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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Hahahaha!!!!

423 replies

DialSquare · 08/04/2025 14:57

I love JKR!

Hahahaha!!!!
OP posts:
Theeyeballsinthesky · 08/04/2025 18:37

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 08/04/2025 18:30

Because it’s considered weird by the majority when someone has never had a relationship nor wants one.

Teenagers are incredibly focused on sex and boyfriends and girlfriends.

Adults are focused on getting married and having kids.

It’s silly to pretend dating/marriage/kids isn’t an enormous focus in society.

Woman feel pressured to have kids all the time! Of course being asexual is an issue.

Some adults are focused on having kids but as we know there are many childfree ppl who definitely not focused on this

does the endless tedious self obsessed naval gazing never get boring??

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 08/04/2025 18:40

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 08/04/2025 18:30

Because it’s considered weird by the majority when someone has never had a relationship nor wants one.

Teenagers are incredibly focused on sex and boyfriends and girlfriends.

Adults are focused on getting married and having kids.

It’s silly to pretend dating/marriage/kids isn’t an enormous focus in society.

Woman feel pressured to have kids all the time! Of course being asexual is an issue.

Who’s the majority? Has there been a sample of asexual people who have been asked how much hassle/bullying it’s caused them? That they’ve been pressured into focussing on marriage and kids (which many do without feeling sexual desire for their partner).

Have you spoken to any asexual teenagers about how life limiting it is, as common as it’s not to know you’re asexual at that age.

I don’t think it’s weird. I realise some people don’t have sexual feelings and don’t give it any more thought than that. They exist.

What I don’t get is people like you getting offended on behalf of others, making it an oppressed ‘thing’ and wanting a day of visibility for what the majority don’t actually care about.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 08/04/2025 18:42

VoodooQualities · 08/04/2025 18:31

Especially from an author who uses the name of the man who popularised conversion therapy as her pen name.

Aaaaand there it is.

Someone's been drinking the TRA kool-aid.

From here on in, nobody needs to pay any attention to a single word you type. Sorry!

Aye, it’s tedious.

MarieDeGournay · 08/04/2025 18:42

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 08/04/2025 18:30

Because it’s considered weird by the majority when someone has never had a relationship nor wants one.

Teenagers are incredibly focused on sex and boyfriends and girlfriends.

Adults are focused on getting married and having kids.

It’s silly to pretend dating/marriage/kids isn’t an enormous focus in society.

Woman feel pressured to have kids all the time! Of course being asexual is an issue.

For the umpteenth time: not wanting to have a sexual relationship is not new, it's not unheard of, it's not weird, and it's just one aspect of a whole human being.

Where I would agree with you is that young teenagers are expected to have heterosexual sex, often before they have worked out if they are gay or lesbian, or even if they want to have sex at all.

Underage sex has become normalised, I've heard parents saying 'Oh they're going to be doing it anyway' while allowing their 14 and 15-year olds have sex with their boy/girlfriends in their own homes.

However I also know of parents struggling against this tide of normalisation.

So it would be a great idea if young teenagers were given the time to decide whether or not they want to have sex and who with.

KnottyAuty · 08/04/2025 18:50

MissDoubleU · 08/04/2025 17:02

Asexual people are at more risk of people attempting to “cure” them. It’s calling corrective rape and it’s absolutely not something to joke about.

Gosh - I’d have thought the last thing they’d want was a day of visibility? Best keep mum and eschew any attention?

SirChenjins · 08/04/2025 18:59

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 08/04/2025 18:30

Because it’s considered weird by the majority when someone has never had a relationship nor wants one.

Teenagers are incredibly focused on sex and boyfriends and girlfriends.

Adults are focused on getting married and having kids.

It’s silly to pretend dating/marriage/kids isn’t an enormous focus in society.

Woman feel pressured to have kids all the time! Of course being asexual is an issue.

Can you point to the stats that show this is the view of the majority of the population?

And by stats, I mean those from properly conducted , unbiased research. .

MolkosTeenageAngst · 08/04/2025 19:01

DialSquare · 08/04/2025 16:14

She didn’t attack them. She implied it’s ridiculous to have an international day for asexuals and I agree. In what way are they oppressed?

