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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

is mumsnet a safe space for me?

1000 replies

rexrabbit · 04/02/2025 21:04

would you say mumsnet these days is a safe space for a non-transphobic lesbian with children to hang out?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
MyrtleLion · 05/02/2025 20:06

RumNotRun · 05/02/2025 12:50

One of the chaps at work says "That's the badger" and I have since adopted it as I like the phrase. You are the only other person I have "met" who says it.

Apparently it's from the West Country.

Where there are a lot of badgers.

TheDowagerCountessofPembroke · 05/02/2025 20:10

MyrtleLion · 05/02/2025 20:06

Apparently it's from the West Country.

Where there are a lot of badgers.

I agree. I’m west country and it’s a fairly common phrase. Also sometimes ‘that’s the bastard’.

ChishiyaBat · 05/02/2025 20:10

MyrtleLion · 05/02/2025 20:06

Apparently it's from the West Country.

Where there are a lot of badgers.

boo yes GIF by BBC Earth

I also say that's the badger my family always used to say it when I was a child, i'm from Wales, but there are lots of badgers.

MyrtleLion · 05/02/2025 20:11

FlirtsWithRhinos · 05/02/2025 13:23

I never understand why age is considered a negative by some people, as if the more you experience not just of life but of how your needs and challenges are different at different stages of life, and the more people you meet and learn from, and the more political and economic eras you live through, somehow results in less awareness of life rather than more.

When I was twenty I would undoubtably have been all for replacing sex with gender. I'm sure I would have seen it as the next step in undoing sexsm.

When I was twenty I hadn't seen how opportunities and power accrued to men because society is structured to make their lives easier at the expense of ours.

When I was twenty I hadn't noticed yet just how men feel entitled to my time and attention.

When I was twenty I hadn't seen the degree to which women making feminist or really any political statements in public are attacked and vilified and dismissed to a far greater degree than men.

When I was twenty I thought that politicians, cultural leaders and business leaders being mostly men was just the end of an old era and women would be equal in a decade or so.

When I was twenty I thought men listened to me because I had things to say, not because they liked hanging out with a twenty years old female body.

When I was twenty I thought men appreciated women who had sex with them and wouldn't have sex with women they didn't like or respect or value as people

When I was twenty I hadn't had much exposure to older women as equals and hadn't heard them talk about the challenges they faced that i had not

When I was twenty I hadn't had the experience of making myself smaller and compliant to meet the expectations of a partner who would never be satisfied because the problems he saw in me were projections of his own demons

When I was twenty I hadn't met people who fit fairly traditional social stereotypes for class, sex or race and got to know them as friends and discovered they had insights I didn't into cultures and contexts I had very shallow ideas about

When I was twenty I hadn't lost people to illness or suicide

When I was twenty I hadn't seen good friends tear each other apart in toxic divorces

When I was twenty I hadn't seen female friendship groups shrink into the spaces around childcare while their husbands and partners maintained their hobbies and trips.

When I was twenty I hadn't seen people who held views I found awful on some things do things I admired in other areas

When I was twenty I hadn't seen movements for change play through from best of intentions to same old problems because people are more complicated than theory

When I was twenty I had never seen the impact of being a carer

When I was twenty I hadn't had the experience of supporting men who didn't fit society's idea of manhood only to find those men felt juat as entitled to my support and were juat as blind to me as a human of equal value as the men they claimed to be different to

When I was twenty I hadn't had no money

When I was twenty I thought i knew everything! Now I'm much older I know I hardly know anything and the only way to get somewhere is to do it with lots of people together not one vision for everyone.

This is poetic.

Beautiful.

Thank you.

EmpressaurusKitty · 05/02/2025 20:13

ChishiyaBat · 05/02/2025 20:10

I also say that's the badger my family always used to say it when I was a child, i'm from Wales, but there are lots of badgers.

I’m in London & I’ve never met a badger. Although I was once mugged by a squirrel.

Boiledbeetle · 05/02/2025 20:15

EmpressaurusKitty · 05/02/2025 20:13

I’m in London & I’ve never met a badger. Although I was once mugged by a squirrel.

You can't just leave us hanging!

