Living as a woman

[MissScarletInTheBallroom]

This is a thread for people to give examples of experiences which constitute "living as a woman".

I'll go first.

Peeing on a pregnant test and waiting anxiously to see whether a second line appears.

I'm so sorry. No one should have to experience that.

Being constantly groped at work and complaining to my manager who just said it's part of the job (no i didn't do sex work) I walked out there and then.

Being raped by my husband only it wasn't rape as it was legal at that point.

I will see you this particularly awful experience and raise you the first breast feed after the lancing of the abcess where I realise that milk doesn't just come out of your nipple but other ducts which, there being a gaping hole in your boob, dumps bloody milk on your baby's face at first let down.

I screamed and panicked. Ds got a bottle of formula that night.

Mastitis was a real low.

Peri-menopausal flooding when you work full time in a large open plan office and the office chairs are cream coloured faux leather.

not leaving the house alone after dark.

Having your body decide to push a baby out when your cervix is not yet fully dilated, then shitting yourself on the trolley in the hallway when being urgently moved to the labour ward.

Everything I knew about an awful situation me and my then dh were experiencing being dismissed by others as "Naive and gullible" and "Okies silly way of organising things"

Having chronic, debilitating anaemia that only marginally responds to supplements and being repeatedly told it’s because… periods. Period. No funding to check for internal bleeding, no research on other possible causes.

Putting on a stone because I was scared to walk in my neighbourhood for several months when young women were being randomly attacked by a man who hadn't been caught, and driving everywhere as a consequence.

I know we miss the laughing react emoji but on threads like this I wish there was a sad one too. So sorry for the shit pps have been through.

i think the point is being a woman has its very shit moments but joys of things like motherhood too

Being a grandmother

Fibroids
a colposcopy
episiotomy and 64 stitches
being verbally harassed, followed and leered at while jogging ( or just existing in public)

Being asked if I had ever had a pregnancy at an interview for Naval Engineering college, relevant how? Also being asked by same panel if I would not prefer to wear my nice suit rather than the boiler suit I was wearing when I was leading activities that morning. 1990s.

Being hospitalised because you can’t eat or drink anything having been puking non-stop due to hyperemesis (extreme pregnancy sickness) and somehow, feeling pretty lucky about that because if you’d been born a hundred years earlier, you’d have just died of it.

Being asked at recruitment if I was pregnant because I pointed out there was no mention of maternity leave or pension contributions in the contract.

Being told by my boss that I should wear a body con dress. I was a teacher. I said no.

Getting sexually harassed at 13 on Halloween in the local shop. I had dressed up as a zombie school girl (in our normal school uniform just with ‘scary’ makeup and hair). We wanted to go trick or treating.

Running home to tell my dad to call the police about the creep and being told that it’s to be expected now I’m getting older/turning into a lady and that the police won’t do anything.

Being rubbed up against and touched up in crowded places.

Having the car dealership owner explain to my husband details of my new car, I was there to pick up, the car I chose and paid for .

As a 11yo schoolgirl, waiting at the bus stop, being groped by an older male pupil while other waiting adult passengers just looked on passively.

As an older teen, being groped by an older boy in a lift, while other adult passengers just looked on passively.

As a late teen, on my way to post the paperwork to register my father’s death, being told to ‘give us a fucking smile luv’ by a builder.

As a student, being spiked by one of a group of males. Luckily my female housemates saw and protected me.

As a young woman, being told my crippling abdomen pains were all in my head and the flooding was normal and it was probably a heavy period and cramps. Actually they were multiple rupturing ovarian cysts.

Having my breasts squashed and manipulated for a mammogram to investigate suspected tumours.

Having people peering into and scraping my cervix more times than I can remember.

As a first time mum, pushing my new baby in a pram, body battered and bruised and stitched and bleeding, being catcalled by various men in cars and vans.

As a mid 40s single mum now, feeling men’s eyes on me wherever I go, whether dressed up or dressed down, never feeling safe and always knowing someone somewhere thinks that my body is not my own but is on display as a commodity for them to judge and/or comment on with zero consequences.

Being on edge/heightened sense of awareness walking home when dark, more so if a man/men is/are in the vicinity. Less so if a woman is.

But a good one too - the sheer euphoria and sense of power of having birthed a baby, and the absolute awe of looking at them and realising your body literally made every part of them. 🥹

Hearing my grandmother say my 11 year old sister wasn't a proper virgin because she needed a tampon.

Walking sodding miles with SPD to try to induce labour.

Eta stupidly feeling I'd failed because I needed a caesarean.

Injecting your own stomach several times a day to generate dozens of eggs for ivf.

(I wish I got to orgasm into a cup instead lol)

Suffering hyper vigilance due to csa