. Why about my need to 'feel safe' in a female only intimate space? Don't we trauma victims have rights?

Btw, transwomen are very safe in the males, as has been said on here by others the worst they get, by transwomens own admission, is a smirk from other males. This is not and never was about 'safety'. It's about their VALIDATION as a woman, and using women in the space to give them validation.

You didn't answer the question. Is it ok for women and little girls to be made to feel uncomfortable? In a space that is specifically designed and designated to shield them from discomfort from males? Is it ok for a rape survivor like me to be made to feel uncomfortable? At least have some human compassion and decency to answer.

Um, a male in an intimate female only space. Do you genuinely need it explained to you?