The Bluestocking - where the laugh emoji is sorely missed.

[MyrtleLion]

Welcome to the Bluestocking Arms!

The company is always sparkling, the drinks are always sublime, and the cakes are mysteriously free from gluten, sugar, calories, and troublesome booze… not that you’d ever notice. 😏

Our enthusiastic team of gerbil waitstaff is ably supported by capybaras, quokkas, and other charming creatures who excel at their jobs while looking outrageously adorable.

You will find many things to laugh at - usually out loud - so take care not to spit out your tea. We are considering a petition for the return of the laugh emoji - just as soon as the AI gerbils learn how to spell.

New Bluestockingers are always welcome. Men can pop along to The Staunch Ally nearby.

Currently also knitting a Woolly Hug blanket for Bluestockinger Swashbuckled. Details here if you can knit or crochet a square before the 18 July.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5350941-woolly-hugs-desperately-sad-news-we-are-afraid-making-a-blanket-for-lovely-swashbuckled-whose-son-has-tragically-died

Why is Android hiding behind the door?

She's just coming in to check that the new wallpaper has been put up properly by the long suffering Quokkas. They were all for painting the walls purple and green, which might have put people off their drinks

That is spooky, @DeanElderberry - I was thinking about that book only last week - I don’t remember the waitress called Gretel, but do remember the businessman with the wonderful name Ongar Manganian.

Autocarrot wanted to replace Ongar with Ontario. Essex will be up in arms.

OMG yes! King Lear will never be the same again - Regan, Cordelia and Goneril the Gerbil😄

Regan the Red Panda (or more likely Regan the Rodent or Regan the Rat), Cordelia the Capybara ...

Ongar Manganian is currently holding a cheese wire garotte around the narrator's throat (while wondering at how cheap it is to buy such things in England). It's only half way through the book, so I presume he's going to stop soon.

So King Lear is the next Bluestocking play then?

Gosie and Gwenda are fuming about Rosie getting the part of Regan

The poor little things are so upset. Banned is trying to console them

A Tunnock's teacake solves all problems

😢😂

I whispered nothing will come of nothing, as well as a teacake seemed to do the trick

they have been offered roles as trees and a thunderclap.

😂😂😂
Edited to add more 😂😂😂for the parts in Lear.

We need more tea cakes as a matter of urgency

Oh no, Gosie and Gwenda's experience reminds me of being 12 years old and failing to get the part of Alice in "Alice in Wonderland". It went to a girl with long blonde hair, although our acting skills were equal.

I was offered the "4 of Spades" instead. With one line.

Talent counts for nothing, looks are all.

Waaaaaahhhhhh....send Tunnocks!

I'm going to admit to something very shameful here - lots of what I know about 19th century history comes from the Flashman novels. Which are very unfeminist, I know, but they're very entertaining, full of historical detail in the footnotes that's worth following up, and the antihero is never portrayed as anything other than a priapic sexist git.

So I haven't read them for years, but I've been thinking about revisiting Flashman's Lady, which adds to the comedy by having Flashy's wife Elspeth along for the adventure, with extracts from her diaries suggesting she's not quite as innocent as she seems...

And then I remembered the conceit of that novel is that it's edited by Elspeth's sister Grizel, who interjects her own pithy comments about her sister's shameless behaviour...

And now I'm wondering if I can picture Grizel as anything other than an angry Presbyterian gerbil munching on a Tunnocks as she vents her grievances.

I'm sure Alice truly wanted to be the 4 of spades!

(Turns out AI needs playing card practice)

"And now I'm wondering if I can picture Grizel as anything other than an angry Presbyterian gerbil munching on a Tunnocks as she vents her grievances"

@SionnachRuadh 😁

Ha ha Boily. This is exactly right! 😂😂😂

I only once got past an angel in the nativity, a shepherd was ill so i stepped up as a bespectacled one and got a line to boot

I once got to be an innkeeper in the nativity, and that's as high as I ever rose.

I was going to say the other day before I confused MNHQ, I discovered that I have a family connection to the Crotty Schism, which is one of those strange little byways of Irish religious history that's forgotten now except maybe in Offaly.

So I have a hereditary affinity to the Dissenters on a few different lines.

Oh don't talk nativities...I desperately wanted to be an angel (I grew my hair for two years in anticipation of a tinsel halo and a white frock) and was given the part of narrator in my school uniform.

And latterly I failed to get the part of Pitti Sing in the Mikado. As I was " too tall". I railed at this, saying " You've known me for the 16 years I've been in this company, and I've always been this height!".

I'm never going to be a successful thespian!

( It's OK, I'm over it all now)

More stickers for the gerbils?

Also does Rosy do the morning wake up calls? I read a news story this week about a hotel in China taking red pandas to guests' rooms in the morning and although I can see it's wrong and bad I'm a bit obsessed with red pandas so...

I think Rosy would wake you up with a gentle, furry hug. Not accompanied by any Chinese hotel workers.

My DC were both angels in their school nativities. Not through any hard work on their part; it was always the blond/e kids who got cast as angels. I have always been very dark haired, so while I was of course very proud of my children, I found the blatant typecasting more than a little annoying.