Now here are some questions
About what you do.
When putting your shoes on,
Might you, or DO you:
Wear socks with your crocs, Or need handles for sandals?
Keep jellies in wellies,
Going barefoot in barefoots?
Do you shuffle in slippers all day and all night,
Or squeeze on those high heels to increase your height?
Do you take off your shoes when you enter the house,
Or trail mud up the stairs whilst swearing in Scouse?
Might you keep kinky boots in the wardrobe or shed,
Use support hose when you're lying in bed?
However you answer it's quite up to you,
No judgement for wearing any type of shoe.
But when you complain about bunions and blisters,
Expect to be grilled by your mumsnet sisters.
They won't take flannel or waffle or lies,
You must open up and explain all the whys,
Soon they'll come forward with offers of help,
Or else let you whimper and cry and yelp.
Don't take it too personally, when you're ignored,
Just leave them behind and join a different board.