The Bluestocking Women’s Pub - The Return of Salad and the Lion

[MyrtleLion]

It’s been a while since I last saw everyone!

Welcome to everyone, regulars, lurkers, newly ventured in.

A place for women to discuss whatever takes their fancy, where the bar staff are attentive gerbils, Rosy the Red Panda is available for cuddles and all sweet things have no calories and all alcohol leaves the drinker slightly merry and hangover-free.

Previous thread is here:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5326705-the-bluestocking-womens-pub-where-brains-can-exist-in-a-single-state

Somewhere I still (I hope) have a recipe for tablet that I used to make as a teenager. IIRC you had to boil the mixture for an hour & a quarter, stirrring it - hard work, so I didn't make it often but it was gorgeous. Butter, sugar, evap - can't remember what else. Maybe nothing more was needed.

“Granny Mcboiled” just fucking did me

I had a look. They're selling a lot of Ruth Bader Ginsbergs but no Lady Blacks.

Lady Nibbles is delighted. She will be adjudicating the different tablet and deciding which is the best. Or the naughtiest. Or something.

She may be some time. But it’s keeping her busy. Don’t be fooled by the stern look on her face. She’s having the time of her life.

Rum isn't my usual drink, but I will partake tonight.

I have no idea why I'm dressed like Del Boy, but it might become clear after a drink.

Not sure why my picture didn’t attach. I thought it was just the usual delay, but I’ll try again.

Well I feel judged!!

😐😶😉🐞

Coconut tablet sounds good, if only because DH wouldn’t eat it. More for me.

I’ll have to speak to the expert tablet maker about it.

Mrs Tilly’s also makes Raspberry and Tablet popcorn, it says here. Could The Bluestocking order a selection? Which being is in charge of ordering and stock control?

Fuzzy, did I see that same picture of a hand holding a packet of Tunnocks logs on another internet site very recently? IIRC its name starts with R. (definitely not Reddit)

That will be Ruby, the red squirrel, very adept at squirrelling supplies away.

I am under strict instructions not to let anyone know her exact location for obvious reasons. She does most of her ordering online and in secret. Just email [email protected] and she’ll sort you out.

Is it OK to end the day with another quiet moment with Swash in mind?
It's been such a sad day, I feel it needs a quiet end.
Good night, and love to all, and especially to Swash and her dear children xx

I think we should do the odd lament for swashy as we go along our way. So here is mine by Arden, which will end my night, after a wine or two and shit typing skills.

Stop all the clocks cut off the telephone
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone

(well i got bored with the middle bit besides i am struggling now with the above mentioned challenges)

Anyway best bit

He was my north my south my east my west
My working week my Sunday rest
My morning my midnight my talk my song
I thought that love would last forever, I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now put out every one.
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood
For nothing now can come to any good.

Time will not dim the face I love,
The voice I heard each day,
The many things you did for me,
In your own special way.
All my life I’ll miss you,
As the years come and go,
But in my heart I’ll keep you,
Because I love you so.

I say goodnight with these words from the Selected Letters of Henry James:
“Sorrow comes in great waves – no one can know better than you – but it rolls over us, and though it may almost smother us, it leaves us on the spot, and we know that if it is strong, we are stronger, in as much as it passes, and we remain … You are passing through a darkness that has made you wretched; but it is only a darkness, it is not an end, or the end.
“Don’t think, don’t feel any more than you can help, don’t conclude or decide, don’t do anything, but wait…“.

❤️

The day thou gavest Lord, is ended,
The darkness falls at thy behest.
To thee our morning prayers ascended,
Thy praise shall sanctify our rest.

May all the deities bless Swash and her family. And I couldn’t be more grateful for the wonderful women of the Bluestocking.

I'll be out all day until this evening.
Still thinking of Swashy and her family.

So I was out yesterday, working at an undisclosed location in London. I saw two of Myrtle's relatives and what appears to be Marie in upbeat mood. And the odd garden... 😉

Hi everyone,

I wanted to check in with you while my daughter is sleeping. I’ve read all your lovely messages; it really, really helps to feel you all there and I’m so glad I have you. Thank you for everything you have posted ❤️.

He died yesterday, late afternoon. We had meetings with the consultant to discuss what would happen. They removed his ventilator to allow him to die “naturally”. We were with him from then until he passed.

Family travelled up last night and stayed for a few hours. They brought food, which is good because we haven’t been eating since it happened. We have a full fridge.

Yes, I have had kind offers from friends to do those small practical things that are so important. I’m glad we moved to a village when we did because I think that will feel supportive, living where everyone knew him and knows what has happened.

I have to do some announcing today, so to speak. People in his life have contacted me (only a few) because they’ve heard rumours and wanted to check. His work rang last night; they are all so upset and are going to close the business. If we announce it, this will make things clear for everyone who knew him. It may help us too.

We need to do practical things while my daughter is here. He’d just bought a car on finance, his bank payments etc. The police still have his phone and, even if we had it, we cannot open it due to facial recognition. And everything was on his phone, no paper stuff, so I don’t know what to do. If anyone does, or can point me to a thread about it, that would be so helpful.

I’m focusing on the practical things here, in terms of updates for you. I don’t want to connect to the “howl” of my loss as I type. I’m in his bed again; made a coffee and brought it here when I woke up.

Thank you so much for being here. ❤️

Thinking of Swashbuckled and her family this morning, and what today might bring.

Thank you for the image of me in the background earlier Myrtle - I was very honoured to be in such company. X

And something Swashy would recognise from her voyages across the high seas.

Cross posted - apologies.

So unfair that in the midst of howling grief you have to be practical too. Take care.

Im so glad your family came with food and support, swashy.

I’m fortunate enough to never have been through anything like this, but I’ve found a couple of things that may be helpful.
firstly the government has a site with a set of steps laid out - you may well have already found this.
https://www.gov.uk/when-someone-dies

secondly this may be useful for notifying his bank(s)

https://www.which.co.uk/news/article/new-service-notifies-banks-of-a-loved-ones-death-with-a-single-click-abrpG1B3FUrn

i don’t think you’re expected to be able to provide much detail at this point - DH once pointed out to me that it shouldn’t matter if I can’t access banking info on his phone because we’re not supposed to share passwords, pins etc on non-joint accounts.

Thank you @ErrolTheDragon

No, I wasn’t aware of these. I haven’t started to look into it yet, but this is on our list for things to do this week while my daughter is here.

I will look into these later and thank you so much.

Hello Swashy thank you so much for letting us know. i am so sad for you is all i can say