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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The Bluestocking Women’s Pub - The Return of Salad and the Lion

1000 replies

MyrtleLion · 17/05/2025 21:17

It’s been a while since I last saw everyone!

Welcome to everyone, regulars, lurkers, newly ventured in.

A place for women to discuss whatever takes their fancy, where the bar staff are attentive gerbils, Rosy the Red Panda is available for cuddles and all sweet things have no calories and all alcohol leaves the drinker slightly merry and hangover-free.

Previous thread is here:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5326705-the-bluestocking-womens-pub-where-brains-can-exist-in-a-single-state

The Bluestocking Women's Pub, where brains can exist in a single state | Mumsnet

Welcome all. The booze here is minimally intoxicating, the food is calorie free and the staff are warm and cuddly. And if the thread title sounds nons...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5326705-the-bluestocking-womens-pub-where-brains-can-exist-in-a-single-state

OP posts:
Thread gallery
213
Bannedontherun · 29/05/2025 10:56

Love an and care to you Swashy

inkymoose · 29/05/2025 11:37

Dear Swashy, sending loving thoughts to you and your daughter. I think about you every day with love.
I am so glad that you are finding a little comfort in the Bluestocking. The admin does get a bit easier eventually - it's good to have a small break.

The Bluestocking Women’s Pub - The Return of Salad and the Lion
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 29/05/2025 12:09

We - and all the small Bluestocking furry creatures - are here for you whenever you need us. I just wish there was more I could do.

MarieDeGournay · 29/05/2025 12:43

We are always here for you, dear Swash. I'm glad you still recognise the gerbils as little Bluestocking messengers carrying our sincere thoughts, prayers and love.

I am so sorry that you have to wait for things to happen before you can set sail on the next leg of the sad journey that is still ahead of you.

Sending love and strength to you and your daughter xx
Flowers💙Flowers

MyrtleLion · 29/05/2025 13:22

Sending love and this image of two lions which is my wallpaper today.

The Bluestocking Women’s Pub - The Return of Salad and the Lion
OP posts:
CautiousLurker01 · 29/05/2025 13:24

MyrtleLion · 27/05/2025 22:52

The restaurant by the river does breakfast from 9-11 on Saturday and Sunday mornings. They have smoky beans as part of their big fry-up.

We are driving to Gatwick on Saturday afternoon before our flight at early o’clock on Sunday. So we are going to have breakfast by the river. And, because we are running down the fridge contents, we are also going to have dinner by the river on Friday evening. I am almost more excited about the breakfast than going on holiday.

Will I have the fry up, or the avocado mash, or the stack of pancakes with bacon and maple syrup, or the fruit bowl, with a coffee or smoothie or juice?

I want all of it.

Yeah, when we go on holiday I am often more excited by the shopping and eating at the airport than I am the holiday itself!!

Magpiecomplex · 29/05/2025 13:28

I'm bad at expressing this sort of thing Swashy, but I'm thinking of you and your daughter. I've sent some gerbils over with tasty comestibles. After Gemini gave me FOUR images of them taking food off the ship, each time confidently asserting they weren't.

The Bluestocking Women’s Pub - The Return of Salad and the Lion
CautiousLurker01 · 29/05/2025 13:33

Swashbuckled · 19/05/2025 06:41

Hi,

This might be a bit of a post and run, for now. You’ll understand.

I live with my son, who is in his early twenties. We are extremely close. I have a daughter, who lives in the far north, who’s just finishing uni.

Yesterday morning the police came to the house. My son had been walking back to the village after staying with a friend. There was a RTC and he suffered extensive head/brain injuries. They drove me to the hospital in the nearest city.

He is in an induced coma but they said he won’t survive the injuries. My daughter came down. We came home from the hospital last night. We’re going again this morning, after ward round, and they envisage they will be switching off the life support either today or tomorrow.

I don’t know how to end this post. But wanted to tell you. I’m writing this sitting up in his bed. I think I might need the Blue Stocking more than ever as things settle, if they ever do.

So very very sorry to read this @Swashbuckled . Sending huge hugs, thoughts and prayers for you and your daughter.

