I see that, but I think it's one thing to identify strongly with things you actually are, and quite another to insist that you are something you're not, or that you can know what it's like.
So, I'm a woman, I'm happy to be a woman and very much see myself as one, I'm quite feminine in many ways. I have no idea if everyone sees me as especially womanly - they might have different ideas about what feminity entails - but all I'm saying is I feel congruent about my sex (if that sentence makes any grammatical sense). So I get that.
I'm also British, and while I don't have a problem with being British, it's not something I see as a core part of who I am. So, it's part of my identity, but not a part I really lean into.
Let's say I really like France, feel a big affinity for it as a country, spend a lot of time there, have learnt a lot of French, feel very "me" while wafting around the Dordogne in a chic sundress with a fresh baguette in my hand. Can I claim to be French? Is Hillary "Hilaria" Baldwin Spanish? (Not a perfect analogy, as one can acquire citizenship, but even if I did that, it would not be granted on the basis of my alleged emotional affinity and desire to be seen as a Frenchwoman. I mean I would never be seen as a Frenchwoman, I snack too much, that baguette wouldn't make it back to the gîte in one piece 😄)
Let's not even get onto race...e.g. if despite being white I feel an affinity with the idea of being black...
So, I'd break it down as such:
- Am that thing, feel like that thing - fine
- Am that thing, don't really feel like that thing - fine, but obviously you are still that thing and sometimes that might matter
- Am not that thing but kind of wish I was - all very well and good in your imagination, don't expect the law, or other people, to see it that way