The Bluestocking - holding the line and losing the thread

[lcakethereforeIam]

All women welcome, pull up a pygmy hog, the bargerbil will serve you a drink, the flying squirrels will bring you something to read and the goats will do...I'm not entirely sure.

There may be more than the usual amount of chaos as we transition to the new thread.

When I originally broke my leg, I tried the stairs at our old house with crutches, but I didn’t have enough of a bannister to do it safely, so my physiotherapist taught me the bum shuffle.

It’s even more difficult in this house because we have a spiral staircase. The handrails are very awkward and mostly slanted vertically. My DM came to stay at Christmas and struggled going up and downstairs, and has refused to stay over again.

I had a knee scooter before but couldn’t get used to it. I can hire a wheelchair from the Red Cross, but to be honest, I don’t go out much anyway. We have agreed to see how the first two weeks go and then see what I might need.

In our house, we have a living room, our bedroom and en-suite all on the first floor, so I will mostly be there and DH will bring meals and make tea (I have a kettle up here). It should be fine and I will only need the stairs if I’m going out. DH has an office and the dining room and kitchen downstairs.

Operation is on the 12th August, so just a week to go.

*Asa in my original post was supposed to be Saturday (obviously).

I realised I didn’t make it clear that I will be bum shuffling up and down stairs as needed.

Ah yeah. I have done a bit of a bum shuffle routine. You seem very prepared! I will keep my fingers crossed for you. 🤞🤞Or you know the Lemon equivalent not sure what that would be.

Nooooooo...not a mobility scooter.
< Runs and hides>

And there was me, thinking that Asa was some beautiful Hebridean island that I'd not heard of...

Good luck with the cast and spiral stairs. My DM had to sleep downstairs when she broke her leg (NOT on our deadly spiral stairs).

Good luck for the OP. Will you be wanting a guard of gerbils marching fore and aft to see you into hospital in suitable state?

😂I used to live near a pub that had drunk OAPs on mobility scooters. Now that's dangerous!

Very difficult few days, so haven’t been able to make it.
Here now, with gin (thanks, gerbils).

Gosh, Myrtle. Last time I saw you (at the karaoke) you were in your tiny black mini skirt, belting out something or other on the stage like Tina Turner. Now you are meticulously planning your bum shuffles up and down the stairs and wondering about a mobility scooter. I like how we can do the full range.

Hello, Swashy. I hope the gin was one you would have chosen, rather than whatever the enthusiastic bar-tender grabbed first...

I was thinking of you earlier, as I surveyed my knitting and wondered how on earth various mis-sized squares are matched up to the perfect ones when Woolly Hugs are being assembled.

Here's hoping the galleon DIY is going well. Sorry I didn't turn up to paint yesterday or today. Visiting ILs yesterday, long list of chores and errands today.

A friend of ours is a well known decrepit (his word) pisshead (not his word, but true). I should think anyone who sees him approaching on his mobility scooter takes immediate evasive action.

I slept downstairs on a very long sofa in our last house for about three weeks, but our bedroom was up two flights of stairs. I eventually moved to the spare room on the next flight up, but I had to wait until I was in a walking boot before going back to our bedroom.

We are doing more planning for this, as it was really hard last time. I am very much a planner and it’s likely I’ll sleep on our reclining sofa for the first week. I’ve even worked out we need to prop open the doors to the living room and bedroom so I can move easily between them, as well as taking up the bath mats, so I won’t slip on them with crutches.

In the last house, the downstairs loo was tiny, so I could lean on doors and walls on all sides so there was no way I would fall. The en-suite is larger and I’ve been trying to work out how I will manage teeth brushing etc without falling over.

I didn’t know that I could ask for a guard of gerbils marching fore and aft to see me into hospital in suitable state. I would very much love that, if they’re not busy. It might also be helpful to have them running round doing errands, like making tea, and picking up balls of wool that have fallen on the floor where I can’t reach them.

I would love to ensconce myself in the Bluestocking for the full 8 or more weeks (time yet to be determined, despite calls and emails to the surgeon - so rude and unprofessional not to respond). The gerbils would be a great help, particularly at thread moving time, as I am likely to be slow.

Oh it was me mentioning mobility scooters! Anyone can break a leg or need surgery, age is no barrier to scooting!

R.e. bathrooms @MyrtleLion grab rails would be a godsend on crutches. I remember getting off a cafe loo seat and it was so much easier with two grab bars. You can get stick on ones, I don't know if they are any good compared to fixed though.

A man who lived near where I used to live had a number plate in his scooter that said BUM 2 U. I think he was annoyed by folk shouting at him.

Hi Swashy! It’s lovely to see you here 💙💙💙

I’m letting my hair down a bit before surgery, because life will be very dull for a couple of months with my leg in a cast, stuck on the first floor. I wonder if I should become a bit of a curmudgeon waving my crutch around at the young whippersnappers who have the audacity to be young and whippersnappery.

