M&S apologises over trans employee in bra department (Telegraph)

[WimbledonWhites]

How many “cis” male members of staff do you suppose would approach teenage girls in the lingerie department?
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/08/04/ms-apologises-over-trans-employee-in-bra-department/

https://archive.ph/nTDB9archive.ph/nTDB9

The problem with men abusing girls is that the girls are never believed unless there is obvious physical evidence. Excuses are always made for the men. He is a pillar of the community. He goes to church. He enjoys working in a shop and was only trying to help. But in the meanwhile, there are signs, looks, incidents which are evident to girls and girls then speak up and are told their voice doesn’t matter, doesn’t count and they are being unreasonable.

Beggars belief!

Never saw that one, but there was definitely a middle aged trans identifying man working in womenswear in the Bradford Broadway branch before it closed. I saw him a couple of times in his wig and thick make up chatting to the other women staff in there. Never saw him on lingerie, but one glance was enough for me to think FFS.

Same! Including when I’m rummaging through rails of bras, since they never have my size…

@Booksandsea
You are being ignorant with your language as you know that a male person is either described by his name or by a sexed pronoun.

You control what you type so you are choosing to not use the words he or him.

If you have a girl who is being sexually abused in school go in and inform the HT of the sexual activity and that you will be making a police report of non-contact child sex abuse about them in regards to both your child and the boy in question

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/section/17

I’m in my 50s and I don’t think I’ve ever been approached in M&S, in fact it’s hard to find a member of staff on the floor (unless it’s food).

I can’t believe there are people who think the fact he went out of his way, to a department he wasn’t working in, to speak to a teenager in the lingerie department is okay.
Even if he wasn’t a creep he should be way more self aware. I’d be looking at the cctv and see which other customers in other departments he was approaching.

I am so sick of this shit. It’s been going on for far too long now. It has to end. These men are so entitled and it’s so wrong. It’s not our fault they’re deluded. Don’t get me started on that Himdia Willoughby 🤬

So no male can shop for a wife/partner for nice lingerie, without them being perceived as a deviant? Oh Shit😮, I never knew this "rule," nor does my dp. I better let him know.
Thanks

He wasn't a man asking an assistant for advice for a purchase for partner.
He wanted access to a child's body.
There's a clear difference.

But he wasn't with a wife or partner was he?? it's obvious when men are with their wives or partners

or - as someone who has worked in a lingerie dept when they're in there shopping for a present - because they tend to look confused and ask for help

we also could tell the "knicker feelers" who would siddle in and spend a lot of time trying to hide between the racks as they fondled the underwear.

I'm always amazed at the lengths ppl will go to pretend we can't tell when a bloke is clearly on the perv whether he's dressed in a skirt or not

A man dressed up in woman’s clothing…
Approaching a child to talk about underwear / breasts etc…

that is as big a safeguarding red flag as you could imagine.

I would be asking M&S for their safeguarding policy and or reporting that to the police…

It is so far from acceptable that it should be dealt with…

It would be less of an issue if it were a man dressed as a man just offering to find stock etc because the way he dresses sets the expectation of the conversation… a man dressed as a woman clearly sets out an expectation of having a more intimate conversation (as ‘women’ together) which is totally inappropriate.

I'm not defending it but from the information given, "he wanted access to a child's body" is an exaggeration. He didn't work in bra fitting and presumably wasn't offering to fit a bra.

I think approaching the girl at all was inappropriate (and like others I've never once been approached by a member of staff in M&S!) but there's no reason to treat it as an attempted sexual assault.

To be honest I really dont like any men being in the lingerie dept or my M&s with or without their partners or wives.

They look uncomfortable... I feel uncomfortable... I probably won't buy anything and leave.... its just cringe.

Sorry I feel like this but I do.

Has your husband never gone with you to a women’s clothes shop, or even (shock horror) gone by himself to buy you a gift? I don’t think this person should have been placed in that department, but ALL people are allowed to “roam” in clothing stores. It would be absolutely insane to have a bouncer on the women’s section to ensure only cis women can enter. In my local M&S there is one fitting room area for men, women and lingerie and this is quite common in lots of smaller shops.

The reply is surprisingly positive by M&S standards. Albeit it was technically a public area, its just common sense.

My initial reaction was the issue is the MALE member of staff not "transgender", though you do wonder if a masculine looking transman would get the same reaction. The SC ruling did acknowledge trans people can equally have issues not faced by those of their biological sex.

Do you often struggle with reading comprehension?

The complaint response from M&S doesn't suggest this. They have offered no extenuating explanation at all. I find this very surprising because they must have predicted this would hit the media, and if there was any possible reasonable explanation that portrayed their employee as innocently doing their job, and the customer 'misunderstanding' or 'discriminating' they'd have made it. I'd have expected either the sort of explanation you suggest, or a robust defence of the TWs suitability to do this work, yet they send this wishy washy acknowledgement the service fell short, with no explanation as to why, suggesting there isn't a good one.

Whilst I agree that it is totally inappropriate for a biological male to be “assisting” teenagers purchasing bras, I am wondering about employment discrimination laws, and if/how employers like Bravissimo get around it.

If he is in the habit of walking up to young girls to offer fashion advice on their underwear while you are shopping for nice lingerie I think you could think about circumstance and just maybe 🦧 .....
well...
( it is an acceptable reason)....
...
LTB 😬

Abigail Shrier mentioned an incident like this in Irreversible Damage, didn't she? And I think the employee tried to actually do the bloody bra fitting. Luckily the mother twigged before it got that far. If a teenage girl was by herself, she might not feel able to object even if she was uncomfortable. Of all the places they shouldn't fucking be!

They weren't a fitter, so the issue of touching didn't arise. Bit I agree the approach was inappropriate.

IMO this sort of incident shows just how effective the bullying and brainwashing of big business by Stonewall has been. It has driven normal sensibilities and common sense out of the window.

Is there a difference?

Well for a start a male nurse will have gone through DBS checks and safeguarding training...

And yes I would argue that's possibly inappropriate too, if she was alone or didn't feel able to object.

The fact you think the situation is comparable is alarming in its own right.

I am sure every single one of us has been served by a male in a clothing store - have you got this in a 14? Can I pay at this till?

The fact that this mother complained and the shop have responded in the way they have suggests that the ‘help’ offered by the employee here went beyond a normal interaction between male workers and female customers.

It's really not difficult to tell.