Does a group have to be oppressed to have a day of recognition? We have Father’s Day, I’m not sure fathers are oppressed? There are days for languages (eg: French Language Day, English Language Day) but I’m not sure the languages are oppressed. There an International Tea Day, a World Football Day, International Day of The Potato even. Having a day of recognition doesn’t mean a group have to be oppressed does it?

RapidOnsetGenderCritic · 08/04/2025 19:05

MolkosTeenageAngst · 08/04/2025 19:01

Does a group have to be oppressed to have a day of recognition? We have Father’s Day, I’m not sure fathers are oppressed? There are days for languages (eg: French Language Day, English Language Day) but I’m not sure the languages are oppressed. There an International Tea Day, a World Football Day, International Day of The Potato even. Having a day of recognition doesn’t mean a group have to be oppressed does it?

Father's Day came, I believe, from some fathers (not me!) being miffed that mothers had Mothering Sunday. So out of a feeling of unfairness, of being left out, because mothers got all the praise (and all the brickbats, but I doubt if that was in any men's minds).

SirChenjins · 08/04/2025 19:07

We need a day of visibility for women who are utterly fed up of pointless days of visibility.

SirChenjins · 08/04/2025 19:10

Scrub that - it needs to be a lot longer than a day.

DialSquare · 08/04/2025 19:21

MolkosTeenageAngst · 08/04/2025 19:01

Does a group have to be oppressed to have a day of recognition? We have Father’s Day, I’m not sure fathers are oppressed? There are days for languages (eg: French Language Day, English Language Day) but I’m not sure the languages are oppressed. There an International Tea Day, a World Football Day, International Day of The Potato even. Having a day of recognition doesn’t mean a group have to be oppressed does it?

But we know what we are recognising with those days. What are we recognising with International day of Asexuals if it’s not oppression?

OP posts:
HaveYouActuallyDoneAnyWashingThisWeekMum · 08/04/2025 19:21

user9637 · 08/04/2025 17:13

Some people are asexual, but some are more asexual than others eh?

Is there a helpful graph spectrum thing to indicate what it is like there is with “gender “ with Barbie at one end and Action Man at the other?

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 08/04/2025 19:29

PriOn1 · 08/04/2025 17:57

The entire reason gay people need to be protected is because it is visible when you go out with a same-sex partner.

There is no need for any other sexuality to be discussed or on show, other than when you are considering having a relationship with someone. Therefore, protection and visibility is not needed.

Why is it that, just because it was essential to make things easier for gay people to have relationships without hiding, we now have to openly discuss and declare every single aspect of something that should only be discussed in private?

Fine to educate children at school that they only need to have sex if they want it, and in a way that suits them. That’s part of consent.

I’ll be glad when the current frenzy for being openly perverted and advertising your kinks and fetishes is over.

Edited

Agreed on all points.

Sunnytuesdayafternoon · 08/04/2025 19:30

SirChenjins · 08/04/2025 19:07

We need a day of visibility for women who are utterly fed up of pointless days of visibility.

You know you can just...ignore them?

SirChenjins · 08/04/2025 19:33

Sunnytuesdayafternoon · 08/04/2025 19:30

You know you can just...ignore them?

That defeats the purpose of visibility days.

HaveYouActuallyDoneAnyWashingThisWeekMum · 08/04/2025 19:34

Being asexual isn’t a sexuality and there’s nothing to show or hide, so what exactly is the point of a Day of Visibility? I just can’t get my head around any of it.

You don’t want or like sex - fine. Quite honestly nobody cares. It’s like announcing a propos de rien that you don’t like apples 🤷‍♀️

Hairyesterdaygonetoday · 08/04/2025 19:34

heathspeedwell · 08/04/2025 16:39

I think it's good that she's highlighting the absurdity of people using asexuality as an identity.

The TRAs are very keen to make being asexual part of the LGBTQ umbrella because they know that all the poor kids like Jazz Jennings and Jackie Green who had the misfortunate to be given puberty blockers will never be able to experience sexual pleasure.

If they can just claim that it's no big deal because loads of people are 'ace' then it detracts from the magnitude of horror of everything that was stolen from so many kids. Thousands of young people will never know the joy of feeling sexual desire or sexual fulfillment or the happiness that comes with intimacy or the closeness of the bonds it forges. All of that was taken from them by ideologues.

This is the real tragedy, not the fact that JK Rowling is questioning whether or not a day to celebrate being 'ace' is appropriate.

A very good point. There’s nothing harmless about this at all.