Such a good idea!

I have a heated towel rail to the right, but a curved shower cubicle door to my left that moves if you just look at it funny, so probably very difficult to stick on a rail. I think I will lever myself up on the towel rail, then grab a crutch in the other hand. I’m thinking about putting the toothbrush and paste on top of the cistern so I can sit and do my teeth. (No, not at the same time!)

Hopefully I will get a shower stool as well, so I might hobble to the sink and sit there to wash and teeth etc.

I like the idea of you surveying your knitting, Errol. Sounds like you have acres of it.

Thank you. I do feel the gerbils are developing a sensitivity to the kind of gin I like. There was a little glance of recognition as I sat at the bar, and then a tilt towards me of a bottle they were suggesting. I think they must have been doing some sort of NVQ in it. That, or I am becoming more easily pleased.

Please don’t worry about the galleon renovations. I missed a few days myself but did go today. Having said that, you will be welcome any time that suits you. I have tools, just turn up.

VERY windy here.

I was referring to the weather, just to be clear….

Of course you were, Swashy...

I did briefly wonder if 'sit and do my teeth' was a typo 😃

If it's okay @MyrtleLion all this talk of spiral staircases, i think you live in a lighthouse.

Windy here, even though we are darn sarf.

It woukd have been a good laundry day, but for the internittent rain.

I'm sorry you've not been up to galleoning. Some days are just a bit shit, but they pass.

I was very worried about you and those stairs, Myrtle, until I read that you have a self-contained area upstairs and will only have to do that tricky ascent/descent occasionally.
Have you had a browse on one of those mobility websites for things like frames you can put temporarily around the toilet ? Not the most exciting online shopping, but..😒 You probably have, it sounds like you've been doing lots of planning and prep, which is great.
And of course there's a team of gerbils and quokkas and capybaras etc ready to lend a hand
edited to ad that temp hand rails for the shower that are fixed by suction hold perfectly well, though I admit took some convincing, it seemed unlikely, but they have very powerful suction pads.

It’s Edith who is surveying her knitting, I’ve just been watching the crafty women in awe!

Sorry you have had some difficult times since we saw you last Swash.
It's not linear, is it?
Like navigating stormy seas in a galleon, I suppose, you don't sail in a straight line, but you reach your destination anyway - the proof of your navigational skills is that you're here with us, safe ashore, amongst friends, and being served gin by highly-trained bar-gerbils

This is the en-suite - in desperate need of renovation as it's 30 years old: as old as the house. The shower door to the left of the loo, swings inward at the slightest touch, so I don't think a grab rail would work.

However, it hadn't occurred to me that I could browse mobility websites for aids to help out. I think it's because it's a temporary situation. Also, when I tried to return the crutches and shower stool I had when I broke my leg, they refused. Apparently it's not cost effective to retest and completely disinfect mobility aids, as it's cheaper to get new ones. 😮

Many thanks for the suggestion, I will take a look tomorrow.

Ssh, cake, you'll out me!!!

And all the gerbils will want to come and play, and it will play havoc with the light...

Until recently i coordinated volunteers annually at a music festival and was confronted with the concept that we were obliged to load and unload peoples scooters from their vans as an equality duty.

bearing in mind we were not for profit.

still bothers me

Good to read that you are here, Swashy. I hope the next few days are much less difficult.

@MyrtleLion , that picture of your shower takes me back many years, when I broke a bone in my foot and was in plaster to my knee. Our shower had a step like that one. I remember kneeling outside it and leaning in to wash my hair. I can't remember how I kept the rest of me clean, possibly a flannel wash every morning.

The physio taught me how to manage stairs when I was non weight bearing. It definitely involved a banister. I remember it particularly because my office was up a few stairs with no handrail (beautiful old building) so I had to be moved to the only non-specialist room on the site which was on the ground floor.

A colleague lent me her kit for such occasions: all I can remember is a small folding stool which went over my arm, so I never needed to stand for long, and a beaker with a screw top so I could make myself a drink when I was at home alone and not spill it on the way back from the kitchen. In these days of travel mugs you probably have one of those already.

We did hire a wheelchair from the Red Cross, but I only used it once when I very much wanted to go to a particular event.

Even now I have a stool in front of the bathroom sink. It was advised as part of my long Covid recovery, on the principle of saving my energy as much as possible.

Like you, as I expect this situation to be temporary so didn't consider a mobility scooter. However, there's a scheme in the big car park in my town where you can park for 2 or 3 hours and borrow one of their mobility scooters to get around the town centre. It's all free, no Blue Badge necessary. I've only done it once, just to try it out, but it's good to know it's available. I was quite hesitant with it but I saw a couple of women going really fast on theirs. Perhaps there's a similar system near where you live?