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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The Bluestocking - where the laugh emoji is sorely missed.

1000 replies

MyrtleLion · 13/06/2025 18:35

Welcome to the Bluestocking Arms!

The company is always sparkling, the drinks are always sublime, and the cakes are mysteriously free from gluten, sugar, calories, and troublesome booze… not that you’d ever notice. 😏

Our enthusiastic team of gerbil waitstaff is ably supported by capybaras, quokkas, and other charming creatures who excel at their jobs while looking outrageously adorable.

You will find many things to laugh at - usually out loud - so take care not to spit out your tea. We are considering a petition for the return of the laugh emoji - just as soon as the AI gerbils learn how to spell.

New Bluestockingers are always welcome. Men can pop along to The Staunch Ally nearby.

Currently also knitting a Woolly Hug blanket for Bluestockinger Swashbuckled. Details here if you can knit or crochet a square before the 18 July.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5350941-woolly-hugs-desperately-sad-news-we-are-afraid-making-a-blanket-for-lovely-swashbuckled-whose-son-has-tragically-died

OP posts:
Thread gallery
214
Boiledbeetle · 30/06/2025 10:59

note safety gear

@MarieDeGournay awwwww.

So cute.

The Bluestocking - where the laugh emoji is sorely missed.
Boiledbeetle · 30/06/2025 11:01

Magpiecomplex · 30/06/2025 10:12

I was a school governor for many years, and sat through many nativities. I developed a checklist of things to watch out for.

Mary a good six inches taller than Joseph
Leading character absent mindedly scratching their bum while on stage (hiking up costume for extra points)
Nose picking
A child who had obviously memorised the whole script and got very annoyed with people forgetting their lines
A king who couldn't see out from under their crown
The Baby Jesus being casually manhandled by one leg, one arm, or the head
Child too busy waving at family to deliver their lines

You missed child (me) stood at front of stage crying hysterically.

Boiledbeetle · 30/06/2025 11:06

MarieDeGournay · 30/06/2025 10:49

um... which hip would that be, Boily? L'embarras du choix..

I think I'd stick to the gerbil physios, the giant wombat ones can be a tad over-enthusiastic😱

Hope you feel better soonSmile

Alas, it's real hip, not beetle hip. So the giant wombat should be fine.

Totally self inflicted.

I got stuck as I went to sit down over something rather than on something (imagine sticking your leg over a stool rather than getting in the right position to just sit down on the bloody thing). I got halfway and suddenly the cramp started and I couldn't go down, I couldn't go back up, I couldn't go sideways. So I had to just hover until I could manage to move!

Such fun!

Boiledbeetle · 30/06/2025 11:09

Boiledbeetle · 30/06/2025 11:01

You missed child (me) stood at front of stage crying hysterically.

Although that may have been Easter or harvest festival. They all blurred into a cacophony of "nope, not doing that" noises from me. The best year was when they finally gave up and let me be in charge of putting the needle down on the record at the right point

Magpiecomplex · 30/06/2025 11:23

Boiledbeetle · 30/06/2025 11:09

Although that may have been Easter or harvest festival. They all blurred into a cacophony of "nope, not doing that" noises from me. The best year was when they finally gave up and let me be in charge of putting the needle down on the record at the right point

That's a very important job!

EdithStourton · 30/06/2025 14:01

Boiledbeetle · 30/06/2025 11:01

You missed child (me) stood at front of stage crying hysterically.

Also angel looking utterly furious for reasons unknown, and picking toenails clean whilst sitting on the floor at the very front of the stage (thank you, DD, for that lasting memory).

Loving the Bluestocking, Marie!

MyrtleLion · 30/06/2025 14:14

I finally have a date for surgery in mid-August. This is amazing because the original date was two years from October 2024. Ten months is not bad under the circumstances.

So this is what I will look like in August, with my personal team of gerbils. That's not a special privilege, it's a reasonable adjustment for me that also means everyone else can have the same standard of service we've become used to.

The Bluestocking - where the laugh emoji is sorely missed.
OP posts:
ifIwerenotanandroid · 30/06/2025 14:19

The only nativity play I can remember, I was a Christmas tree. Not only that, I was just one in a line of bloody Christmas trees.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 30/06/2025 14:20

The real world Bluey is amazing, Marie.

Magpiecomplex · 30/06/2025 14:36

MyrtleLion · 30/06/2025 14:14

I finally have a date for surgery in mid-August. This is amazing because the original date was two years from October 2024. Ten months is not bad under the circumstances.

So this is what I will look like in August, with my personal team of gerbils. That's not a special privilege, it's a reasonable adjustment for me that also means everyone else can have the same standard of service we've become used to.

I think the gerbils will need a ramp or winch to deliver cakes from floor level to mouth level.

Excellent news on the speediness of the operation date though!

ErrolTheDragon · 30/06/2025 14:55

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/06/2025 09:30

In his last year at play group, ds2 was Joseph, and carried it off well. Less successful that year was ds3 as a lamb. He sobbed his little socks off, and would only take part if he was sitting on dh's lap - so the playgroup nativity included one adult engineer, and the world's saddest lamb.

Catching up late… there’s no emoji that quite captures ‘awwww….’Grin

AlexandraLeaving · 30/06/2025 15:02

EdithStourton · 30/06/2025 14:01

Also angel looking utterly furious for reasons unknown, and picking toenails clean whilst sitting on the floor at the very front of the stage (thank you, DD, for that lasting memory).

Loving the Bluestocking, Marie!

