It’s really interesting seeing the passion but fuzziness with which some people argue. The actual subject is interesting: can you consent to paid sex. I think yes you can, others disagree with some good reasoning. And part of that discussion should revolve around comparing sex to other acts things people do for money, and also what other relationships look like in terms of their nature.
The transactional idea is interesting and transactional vs reciprocal might be interesting if either of the posters had discussed what the terms actually meant.
I do think that many old fashioned relationships were definitely transactional, starting with the arranged marriages of royalty and ‘good’ families, and even going through the traditional ‘marrying well’ and accepting a role as a housewife (using the term appropriate to the age I am talking about -1950s to mid 1970s). Another version closer to prostitution was the ‘kept’ mistress, a woman who was set up with an income and a nice flat in a semi nice area (nice enough to live but not so nice you might bump into his wife-Bayswater was very popular for this once upon a time).
And finally, when I was younger, working in the City, the way the bars would pack out with young women who worked miles away, coming in for both a fun paid for evening (in the days when buying drinks for people was normal and non risky) and maybe to ‘snare’ a rich banker. ‘Marrying up’ or ‘marrying rich’ was, and still is, to a lesser extent, a real thing.
But that doesn’t mean all relationships are transactional or that relationships can’t have a degree of transactionality and also a degree of love. Look at the relationships board and the horrible new expression ‘they aren’t meeting your needs’, where ‘needs’ can stand for amount of sex, sharing enough housework or having a regular job and bringing in enough money. Hardly a romantic idyll!
There is of course a big difference between all the above and being a prostitute, namely that they are one to one over a long period, rather than one to many over a short period. But, like with most things, there is a grey area; was the paid mistress who was ‘kept’ by 3 or 4 men unknowingly more like a high class prostitute today?
Like most things in life, it’s not clear cut. Throwing 3 word slogans at each other won’t solve real world problems, which is why there isn’t one clear cut approach to regulating or banning prostitution around the World. The Nordic model, much loved on this board, because it penalises mainly men, hasn’t worked and has just driven a lot underground (and, for those who say it has reduced it, how do you know? Once something is underground, you don’t get good statistics).