SionnachRuadh · 29/05/2025 13:37

You're in my prayers Swashy

Chersfrozenface · 29/05/2025 13:40

Thinking of you and your daughter every day, Swashy.

Boiledbeetle · 29/05/2025 16:22

@Swashbuckled

❤️

Boiledbeetle · 29/05/2025 16:23

Just gone to get my tea.

Don't you just hate it when life imitates art!

The Bluestocking Women’s Pub - The Return of Salad and the Lion
Bannedontherun · 29/05/2025 16:29

Boiledbeetle · 29/05/2025 16:23

Just gone to get my tea.

Don't you just hate it when life imitates art!

You daft bugger Beetle

Magpiecomplex · 29/05/2025 16:31

Boiledbeetle · 29/05/2025 16:23

Just gone to get my tea.

Don't you just hate it when life imitates art!

You missed a few.

MyrtleLion · 29/05/2025 16:38

Three job applications made today. Everything is complete before my holiday. Just a nail and brows appointment tomorrow and I need to buy a birthday present for my soon to be 15 year old DNephew. Thank heavens for Nintendo vouchers as he’s impossible to buy for.

Thanks to Grace, Gemma and Gabby for their support. Grace has been brilliant at keeping version control, Gemma brought the snacks and Gabby has just shown up with a bottomless bottle of wine. She was very keen to provide it early but Grace said I needed to focus and kept her at bay.

The Bluestocking Women’s Pub - The Return of Salad and the Lion
OP posts:
CautiousLurker01 · 29/05/2025 16:44

@MyrtleLion am just thinking about jobs myself. Not worked [for anyone else] for nearly 20 years. I did run a childcare business, lead brownies/beavers and was a district commissioner and picked up 3 degrees… so it’s not all been daytime TV.

But trying to psych myself up to job hunting as an older woman - cannot get my head around Indeed and all the online CV uploading that people have to do and was, before your post popped up, wondering whether I could approach people in media that I’ve connected with and offer to do free research and writing (like internships) in exchange for a reference and work experience. Am thinking this is what the youngsters are having to do, now, isn’t it?

The house is going to be so empty in 15months time…

MarieDeGournay · 29/05/2025 16:56

Magpiecomplex I'm bad at expressing this sort of thing
You're not really, Magpie, but anyway, that's what gerbils are for
Smile
And it was lovely to see Swash referring to the gerbils in her post - I had a bit of a wobble at first that maybe anthropomorphic rodents were a bit inappropriate in the circumstances, but no, they carry not just baskets of food, but also our love and sympathy, and Swash recognises them as such💙

Good luck with the 3 job apps, Myrtle, and to you in gearing up to the job apps stage, Cautious!

MyrtleLion · 29/05/2025 17:05

CautiousLurker01 · 29/05/2025 16:44

@MyrtleLion am just thinking about jobs myself. Not worked [for anyone else] for nearly 20 years. I did run a childcare business, lead brownies/beavers and was a district commissioner and picked up 3 degrees… so it’s not all been daytime TV.

But trying to psych myself up to job hunting as an older woman - cannot get my head around Indeed and all the online CV uploading that people have to do and was, before your post popped up, wondering whether I could approach people in media that I’ve connected with and offer to do free research and writing (like internships) in exchange for a reference and work experience. Am thinking this is what the youngsters are having to do, now, isn’t it?

The house is going to be so empty in 15months time…

Wow, Cautious! That’s a brilliant track record of entrepreneurship, teamwork and crisis handling, because kids are never straightforward.

Firstly, get together a CV of the last 10 years. Then you can say, “previously I worked as/ran my own childcare business”. But if the last ten years is patchy, include all the experience. Remember not just the doing of the business (child care, nutrition, client management etc) but also the running of the business- tax, regulation compliance, payroll, accounts, reports to companies house (if you did that) etc.

No need for any contact information except mobile and email but make sure it’s not something like Silly.Lurker@gmail, it first name.lastname@gmail (or wherever).

