Smear appointment reminder with a Mx

[catin8oots]

Have a routine smear booked at my local surgery and just received a reminder text saying it will be with Mx Firstname Surname.

I have no idea if this person is a biological woman or a biological man.

Can I call and ask?

Sorry I see you spoke to somebody I don't why Keri chose Mx Keri is a tool!

Well perhaps you should actually listen rather than being dismissive.

It's an intimate examination. There are reasons why some women might only want a female. Some are to do with a previous traumatic experience. Others might not be allowed to due to their faith.

This is ok. It's an intimate procedure which has extra sensitivities. The same actually applies to men for intimate procedures because there is extra concerns over consent.

What you say pressures women into situations they are uncomfortable in. This could constitute undue pressure in certain situations. It undermines the principles of informed consent.

It never fails to amaze me how narrow-minded people who think they are inclusive sometimes are when they do performative virtue signalling that they don't care and they don't understand other people's problems. Acknowledge other people have different values and life experience and it is worthy of respect in this country to not adhere to the idea that a male is a female and that there are sex based rights to privacy and dignity.

You don't have to fight stupid with stupid, really. You can just accept that women have a right to choose the sex of their intimate care providers for whatever reason.
I am sure male HCPs will survive having their feelings hurt.

I’d have said ‘seriously - you don’t know if this person is a man or a woman?’

never met a male Mx though.

"frothing"

Funny.

Nope, my money is that she a bolshy woman like me who had it up to here with gender this and that and pronouns, and now playing the idiots in charge at their own game

i use Ms in ,y title now to known individuals, then use Mx when patriarchal twats have implemented gender stereotype thinking . All my membership cards to women organsations are now in Mx titles followed only by my 3 initials - ha, means I can share my memebrship cards with male relatives, more fool them

or other alternative is she a trans man or “asexual” … I’m an asexual for that matter as I’m now 65 and can’t be bothered with men or sex now …that makes me part of the latest minority victim group I think ..hey I’m a victim of discrimination apparently 🥳

My money is on this nurse being a biological woman who identifies as non-binary. Trans identifying men don't want to be non-binary, they want to be regarded as female in all circumstances, so they wouldn't miss an opportunity to be referred to as Miss/Mrs/Ms.

I have recently been considering changing my title to Ms or Mx as I feel too old to be a Miss and I had no idea Mx would make people think I might be a TW

That would be one solution.

I use Miss, Mrs or Ms cos I find the whole titles thing farcical. My bank were asking for me to provide zillions of paper work to change from Miss to Ms/Mrs at which point I couldn't be arsed with the hassle. I didn't change my name for precisely this reason so I wasn't about to defeat the object of that by fannying about to satisfy their ridiculousness.

So yeah I'm totally onboard with ditching the dumb things.

No, I meant it! I know lots of people in my field (adjacent to medical) who refuse to use gendered titles anymore because it affects their opportunities and their life, eg at conferences, with patients pre appointment. Imagine if Keri is like oh god what the f is all this frothing to start my week off with 😂

@VotesForWomen go with Ms .

@Est1990
Count yourself fortunate if you've no experience of sexual violence and trauma but accept that others do. The procedure and who carries it out can have a huge impact on nervous system regulation for those who have survived it.

"refuse to use gendered titles anymore because it affects their opportunities"

and yet people are supposed to state their pronouns. Funny old world

I'm a female nurse who uses Mx - I never realised it was controversial - I thought it was nicer than Miss - as that makes me sound like an old maid or a young girl when I am neither of these & I don't like Mrs as I'm not married.

No I'm also being totally serious in calling you out for dismissing someone's concerns over an intimate examination as 'frothing'.

Women should be encouraged to voice any and every concern or issue or share anything that might put them off having a smear.

Calling it 'frothing' is an attempt to silence and belittle women from communicating important things to them. This is a matter of trust.

So yes. Hahaha I'm laughing so very hard my sides are splitting.

I hope you feel proud.

I want to see nurses who identify as nurses. I don't give a flying fuck what sex they identify as or are.

I'd insist a Mx addressed me as Mrs and sweetly say it's the title I prefer because I'm a married woman. Actually, I wouldn't want to see someone who called themselves Mx. Too right on for me.

But it doesn't mean anything and causes confusion and as an aside it sounds like a dominatrix title imo 😂

I’m 60 plus now and mum of 3 dc. I’ve had my “fair share” of both men and women giving me intimate exams or procedures.

in my overwhelming experience, the procedure is way quicker, less uncomfortable and I felt way less vulnerable with women doing it. Whether that’s practice nurses, gynae, obstetricians or midwives. Yep, had a few off hand female practioners, but I have not had a women practioner tell me “to pull myself together”, “do you have a particularly low pain threshhold? ” or “you’re making a fuss over nothing”, all of which have been said by male pratictioners after ignoring a ovarian cyst the size of my full term babies head I was carrying at the time, putting in a coil and the very first time I had a smear by an overfamiliar Gp who had already insisted on a breast exam in days when asking for chaperone wasn’t a known thing and taking an unseemly relish about the soap and water process for breast exams. Now I come to think of it I also never had a female doctor tell meat age of 23, when getting my pill prescription renewed in front of Gp, that I really ought to be getting married and having children by now as my fertility would be ending soon if I didn’t watch out.

nah, it is not the same. Yes, if it’s an emergency then I’ll take any qualified practioner , but this isn’t an emergency. yep, you can get a bumber female practioner but not this level of dismissal, arrogance, patronisation and creepiness

Absolutely this. Do you really expect women from conservative communities to have a speculum shoved up them by a man? As it is, most women don;t go for smears or mammos, because they find them intrusive and humiliating.
Let's not deter them further by having men doing them.

Can you read?!

Sorry my last comment meant for @babadumm not @RedToothBrush. Accusing women of frothing for having boundaries is just awful.

I can. You seem to be far morer worried about Keri's muddled head than actual women.

Sure it's fine and encouraged to civilly voice aspects for improvement, but practices & trusts already get a million not-so-civilly-voiced complaints a day, based on millions of kinds of ideologies. How we cope and survive is humour. So yes it would be funny if Keri thought "oh what a nice gender neutral option" and then ends up having to deal with all of this outrage bright and early on a Monday morning 😂

As someone who uses Mx, it’s perfectly fine to ask a question like that as a preference thing for something so personal, but I probably wouldn’t word it like that, as most likely they are non-binary like myself and you still wouldn’t get the answer you require,
the person will most likely have had the question asked before as well.

Hilarious indeed. Women wanting women HCPs is now an ideology.