Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Daughter (ftm) has just come out as trans

79 replies

TheMask · 16/06/2025 09:06

Hi all,

I know there are quite a few threads with some parents going through the same thing as me, but I really need some guidance and advice.
Bit of background before we begin : DD is 17 (18 in a couple of months) She has a diagnosis of ASD, severe anxiety disorder is waiting for a referral for an ADHD assessment.
She has been in a relationship with her boyfriend since she was 14. Seemed extremely happy together, he’s been on holidays with us, is basically part of our family at this point. They even booked their first solo trip away together 2 months ago for this coming December. Had countless future plans together. DD has been attending college (signed off last week) she has had her struggles but absolutely smashed it and was planning to get a job (within the childcare setting) once she turned 18.
Then comes the bombshell last week. She has a best friend who is also trans (previously ftm and has recently now said they are asexual?) and another friend who is ftm trans. Other than that, no other social circles.
She asked me to affirm her gender identity and choose a name for her. I chose something gender neutral and her Dad and I said we would refer to her has “he.” But I cannot get my head around this. Something is not right. How do I go about this in a way where I don’t let me emotions get the better of me? I’ve had a look at the Bayswater and transgender trend websites, I just feel so confused and lost right now.

OP posts:
TwoLoonsAndASprout · 20/06/2025 07:25

ChirpyFinch · 20/06/2025 07:24

First of all, congratulations on having built an environment for your son where he’s comfortable enough not just to tell you but to also ask you to pick a name - that’s a hugely significant thing that’s happened and you should be proud.

Second of all, a super good early resource is something like the Trevor Project https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/guide/the-coming-out-handbook/ that has a ton of links for family support of trans kids.

RTFT

outofdate · 20/06/2025 07:56

@ChirpyFinch
You’re just a bit late to the party dear. The OPs daughter has started to detransition as have most of the girls at my daughter’s school who have been swept up in this cult.

ChirpyFinch · 20/06/2025 14:30

outofdate · 20/06/2025 07:56

@ChirpyFinch
You’re just a bit late to the party dear. The OPs daughter has started to detransition as have most of the girls at my daughter’s school who have been swept up in this cult.

Ok good for you I guess? The point was to say that OP did a great job to create an environment in which their child can talk to them about their gender identity. I have no idea why that’s a bad thing nor why I should care if they or any of the girls at your daughter’s school are detransitioning.

Ddakji · 20/06/2025 15:19

ChirpyFinch · 20/06/2025 14:30

Ok good for you I guess? The point was to say that OP did a great job to create an environment in which their child can talk to them about their gender identity. I have no idea why that’s a bad thing nor why I should care if they or any of the girls at your daughter’s school are detransitioning.

You should absolute care about detransitioning, especially if that’s happened once it’s become medical.

These girls (mainly) have been sold a lie by people like you.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page