Even a 10 year old can understand it

[inkognithia]

Thanks to Haribo, my daughter and I have had one of the important chats a little earlier than I'd expected.

Sucked in by the power of marketing, she wanted to buy sweets in the supermarket, but they were branded with TERF wizard school stuff, so I explained that we could buy sweets, but not those, and she obviously wanted to know why.

Thus we had a short chat in the supermarket about how there was a person who had created those characters who turned out to be a bully, and she would get money from anything sold that was to do with her work. Then in the car we had a longer chat about trans people in which I was very conscious that my way of explaining who they are might not be the best and I might be putting it badly, but it was better to have the talk now than not at all.

Her current stance is that she is not OK with bullies and has immediately accepted that we don't buy anything that gives them money, and she specifically says she is on the side of trans people because some of them are our friends. Which might not be the perfect motivation, but I'll take it.

Usefully, this also led to a shorter talk about how people should be allowed to love and marry who they like irrespective of gender, but mostly she was surprised that anyone would think otherwise.

Respect is so simple a 10 year old can grasp it.

But you weren’t showing respect to the millions of people who agree with JKR, are thankful that she has the courage and visibility to speak on their behalf, and think that the bullies are the ones who have spent years persecuting people with opinions different from their own, and abusing anyone who disagrees with them or even just wants an open discussion of such an important issue.

How sad for your daughter that you are brainwashing her instead of having a balanced discussion. Hopefully as she grows older she will think for herself and perhaps see who the real bullies are.

Then in the car we had a longer chat about trans people in which I was very conscious that my way of explaining who they are might not be the best and I might be putting it badly

i'm not surprised, these little life lessons can be rather daunting.

Especially for non Mumsnetters.

Funnily enough, I had the exact same conversation with my daughter, only she's three and it was in French and Mandarin alternately. And then she used the empty packet to prove Pythagoras theorem.

Athough obviously they weren't Haribo <shudders>, it was organic mango fruit leather.

Do stick around for more tips. You'll soon get the hang of it. 'Putting things badly' will be a distant memory

You gave your child store bought fruit leather? Made from imported fruit?

If you have to ruin your child’s teeth and set them up for diabetes you should be making your own fruit leather <shudder> from locally sourced organic in season fruit?!

My child is on the broccoli diet. No evil meat or sugar laiden fruit.

Now, if only I could get him to actually eat it, my halo would be the shiniest of all.

Hilarious!!!

I have stirrings of a memory...is the fruit leather a very old thread reference?

God no, it was home-made

Well if it isn't, it should be.

Then maybe the OP would think twice about trying to deliver an important life lesson in a sugar laden, gelatined, E numbered environment.

Rookie error, of course. She would do well to read old threads, on that basis alone, I suggest she starts with cutted up pear.

Because an uninformed toddler stridently demanding what they want and then having a tantrum when they don't get it, is something we've all encountered.

An alternative question.

What if I told you something which is clearly a lie like 'I am 8 years old' and asked you to agree with me that I am indeed 8 years old. What if when when you say 'but you aren't 8 years old I shout at you and threaten to beat you up for being ageist would that be OK?

Would she say yes then?

"but mostly she was surprised that anyone would think otherwise."

Yes, your explanation sounds a bit confusing. Of course she thinks bullying is bad.

I'm not sure what being 'on the side of trans people' means, but you are right that her reasoning seems a little off. Presumably she understands that she can be friends with people and not agree wth them.

I would be a little wary of her understanding of 'respect'. Your daughter doesn't have to respect anyone. She does have to obey the law and tolerate beliefs that she might not agree with.

I recommend Victoria Smith if you want to understand the issues more.

https://thecritic.co.uk/author/victoria-smith/

Her latest book 'Unkind' sounds relevant too:

www.amazon.co.uk/kind-How-Kind-Entrenches-Sexism/dp/0349127131

Ironically, many of us nasty terfs are more on the side of trans-identifying people than the TRAs are. We believe that medical care for trans-IDing people should be of the same high standard and as stringently-tested as medical care for people in general. We believe that trans-IDing should be safeguarded with the same honesty and openness that help safeguard other vulnerable people.

And that is what our plopper considers bullying.

Was it an ecumenical matter?

I’m presuming packet means home made beeswax wrap. Superb for geometry lessons on the go. Brava!

I've had them and can confirm they are delicious

I also gave some to my Terf-In-Training devil spawns, so they didn't last long 😃

I took a stroll to my local corner shop this afternoon, and what did I spy? Couldn't resist a small contribution to the coffers of the Terven Queen.

Ah, you presume correctly. I hadn't realised I was quite so transparent <ostentatiously rustles beeswax wrap, covered in pencilled triangles 😄>