SquirrelSoShiny · 08/04/2025 19:35

DialSquare · 08/04/2025 14:57

I love JKR!

That is hilarious 😂

Sodthesystem · 08/04/2025 19:35

WaffleParty · 08/04/2025 16:09

Sorry, I wasn’t clear. I meant that attacking asexual people was spiteful. I don’t know why JKR feels the need to belittle people.

Telling them they don't need a day to celebrate them not fancying people isn't spiteful though.

Its hardly offensive. Plenty of asexuals aren't narcissists that feel they need a celebratory day to congratulate them for not shagging.

HaveYouActuallyDoneAnyWashingThisWeekMum · 08/04/2025 19:38

MissDoubleU · 08/04/2025 18:10

This is again, completely ignorant to the specific prejudices faced by the people in question.

Would you mind listing the specific prejudices please? I’m genuinely interested in trying to understand this.

UnhappyAndYouKnowIt · 08/04/2025 19:43

I fucking well object to your minimisation of post menopausal loss of sex drive as "can't be arsed".

What, having no sexual desire for the second half of your life isn't oppressed enough for you?

How about the people who spend their entire adult life on SSRIs that kill the libido because the alternative is actually killing themselves?

Same deal with cardiovascular meds.

Having zero sexual desire is not rare. It's just that most of the people with zero sexual desire don't base their identity around it or feel the need to announce it.

How many people do you think are ridiculing the concept because they actually do not give the tiniest shit about sex themselves?

thenoisiesttermagant · 08/04/2025 19:53

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 08/04/2025 18:30

Because it’s considered weird by the majority when someone has never had a relationship nor wants one.

Teenagers are incredibly focused on sex and boyfriends and girlfriends.

Adults are focused on getting married and having kids.

It’s silly to pretend dating/marriage/kids isn’t an enormous focus in society.

Woman feel pressured to have kids all the time! Of course being asexual is an issue.

It seems a bit weird if you don't ever want sex and don't feel sexual attraction to define your entire identity around sex (or lack thereof).

There is so much more to being human than sexual attraction, surely being defined as 'asexual' is being put in a box by those who are obsessed with it as the most important thing. I can't believe people who are actually asexual want to be defined by their lack of sexuality.

Sounds like a made up day to make money for someone.

Sodthesystem · 08/04/2025 19:55

thenoisiesttermagant · 08/04/2025 19:53

It seems a bit weird if you don't ever want sex and don't feel sexual attraction to define your entire identity around sex (or lack thereof).

There is so much more to being human than sexual attraction, surely being defined as 'asexual' is being put in a box by those who are obsessed with it as the most important thing. I can't believe people who are actually asexual want to be defined by their lack of sexuality.

Sounds like a made up day to make money for someone.

To be fair, some people define their whole identity by being gay too.

I don't think there needs to be a gay pride month or an asexual day any more than a national straight day. It's all attention seeking bullshit.

suggestionsplease1 · 08/04/2025 19:57

Before there was visibility for gay people many young gay teens did not understand their sexuality and social pressures led many to enter into heterosexual relationships. That makes sense doesn't it? We all know that is what has occured in the past (and unfortunately still in the present, for some).

In the same way, before visibility of asexuality as a legitimate enduring experience, many young asexual people did not understand their own experiences and because of social pressures entered into sexual relationships.

Surely, on a feminist forum, people can appreciate that this is not a good thing either, and that young people benefit from the language and legitimate identity to help assert themselves in a world where social pressures and the desire to fit amongst their peers and be 'normal' are overwhelming?

I can't believe what I read on here at times.

This language is a tool which helps young people more easily assert their right to decline a sexual relationship without awkward conversations that young people find difficult to navigate, and the visibility provides the broader social context to help others understand that individual's enduring right to not enter into sexual relationships and refrain from saying things like 'Ahhhh, it's because you just haven't met the right person', or put them in difficult positions: 'Well why don't we just try some stuff in bed and see what you feel, I'm sure I can change your mind'.

I thought feminists used to care about these issues, but on this forum and for JKR it would seem that sneering is the way forward instead.

thenoisiesttermagant · 08/04/2025 20:01

Gay men and lesbians could not in the past behave normally as heterosexual couples did; going on dates in public getting married, having a chat about their spouse at work. They would get beaten up for being openly homosexual. No one can tell if someone's asexual unless that person announces it - not the same thing at all.