Swash, dearest one. Thank you for getting in touch. It's exquisitely beautiful and painful to read your words, and to know at the same time there's so much love, kindness and compassion for you and your wonderful daughter here at the Bluestocking. As Fuzzy said, "You're one of us. We are real people, wanting only the best for you, also a real person!" and everyone responding to you, trying to offer friendship and trust and peace through this weird medium, this Bluestocking thread that's silly and light-hearted and imaginative, and all of it, all of it is real.
I've found that time between the death and the funeral to feel endless, unfinished, exhausting, too - even though it isn't endless and eventually it's gone. It reminds me of Limbo, a grey place with little light or hope, no context, no respite, merely an exhausted waiting.
I'm so pleased that you have lovely neighbours who are making thoughtful & kind contributions, they will outweigh the nasty neighbour, even though sometimes that doesn't seem possible.
I hope you have a peaceful birthday and feel loved today.
Sending you loving thoughts from over 'ere and delightful woodland walks and breathing in the aroma and sounds of the woods, and cake.
I haven't put your ship in these woodland pics, because they're real photos, taken by me (I am also very fond of woods). Ship will follow in another post ⚓️