M&S apologises over trans employee in bra department (Telegraph)

[WimbledonWhites]

How many “cis” male members of staff do you suppose would approach teenage girls in the lingerie department?
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/08/04/ms-apologises-over-trans-employee-in-bra-department/

https://archive.ph/nTDB9archive.ph/nTDB9

I was explaining a saying that you’d queried.

When good men stay out, bad men stand out.

Good men don’t helpfully offer to assist teens with lingerie shopping. So bad men stand out when they do.

I didn’t say all men in lingerie departments are suspicious, though it does put the other women off their shopping, frankly. I don’t fancy shopping while a guy is browsing the bras wondering which one he’ll fancy her in most.

A lot of us pointed out that we don’t get approached by shop assistants in M&S. I’d say men buying for partners probably are approached as they are more likely to need assistance and the staff probably want to help them to complete their purchase in a timely fashion 😅

I didn't say that the individual would be involved, did I?

A lot of us pointed out that we don’t get approached by shop assistants in M&S. I’d say men buying for partners probably are approached as they are more likely to need assistance and the staff probably want to help them to complete their purchase in a timely fashion 😅

And probably also to discourage any who are just there for perving purposes!

Well said. As so many posters have pointed out, M & S staff do not approach browsing customers asking if they can help. Maybe back in the day but not now. This was a deliberate act targeting a young girl looking at bras.

M & S have been enabling all this for years with their obsession about certain staff "bringing their whole selves to work" rather than offering a safe, customer centred service.

@JeannetteBlue Unfortunately, there are so many dangerous men out there that we have to use the same rule as when handling guns: Always assume that the gun is loaded. People who always assume that the gun is unloaded (because that is the "kind" thing to do) are the ones who cause someone to get hurt.

I’ve been in central London M&S or JL where there’s been a male employee identifying as female in the women’s changing area where the lingerie is. But I can’t remember which store. I think Pantheon M&S, but could have been JL Oxford Circus.

A good friend of mine had exactly this - a male nurse foisted upon her during an intimate procedure when she wasn't in a position to decline (not an emergency situation before anyone starts). Her immediate tension affected her experience of the procedure and she felt really uncomfortable about it for ages afterwards. She felt it should have been raised prior, when she could have made an informed decision.

I can't see the justification myself. It's not like female nurses aren't the majority.

Hi I am. Pete the manly man at M&S i work on the clothing shop floor, and like to be helpful.

Spotted a teenager in the bra section so offered to help her.

Do you think i am weird?

Of course, even the handmaidens agree

if i was wearing a dress and lips that would be different of course…..

M&S need to stop letting down women and girls.

Lipstick

Omg bore off.

The constant anti trans rhetoric on this website is tiresome and obsessively weird.

Isn’t it just incredibly exhausting to be this hateful all the time?

as a mother to three girls (and a trans son, so I’m utterly sick of this shite), I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at them being helped by a trans woman in the lingerie department.

Jesus Christ, people. Focus this insane amount of energy towards ACTUAL problems and see things change!

Career change, Pete?!

Just a general question.

So, ideologically, a male transgender staff member cannot be treated as if they were not female. Even the very act of pointing out to that male staff member that they have limits on who they can and cannot approach on the sales floor is, to them, discrimination.

And now with the SC judgement, any changes to one of these members of staff’s roles could mean the retailer could be before a tribunal.

What a mess! We warned so many ‘diversity champions’ retailers that there were significant issues in prioritising gender over sex when sex mattered. Will this mean that the retailers will now have to start demanding that any person who has a transgender identity who works for them has to acknowledge their status?

Buying a bra is always about a bra fitting.

Even with the same design cutting and stiching can make a difference.

Each breast will be a different shape and the bra type and reason for purchase all result in the assistant needing to understand (by looking) the customers body shape and the range of product.

I was in an M+S in the North East yesterday - in the lingerie changing room there was a man sitting on a chair just inside the entrance. I assume he was with someone who was trying on bras.

It made me uncomfortable, and made me wonder about both M+S and the man. Surely most men wouldn't want to sit at the entrance to a women's lingerie changing room, and surely M+S should realise it's not ideal?

not every trans person is a pervert

No, but every transwoman is a man, and if you deal with horses as your username suggests, I know you know the difference between male and female. Perhaps in humans you demonstrate this knowledge by indicating which people you think should be "non judgemental" to which other people in changing rooms.

As an aside, why do you guys always assume we have never worked alongside or met trans people? I have as well and it was painfully apparent which sex they were. A man doesn't belong in a female space, it doesn't matter how nice he is. It's not a space for women and nice men, and no nice man would demand it.

It’s bollocks like this that is the problem. Making ridiculous comparisons.

Unless this nurse stopped your daughter in the corridor and asked her if he help her and he wasn’t really even a nurse at all, he was a man who works in a shop of course.

Certainly not always! I dare say many of us just take one that looks right, and pay. I’ve bought masses of bras from M&S and I’ve never once had a fitting.

Presumably this is why MS employ TIM in their lingerie dept so that can advise other TIM about which knickers have a good fit.

Though I can see that raising other issues “ Why should I need your help, can’t you see that I am a woman, dressed like a woman, wearing makeup and looking brave and beautiful, and I demand a female assistant to help me , just like any other woman.”

I understand. You have no boundaries for yourself and you expect others to lower theirs to be as non-existent as yours.

Many people, male and female would feel uncomfortable being approached in a clothing department by someone of the opposite sex to discuss clothes for their sexed body. (I expect many male people would feel uncomfortable discussing underpants with a female member of staff while trying to make a decision about their purchase).

“Isn’t it just incredibly exhausting to be this hateful all the time?”

So safeguarding is exhausting and hateful in your view.

Good to know.

He wasn’t purporting to be female though, and nursing is a completely different occupation.

So how far do you trust men?

If your 4 girls ended up in prison do you want all 4 in a womans prison or do you want the State to send one off to a mens prison?

Who is the woke weirdo in HR allowing this?

This!!