Trans people; why is it our responsibility?

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Okay, so trans identifying folks say that they need access to women's spaces because they aren't safe in men's spaces. I get that, but it is a problem caused by men. Therefore the solution should be about men, not women. So why isn't the main focus on targeting these men, campaigning for harsher penalties for such hate crimes? Why instead are they expecting women to compensate them for male behavior, making ourselves feel less safe in the process?

I would love for a trans identifying person to answer that question.
Has anyone here ever asked a trans person this question and received an honest answer?

I'm not hardcore "terf" as I respect everyone's right to decide who and what they are. My problem with it is when it conflicts with other people's rights to safety and security. I would really like to them to tell us why the violent men who cause this problem are being let off the hook and women are the ones targeted with all this anti-terf hate.

I know there is violence towards them, but it tends to be street violence and dating violence, not in public restrooms. Bashers aren't hanging out in the pisser waiting for a trans to walk in.

They might give them the side eye, though, if they walk into the gents dressed as a woman. Especially if they pass as a woman

This. Absolutely this. It is absolutely enraging to watch women bend over backwards yet again for men (cosplaying as women).

Universities in the UK are getting gender neutral toilets now as part of the Athena Swan awards - this may well be the way it’s going

Bullies are known for being cowards. That's why they punch down.
I don't think it's bullying to want to be in women's spaces, but it's bullying to demand it.

Sex is real, gender is sexist stereotypes, that's why we are critical of it. Liking pink doesn't make someone a woman, being female does.

There is "logic" in that only if you accept an entitlement to have women sacrifice themselves for you. If you have that entitlement, how can you say you're a woman? That's purely male.

Sex and gender are two totally different things.
Sex is biological and unchangeable. Gender (if you believe in it) seems to be a set of socially accepted behavioural stereotypes. People of either sex can exhibit a huge variation of behaviours, appearances and attitudes. All should be respected but you cannot legislate on the characteristic of gender as it is fluid and impossible to define without resort to stereotypes.
Legislation is only possible on the fixed characteristic of sex.

You feel the same way I do. Apparently that makes us terfs in the eyes of trans extremists.

You said telling a Transwomen (man) he is a man, would be illegal in the UK.

It's not.

My point stands.

You say you acknowledge biology. What is a transwoman? What is a woman?

How can I describe them without falling foul of your "laws"?

Exactly so.

Trans women’s rights are men’s rights. Nobody wants to take away the rights of any men even the sub set of men that are trans women.

no.
I am not afraid of transwomen. I am worried that men will take advantage of us being unable to say "you're a man, get out of the ladies" and frankly it is a bit thick of you not to understand this. You haven't been listening, have you?

Women (and men) deserve single sex spaces for reasons of privacy and dignity. My 83 year old mum doesn't want to be around men in hospital, even men who genuinely believe they are women much less the acronym brigade who get off on women like her being uncomfortable. etc etc.

stop conflating two issues.

Good questions.

I'm afraid you are a terf. Your point about the safety of women and girls makes you one. Welcome to the club.

'This conversation seems a bit out of hand'
That is often what a man will say when a woman is making her point, because he is a man and thinks his point of view overrides the woman's.

Yes.

Stop discussing women's rights to safety, privacy and dignity you bunch of absolute bigots.

Take. A. Bow!!!!

So, I have worked out that I am a terf. Now I have to decide what sort of terf.
It's all very complicated!

please explain the transphobia here.

You have seen on this thread a woman explain how because men go into women's spaces, some women now self-exclude.

I hope you are happy that you are shutting already marginalised women out of their day-to-day lives and shrinking their world to their own four walls.

Slow fucking handclap

I always thought it means you refuse to accept it when trans call themselves women. I accept it. They can call themselves anything they like. I just don't want anyone with a penis and testosterone in women's rape crisis centers and domestic abuse shelters. I don't really care about toilets. People in toilets aren't in a particularly vulnerable position, but rape and DV victims are. I would accept them if they have had sex reassignment surgery and hormonal treatment. I had assumed a hardcore terf would not.

They will indeed.

Not at my place they're not.
Aston University however...
https://www.aston.ac.uk/latest-news/aston-university-wins-athena-swan-gold-award-gender-equality

You're nitpicking. The emphasis is on hardcore. Yes, extreme terfs who refuse to accept that they have the right to be referred to as women if they like do exist.

"hardcore terf" = anyone who isn't a fantasist or has a grasp of safeguarding

That's all fine,as long as they're minding their own business in spaces that correspond to their biological sex.

Which is male.