Living as a woman

[MissScarletInTheBallroom]

This is a thread for people to give examples of experiences which constitute "living as a woman".

I'll go first.

Peeing on a pregnant test and waiting anxiously to see whether a second line appears.

Women are just amazing, I’m so happy to be one, even given all the shit we have to put up with, we really are the best humans.

Miscarriage during the time i was telling my boss i was pregnant (he and the company were utterly lovely about it)

Being fired (not from that job) because i was pregnant - then being shouted at in the unemployment office that i was a liar because it's illegal to fire pregnant women

Being talked about, talked over, and not consulted at all during several examinations during pregnancy

Ovarian cysts - agony

unwanted attention as a younger woman

being invisible once i hit 50

Being told "the one with the tits makes the tea" and being paid less than the blokes, when we all did the exact same job. Being told that they were only joking and loved me when I told them to get stuffed. Being chased round the office in the middle of the night by an over amorous lorry driver, who "just wanted a little kiss" and being genuinely terrified as there was noone nearby. Being asked if I wanted forceps or a CS after a long labour when giving birth and then nearly dying in the process. Being seen as flakey at work when i had to collect dd from nursery (too often in the first year) - even though i ended up working into the night to make up the workload.

Who is making fun of others on this thread, @user1471453601? People are simply sharing the experiences that constitute ‘living as a woman’.

Is it our fault if none of these experiences are available to male individuals? Are we responsible for the biological facts that mean some experiences are only had by women - adult, human females?

In my opinion, males who say they are ‘living as a woman’ are simply enacting their stereotyped opinions of femininity. They can no more say ’I know how it feels to be a woman’ than I can say ‘I know how it feels to be a cat’!

Wtf are you taking about?!

That must have been horrendous.

Many years ago me and my mates on a session musing over what it would be like to have a penis for a day and what we might do with it, died laughing.

sit with my feet in stirrups while a very deft nurse rummaged around inside me to find my lost coil.

Having a new coil put in.

I'm forty eight fucking years old, but still having to think about pregnancy

forgot sitting in a hip bath with brown tepid water to sooth my stitches post childbirth (camomile bath)

with an ice pack on my head because of raging headache and fever caused by mastitis

while sitting in this bath, with the ice pack, with quark slathered on my breasts to reduce the heat/swelling (German midwives have the best cures)

And then for a week having cooled cabbage leaves in my bra (to cure the mastitis)

To be fair: the mastitis cures worked quickly

Ah yes frozen cabbage leaves….

Sitting on the toilet crying at my period coming during our years of trying to conceive. Having that tiny bit of hope that this time it might have worked be extinguished.

Becoming obsessed over cervical mucus, temperature, stages of ovulation, the right time to have sex, reading studies and articles, running to get my weight down and having an inspiration song to listen to when I ran which still makes me cry now.

smelling like maple syrup for weeks because I was taking enormous quantities of fenugreek to try to boost my milk production

feeling like the worlds worst failure when I finally switched to formula

Sorry: but a TW on this one.

Carrying a baby for 6 months, only to go into labour prematurely and then having to give birth naturally to a baby that was no longer alive.

Was it just me who felt like my body had been infiltrated by an alien parasite? 😂

There are so many heartbreaking posts on this thread - love to you all

Having a period every month since you were 11 and just having to get on with things

Having men talk to your boobs

Not being taken seriously in a STEM field because you were too young and pretty, then because you’re a mum, then because you’re too old and invisible

Having your bum groped in a busy nightclub

Being careful where you walk when it’s dark, crossing the road to the side that has street lights, taking the long way around

Seeing a physio because your SPD never went away after giving birth and being told “well you’re in your 40s now, these are the sort of things we put up with as we get older”

Good stuff about living as a woman:

• Feeling my daughter move when I was pregnant.
• The feeling of achievement from breastfeeding for 3.5 years.
• PIV sex (when it's done well)
• Orgasms
• Intense feeling of empowerment on becoming a mother after giving birth.
• The protective, loving and 'hard truths' sisterhood of Mumsnet

Bad stuff:

• Period pain
• Ovulation pain
• Breastfeeding pain
• PIV sex (when it's done badly)
• Being 17 and told by one of the male co-workers at my first job that the other lads (AND 50 year old manager) had all discussed how great my boobs were - framed as a compliment.
• Lots more but I like to dwell on the positive ;)

For me it's the constant fucking rage I feel at the misogyny that is literally everywhere. I'd love to be blind to it in the same way men are, especially the men who are the ones dishing it out. But no, I can't not see it, and I can't not feel outraged about it.

On the plus side, "living as a" woman also means "living as a" lesbian with a wonderful wife, and "living as a" mother with a wonderful daughter. I'll take the periods and the rage for those two.

I had to do it twice as well! But only because the first time I went ballistic and refused to let them finish and complained to the head of the department that they were out of their fucking minds thinking it was OK to try and do that to me with my history and no pain relief (the nurses in the room all admitted, once the woman doing it had left, that they would never have it done while conscious).

The second time I was blissfully unconscious thanks to a general anaesthetic.

Women: don't let any medical professional tell you a hysteroscopy isn't painful for most women. It is very very painful for a good majority.

Definitely not just you! I was happy whenever my baby moved because I knew she was still alive, but I actually didn't like the feeling at all!

Menopause.
Cleaning
Making sure everyone has clean clothes and knowing exactly where each item of said clothing is at all times. Let’s see a man do that

Being in a woman’s refuge for domestic violence.

Ffs 🤦🏻‍♀️

Going for an ultrasound to be told I have cysts on my ovaries. Having gone 47 days without a period, only to get it during the night and I’ve stained my PJs. Having to go to Tesco after work to buy more sanitary pads.

Being made redundant while on maternity leave

Being asked by a (male) gynaecologist what my job was before he asked a nurse to check the ward for a new coil when I was an outpatient having a lost mirena coil removed. Left with the distinct impression that there could have been ‘wrong’ answers for which no new coil would have been found