SinnerBoy · 05/02/2025 20:18

Boiledbeetle · Today 18:21

Sorry, but no I'm a none swimming beetle. And I probably could fly, if I wanted to, but have not yet felt the urge. I occasionally think of going to the roof and taking flight but what if the wings don't work???? I'm very risk adverse!

All beetles can fly to some extent! And simply identify as a great diving beetle and of course you'll be able to swim.

ChishiyaBat · 05/02/2025 20:18

EmpressaurusKitty · 05/02/2025 20:13

I’m in London & I’ve never met a badger. Although I was once mugged by a squirrel.

Squirrels are savages, red or grey? Hope you are ok now, what was it after?

WandsOut · 05/02/2025 20:19

TheDowagerCountessofPembroke · 05/02/2025 20:00

Just dropping in to add that I got DH a Cretaceous period dinosaurs chocolate advent calendar from M&S. He was very pleased to note that a number of the featured dinosaurs were in Jurassic Park. Not to say that he bears a grudge but he is still annoyed that some of the dinosaurs featured weren’t Jurassic at all.

The chocolates weren't dinosaur shaped inside which was a shame.
I think they could have all been egg shaped to save on having different chocolate moulds.

Boiledbeetle · 05/02/2025 20:23

SinnerBoy · 05/02/2025 20:18

Boiledbeetle · Today 18:21

Sorry, but no I'm a none swimming beetle. And I probably could fly, if I wanted to, but have not yet felt the urge. I occasionally think of going to the roof and taking flight but what if the wings don't work???? I'm very risk adverse!

All beetles can fly to some extent! And simply identify as a great diving beetle and of course you'll be able to swim.

But what if I can't! It's just too risky, just put me in armbands if I'm near a pool!

MyrtleLion · 05/02/2025 20:26

This thread is brilliant! I lurked here when it went up and left when the OP flounced off. I missed a treat.

Dragons, dinosaurs, not-dinosaurs, pronunciation (didn't the diplodocus used to be pronounced brontosaurus?), beetles and teacakes (good chance you'll see them together, but not for long), badgers and everything!

How do we get it added to Classics?

EmpressaurusKitty · 05/02/2025 20:27

Boiledbeetle · 05/02/2025 20:15

You can't just leave us hanging!

The squirrels in the central London parks tend to be pretty tame because they’re used to people feeding them nuts.

I’d just been for a run (so in shorts), I was walking along eating a flapjack & something clamped hard on my leg. I looked down & this squirrel was staring up at me. I pulled a small bit of the flapjack & dropped it because what else are you going to do in that situation? Apparently it was sufficient.

I’ve also got a friend who was out in brown cords & had a squirrel start to climb his leg, apparently mistaking him for a tree. He said he wasn’t sure which of them had the bigger shock.

Boiledbeetle · 05/02/2025 20:29

EmpressaurusKitty · 05/02/2025 20:27

The squirrels in the central London parks tend to be pretty tame because they’re used to people feeding them nuts.

I’d just been for a run (so in shorts), I was walking along eating a flapjack & something clamped hard on my leg. I looked down & this squirrel was staring up at me. I pulled a small bit of the flapjack & dropped it because what else are you going to do in that situation? Apparently it was sufficient.

I’ve also got a friend who was out in brown cords & had a squirrel start to climb his leg, apparently mistaking him for a tree. He said he wasn’t sure which of them had the bigger shock.

Squirrel Come At Me Bro GIF

Thank you x

GailBlancheViola · 05/02/2025 20:33

EmpressaurusKitty · 05/02/2025 20:27

The squirrels in the central London parks tend to be pretty tame because they’re used to people feeding them nuts.

I’d just been for a run (so in shorts), I was walking along eating a flapjack & something clamped hard on my leg. I looked down & this squirrel was staring up at me. I pulled a small bit of the flapjack & dropped it because what else are you going to do in that situation? Apparently it was sufficient.

I’ve also got a friend who was out in brown cords & had a squirrel start to climb his leg, apparently mistaking him for a tree. He said he wasn’t sure which of them had the bigger shock.

That reminds me of Rylan being mugged by a fox which stole his wallet and him having to give a description of the suspect to the Police. Well officer he had a big red bushy tail 😁

CaptainFuture · 05/02/2025 20:34

Boiledbeetle · 05/02/2025 20:23

But what if I can't! It's just too risky, just put me in armbands if I'm near a pool!