Add a three paragraph statement summarising what you’re good at and what you’re looking for, e.g. Experienced entrepreneur looking for research work in the childcare sector. Add in key skills as a bullet list.

Don’t worry if this is overwhelming. Write all your experience in detail in a document. Don’t worry about getting the words right. Then upload it to ChatGPT and ask it write a CV for you, pulling out key skills for the list and a three paragraph summary at the top for speculative enquiries for the type of work you’re looking for. It can make stuff up, so check what it says.

You can also ask it to suggest what kind of roles you might be suitable and how much they might pay.

you can ask it questions about the kinds of thing you might like to do before you get as far as the CV stage. I’m happy to have a look at it, or take this conversation offline if you want xx

OP posts:
CautiousLurker01 · 29/05/2025 17:25

Thank you so much @MyrtleLion I have my annual review at Uni next week (just realising I have current presentation and pitching skills lol) but will def take you up on the CV review off line after that?

My DH’s firm actively take/seek returners to work after childrearing career breaks, so am assuming other companies do too, but I have just no idea what my skill set fits! Worked in investment banking for my sins before kids but obvs all the qualifications have expired. Am over the worst of the menopause fog now too and keen to ‘do something’ for the next 5-10 years, even if it’s part time. As much to make non-mum friends and get back out into the world. I miss the dire office Christmas parties of all things…

MyrtleLion · 29/05/2025 17:30

CautiousLurker01 · 29/05/2025 17:25

Thank you so much @MyrtleLion I have my annual review at Uni next week (just realising I have current presentation and pitching skills lol) but will def take you up on the CV review off line after that?

My DH’s firm actively take/seek returners to work after childrearing career breaks, so am assuming other companies do too, but I have just no idea what my skill set fits! Worked in investment banking for my sins before kids but obvs all the qualifications have expired. Am over the worst of the menopause fog now too and keen to ‘do something’ for the next 5-10 years, even if it’s part time. As much to make non-mum friends and get back out into the world. I miss the dire office Christmas parties of all things…

Sure, I'm on holiday till the 11 June, so PM me after that. If you don't know how, just ask me to PM you.

If you were in investment banking then you understand risk and markets. Even if your qualifications are out of date, you will have significant domain knowledge and that's brilliant. Don't worry about what you'll do yet. Focus on what you've done and then we can look at transferable skills and where you might want to work and where your skills are in demand. You have the opportunity for a great late stage career. And many companies do returnships.

OP posts:
Magpiecomplex · 29/05/2025 17:32

Lurky, you could also look for some of the "PhDs are amazing because they can turn their hands to all these things" content on LinkedIn. My recollection is it's more STEM focused, but it will still help in spotting all the transferrable skills one develops during a PhD.

EdithStourton · 29/05/2025 17:40

I'm so pleased you popped in, Swashy. I think of you and family every day, often at odd moments.

Cautious, I'd was never entirely out of the workplace for more than 5 or 6 years at a stretch, but getting back in the second time was a bit of a nightmare (the first time I knew someone who knew someone and all went smoothly). The whole online element, having to write a CV, having to remember what work clothes looked like.... Good luck with it all, it is stressful. The kind offer from Magpie should really help.

CautiousLurker01 · 29/05/2025 17:49

Thanks for this - tbh, I’ve been so reticent about going back before now. DD wasn’t really stable until this year and the menopause was brutal (I gained soooooo much weight). But I decided I was not going to stumble across the stage to pick up my PhD certificate in a stoooopid porkpie hat whilst 6-7st over weight (I didn’t go to my MA graduation for that reason)… and then realised I’d feel much more confident presenting a paper at conference or running a seminar/workshop with a bunch of 20 somethings if I shed it even sooner.

I’ve been growing increasingly excited at the thought of being back in work over the last year as DD has got better and my son’s [brilliant] economics A level teacher is 70, so bloody hell, I thought, there has to be something I can do out there?!

Magpiecomplex · 29/05/2025 18:02

No worries Lurky. I'd second Myrtle's suggestion of using AI as a sounding board. I used it to come up with insightful questions to ask during my recent interview, and I even asked for its advice on what to wear!

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