Do you talk about this stuff in your "real" life?

[DungareesAndTrombones]

Just pondering after having a disagreement with a distant friend on social media about the boxing debacle, where she and lots of her mates disagree with my view that the most important thing should be protecting women...

Do you talk about this stuff in your real life? I do to close friends but I would never share anything on my own social media, and I've said a couple of things at work but pretty sure I would get the sack if I said my actual views. I've got a younger team member who hates JKR with a passion and I spend time biting my tongue when she speaks about her.

Why does it feel so worrying for me being GC to speak out but other people who think TWAW are free to plaster it everywhere?

I've been explaining guevedoces to my teens all day, they're gob-smacked by the thought

They go back to FIFA and then reappear an hour later with more questions!

My late DH's family is very gender ideology sceptic - not one of the adults would say TWAW (would laugh at people who did) and seem to keep a careful guard on the DC, in that this sort of nonsense is shown to be nonsense. My late DH thought that I was a bit OTT, but was definitely GC.

Careful with DD, but agree that TWAW goes too far, but people should live as they please but not impinge on others' rights. DS was intially TWAW but has changed his mind as DC have got older.
So I talk about it with family if it comes up (rarely), and as I am retired put stuff on FB if I want. Usually avoid the topic in social gatherings or with people I know only slightly (suspect I spent some time with TWAW-types this week but it did not come up).

I'm so disappointed in my dh. He says the boxer is a woman and so is Caster Semenya! He doesn't know why I get so worked up and says I shouldn't read so much social media! I'm fucking raging and a bit sad 😔 . Tries to shut down what I'm trying to explain

Never

At home we agree
At work it's best to avoid
Friends disagree so we don't discuss

Has he not seen the "my testicles don't make me less of a woman" interview?!

I am a teacher and I know that a lot of my colleagues agree with me, but we are very aware of the general twaw “rule” and affirmation that we have to follow. It is very hard when you work with these young people daily. I can clearly see that what they need is a lot of help accepting themselves and that just pretending that they are now a boy/girl is not solving any problems at all. I despair for our young people.

Absolutely 💯 this. Bravo 👏

💐

The (inter)national media has done a confusing, and at times outright dreadful, job of covering these cases and it leaves a lot of people believing the opposite of reality.

I can understand how you feel: it is very dispiriting when someone important to you doesn’t take you seriously, but your OH doesn’t have all the information you have and perhaps doesn’t want to know that information because it would cause cognitive dissonance that he would prefer not to experience - not everyone is open to and comfortable with changing their mind when presented with new evidence.

Also, even the very best of men have very different life experience than women and so don’t always view issues that negatively affect women as important. That’s why places like Mumsnet and Ovarit are so valuable, they allow us to express ourselves when we’re unable to do it offline.

Show him that photo of Caster Semanya as a teenager on the beach, and ask him if that looks like a teenage girl on a school trip.

Oh, and the manspreading interview.

Not only is he not a woman, it's a complete lie that he was brought up as a girl.

I think my mask is slipping!!

I was talking about a Robert Galbraith book today and my (miles younger, very woke) colleague said

Colleague: "Isn't that JK Rowlings pen name?"
Me: "yeah it is SUCH a good book"
Colleague: "But don't we hate JKR?!"
Me: "I don't hate her one bit I think she should be Queen of the World"
Colleague "well I hate her for her trans views"
Other Colleague "yeah I hate her too"

👸 😷 😬

I did briefly venture into conversation during Covid but never really tired again.

What surprised me is that I’ve had two others breach it - one was a friend who just randomly came out and said about her issues with the trans stuff and another was actually my Sikh male boss, who (when discussing the ‘suggested’ pronouns at work said he agreed with JKR and mentioned his daughters agreeing too).

Hardly ever.

I often think I'd like to mention it and I'd definitely join in if someone brought it up.

Weirdly the one person who I have discussed single sex spaces with online (old school friend) has a teen dd who's looking very NB...I'm pretty sure she's GC as she used to make a fuss about boys/girls clothes/toys when the dc were little. I often wonder how she's dealing with it.

If you don't talk about it you're letting everyone down. This rubbish flourishes because people don't talk about it.

This is the time to speak up..

"which trans views exactly?"

"....umm...."

I gave my first speech at LWS last Sunday, it took 18 months, but I did it.

Surely your next question should be 'what has she actually said that is transphobic' and then watch them squirm as they realise they have just been parroting someone else's lines from X/Twitter.

Reminds of that school teacher student exchange that was doing the rounds a while back.

I don't think that would make anyone squirm, because what they are referring to is based in their the belief that naming someone's sex is transphobic, that not believing trans women are women is transphobic - JKR clearly doesn't believe that (neither do I). The question 'but what has she said that's transphobic' is every bit as parroted as the things they are saying.

I would say what I thought if it was unavoidable but mostly I stay quiet. It doesn't come up very much (I don't have many friends).

I'm also an atheist in an area where most people are religious and I keep quiet about that in a similar way (I won't lie about it but I try to avoid mentioning it).

Ultimately I am a coward. I'm very grateful to the brave people who do raise their voices.

DH and I do discuss it though, we both think the same way.