Errrrmm you just you can swim and are the bestest and ta-da. .. 🥇🥇🥇 words =truth...!!!

GailBlancheViola · 05/02/2025 20:34

Boiledbeetle · 05/02/2025 20:29

Thank you x

There is something rather disturbing about that gif😆

larklane17 · 05/02/2025 20:38

GailBlancheViola · 05/02/2025 20:34

There is something rather disturbing about that gif😆

I thought that.
It's not just the nuts display.
I think it is a red squirrel identifying as a grey one.

ErrolTheDragon · 05/02/2025 20:40

MyrtleLion · 05/02/2025 20:26

This thread is brilliant! I lurked here when it went up and left when the OP flounced off. I missed a treat.

Dragons, dinosaurs, not-dinosaurs, pronunciation (didn't the diplodocus used to be pronounced brontosaurus?), beetles and teacakes (good chance you'll see them together, but not for long), badgers and everything!

How do we get it added to Classics?

You report it to mn (reports aren't only for bad stuff) they have a committee who decide if it's classics-worthy. But then it would get moved to the Classics board - I think this thread belongs forever right here on FWR and wouldn't make any sense anywhere else (insofar as it makes sense!)

GailBlancheViola · 05/02/2025 20:45

lcakethereforeIam · 05/02/2025 00:17

Male spiders inseminate the females using their pedipalps, the things that look like tiny boxing gloves, on their faces.

I'm going back to this post because we have had an incident with a quite large spider who put up his little boxing gloves in a very defiant manner at husband who was trying to move him on.

So many questions: Was the spider throwing down the gauntlet for a willy measuring contest with husband? Does the spider win by default as he has two and they have a better name? Was he mercilessly taunting and taking the piss out of husband due to the above?

We need to know.

ChishiyaBat · 05/02/2025 20:48

EmpressaurusKitty · 05/02/2025 20:27

The squirrels in the central London parks tend to be pretty tame because they’re used to people feeding them nuts.

I’d just been for a run (so in shorts), I was walking along eating a flapjack & something clamped hard on my leg. I looked down & this squirrel was staring up at me. I pulled a small bit of the flapjack & dropped it because what else are you going to do in that situation? Apparently it was sufficient.

I’ve also got a friend who was out in brown cords & had a squirrel start to climb his leg, apparently mistaking him for a tree. He said he wasn’t sure which of them had the bigger shock.

squirrel GIF

What a little flapjack-jacking, fluffy tailed bastard! Look at him enjoying your oaty goodness!

ErrolTheDragon · 05/02/2025 20:49

I was climbed by a grey squirrel in York once. Fortunately I was wearing a thick duffel coat. I'm only 5'1" so I'm not sure why it bothered.

MyrtleLion · 05/02/2025 20:53

ErrolTheDragon · 05/02/2025 20:49

I was climbed by a grey squirrel in York once. Fortunately I was wearing a thick duffel coat. I'm only 5'1" so I'm not sure why it bothered.

But but but... Aren't you twelvety meters tall with a wingspan of lots???

Boiledbeetle · 05/02/2025 21:08

MyrtleLion · 05/02/2025 20:53

But but but... Aren't you twelvety meters tall with a wingspan of lots???

I'm just imagining a dragon in a duffel coat doing a Paddington hard stare right now.

lcakethereforeIam · 05/02/2025 21:17

GailBlancheViola · 05/02/2025 20:45

I'm going back to this post because we have had an incident with a quite large spider who put up his little boxing gloves in a very defiant manner at husband who was trying to move him on.

So many questions: Was the spider throwing down the gauntlet for a willy measuring contest with husband? Does the spider win by default as he has two and they have a better name? Was he mercilessly taunting and taking the piss out of husband due to the above?

We need to know.

I think some species of spider come on to the females by seductively waving their pedipalps at them. Sort of an unsolicited/soliciting cock(s) shot. It's entirely possible your husband was in there.

My fella got climbed by a squirrel in Holland Park. We think it was going for his nuts pockets...going for his pockets. Could have been worse, we saw loads of rats while walking through Hyde Park.

ChishiyaBat · 05/02/2025 21:25

Now i'm really jealous that a squirrel has never wanted to climb my 4foot 10 frame. i need to get to this park asap, With nuts&flapjacks!

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