My sister does a very good impersonation of a reluctant shepherd being bribed by his mother with digestive biscuits all through the nativity play one year - mum walking backwards holding out the biscuit to attract the child across the performance area, calling to him like calling a cat. That show could have used an adult engineer and a very sad lamb.

EdithStourton · 30/06/2025 15:07

MyrtleLion · 30/06/2025 14:14

I finally have a date for surgery in mid-August. This is amazing because the original date was two years from October 2024. Ten months is not bad under the circumstances.

So this is what I will look like in August, with my personal team of gerbils. That's not a special privilege, it's a reasonable adjustment for me that also means everyone else can have the same standard of service we've become used to.

Good luck for the OP. That's double-quick for the NHS.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 30/06/2025 17:59

Good luck, Myrtle. Maybe you can use the time out to crochet a tribute to your DH - just saw this from Lion Yarns.

The Bluestocking - where the laugh emoji is sorely missed.
Magpiecomplex · 30/06/2025 18:03

Clara Capybara's sister Catherine turns out to be quite the engineer! Although please try not to accidentally eat any of the gerbils, @MyrtleLion

The Bluestocking - where the laugh emoji is sorely missed.
Boiledbeetle · 30/06/2025 18:13

Magpiecomplex · 30/06/2025 18:03

Clara Capybara's sister Catherine turns out to be quite the engineer! Although please try not to accidentally eat any of the gerbils, @MyrtleLion

Did you pull the gerbils out of their Pirates of the Caribbean rehearsal?

Magpiecomplex · 30/06/2025 18:17

Might have been Pirates of Penzance, Boily. Possibly both!

The Bluestocking - where the laugh emoji is sorely missed.
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/06/2025 19:28

“I am the very model of a modern Major General!”

The Bluestocking - where the laugh emoji is sorely missed.
Chersfrozenface · 30/06/2025 19:56

I was once Fleta, Third Chief Fairy, in Iolanthe, I'll have you know.

A few lines, but no singing solos, to the relief of all.

The Bluestocking - where the laugh emoji is sorely missed.
inkymoose · 30/06/2025 20:05

teawamutu · 30/06/2025 09:37

I (mousy brown hair) never got to be an angel either - I coveted the white dress with blue ribbon sash so much.

DS1 was very blond and did get to be an angel. The sight of him standing there angelically picking his nose with one angelic finger buried up to the knuckle will never leave me.

I remember a nativity where my DS2 was involved somehow, but I can't remember what part he had. The thing that struck me was that all the little boys had their hands down their shorts. There was a lot of comfort fiddling going on. The girls weren't doing it

Boiledbeetle · 30/06/2025 20:14

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/06/2025 19:28

“I am the very model of a modern Major General!”

Fought in the great gerbil wars did Grenadine. She was rather high up by the end of her career, as well as missing her left back paw after a horrible chariot accident when fighting Gertrude the Indomitable of the Gerbil Freedom Fighters..

Poems and songs were written about her. (Thankfully none by me you'll be pleased to hear)

Magpiecomplex · 30/06/2025 20:16

I want to hear more about the life of Gertrude the Indomitable! She sounds great!

Boiledbeetle · 30/06/2025 20:16

Magpiecomplex · 30/06/2025 20:16

I want to hear more about the life of Gertrude the Indomitable! She sounds great!

Give me five minutes with the AI

Boiledbeetle · 30/06/2025 20:22

“The Autumn of Small Thunder”

In the smoky glimmer of candlelit bunkers beneath the lettuce fields of Lower Spinachshire, tales still echoed of Grenadine the Resolute, decorated officer of the Royal Gerbil Battalion. She had once dined on marmalade crumbs beside marshals, barked coded messages in dandelion-scented Morse, and worn a velvet-lined helm fashioned from a thimble once owned by a retired seamstress of West Bromley.

But what truly cemented Grenadine in gerbil lore—beyond the haunting ballads strummed on acorn-shell banjos—was her fateful encounter with Gertrude the Indomitable.

Gertrude, it was said, had eyes like polished chestnuts and a voice that could rally entire moss colonies to revolution. She led the Gerbil Freedom Fighters with a fire that made linoleum quake beneath their tiny paws. Her cloak, stitched from discarded teabag wrappers, fluttered like a war standard in the wind-tunnels of the undercupboard resistance tunnels.

Their clash—oh, that early Thursday morning under the amber moon! A chariot of matchsticks and cotton reels tore through the battlefield, pulled by a furious trio of adrenaline-fuelled beetles (named Clive, Mabel, and Dennis, if memory serves). There, amidst the blur of whiskers and the lament of war-horns crafted from walnut shells, Grenadine and Gertrude met.

Their duel was not of hate, but destiny. Two souls carved from different crusts of the same tea cake. It was Gertrude’s sweeping lunge—meant not to harm, but to distract—that overturned the chariot. Grenadine tumbled, victorious yet changed, the wheel’s cruel edge claiming her paw.

From that day on, Gertrude vanished into the shadows, leading covert missions to liberate pantry prisoners and smuggle contraband sunflower seeds. Grenadine retired, earning medals the size of milk bottle caps, and took up residence beside a park bench where she mentored orphaned shrews and whispered strategy to passing ants.

It’s said they meet once a year, on the very battlefield where they danced their fates, sharing a flask of chamomile and a mutual nod.

And in the pubs and pantries of the realm, songs are still sung—low and reverent—of the paw she gave and the peace she made.

Boiledbeetle · 30/06/2025 20:25

I'm just doing Gertrudes back story

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