Smear appointment reminder with a Mx

[catin8oots]

Have a routine smear booked at my local surgery and just received a reminder text saying it will be with Mx Firstname Surname.

I have no idea if this person is a biological woman or a biological man.

Can I call and ask?

Keri is the kind of name people who change gender tend to use.

Yeah. Most vaginas (post childbirth, STD infected, etc) they see aren't exactly going to be in tip top shape. Hardly the stuff of fantasies – often stuff of nightmares.

Same for doctors who do men's reproductive organs before anyone accuses me of shaming vaginas or whatnot.

Wasn't just asking if she could confirm the biological sex of a NB counsellor to a sexual assault victim what brought the bullying shit storm down on the head of the woman working at Edinburgh Rape Crisis? The organisation ran at that time by a transwoman, who is still working there.

Not a transwoman because no GRC. Can safely refer to him as the man he is.

A receptionist won't have access to personal information on staff records, and even if they did, data on employees' biological sex is not usually collected.

All the receptionist can say is "as far as she knows" because that's all there is. She can't give you more information because she likely doesn't have it. Not sure what else you expect short of her looking between the person's legs.

Just go to the appointment, and if you're not happy with the person doing it on the day, postpone it.

Also, most transwomen would use Ms/ Miss.

My boss uses MX because she hates the idea of titles - AT ALL. Because they are sexist and outdated.

Would you also ask for your C-section, emergency or otherwise, to be solely done by male staff? Honestly, I don't get this at all. Ask for a chaperone if you wish, but medical professionals are just that, medical professionals.

What a confusion! I would want a definite female nurse - I think I would cancel and rebook for another date - maybe try to book with who you went with last time (if it was the same practice). A smear is bad enough at the best of times without worrying about this too :(

I genuinely can't understand why so many women want a female doing a Medical procedure other than that you are literally sexualising a Medical procedure.
What if it's end up being a lesbian?🤣

I'd imagine the most likely possibility would be a (natal) female nurse who identifies as non-binary or some such like. Can't imagine the average TW would forgo an opportunity to revel in Ms- or Miss-ness.

That's you sexualising it. Unable to conceive of any other reason that someone may want female care. Well done you <insert inane emoji>

Eh? I don't think men will be turned on by my saggy genitals or boobs. I prefer women because I am more comfortable with women. I have no problem with a lesbian examing me.
Women wanting women to do intimate procedures is now sexualisation? So many handmaidens!

It doesn't matter what the prefix is. You are perfectly entitled to ask. The amount of, presumably, women getting all huffy because another woman might have & enforce boundaries though is quite a sight to see.

Of course. Dr is fine. Any title is fine if it accurately identifies the person.
I suppose I worded my post badly anyway. Male hcp is fine to me. Female hcp is fine to me. Hcp who doesn't understand biology enough to know that male and female don't change not so fine for me.

Although, on the other hand, I might not necessarily know it was a transperson. Maybe I'm outraged for nothing

I'm confused, are lesbians not women?

Someone on the thread already has tried to insinuate that any men in the profession is only doing it as a sexual fetish though.

I am gobsmacked that if my 80 year old mum asks for a female nurse to help her go to the loo or help her bathe, it might be interpreted as sexualising the situation. We must put up with anyone that offers!

No one is sexualising a medical procedure. The worry is that the male doctor will sexually assault us. This is especially a worry for people who are traumatised from previous assault and abuse, and who as a result are unable to have men perform intimate exams. There is no evidence of lesbians being prone to assault, the same cannot be said of men. Hope that clears things up.

@BeachParty Yes that person can be ignored. The point is women must have the power to choose in intimate procedures. In case of emergencies, obviously not. But for a smear test or similar, choice should be allowed.

Well yes, because it is just as stupid logic saying that they might just be in the profession to get off on women's bits if they're a man than if it's a woman who's a lesbian too must be - both ridiculous and offensive scenarios, think that's the whole point being made!

Here is the thing. By Keri bringing his or her politics to work, he or she is putting the OP off attending her smear. It has undermined trust in her GP practice and the OP no longer has full confidence that her dignity will be respected.

This isn't patient centred care.

In this case the OP has tried to follow up and clarify the situation, but a) initially felt they may be committing a hate crime for asking despite this being an intimate examination b) still doesn't have complete trust in the GP telling the truth because of publicised cases of NHS trusts gaslighting patients and staff.

A reminder: you can always refuse to have an intimate examination with ANYONE you don't feel comfortable with. If you are pressured because otherwise you are transphobic or because 'there isn't anyone else' this isn't ok - consent given under pressure isnt valid. It's under duress.

The point here is how many other patients who have a similar letter, won't attend their smear? Even one is too many as it's a potential harm.

OP I would put this in writing and say you feel it's insensitive and potentially unprofessional. If the staff member in question is trans or non-binary patient should be fully informed. This might be different for other situations or other medical examination but absolutely not ok for smears.

OP walk out if you feel uncomfortable in anyway.

No one is sexualising a medical procedure

Have you read the thread?

Surely the argument here, is that titles are reductive and sexist and shouldnt be used AT ALL?

Imagine Keri just chose Mx on the drop down form because she thought it was a nice neutral title like Dr, and then she has to read reams of your frothing lol

Why does it matter to you if other women are only comfortable with females for such an intimate procedure?

At least fifth of women are sexually assaulted at some point and 99.999% it’s by a male. Is it really a stretch to understand that a lot of those women might find an intimate procedure very uncomfortable, triggering or even distressing if it’s performed by a man?

And for some women it’s just for their own privacy, dignity and comfort levels. In the same way it’s more dignified and private to have female-only changing room spaces and toilets, that can also extend to being naked/exposed in medical situations and being more comfortable with only females there.

I couldn’t care less about offending male doctors.

I'd call if you don't want a (man) person with Penis definitely contact them.