Oh dear

[GnomeDePlume]

I finally 'came out' to my DS(25) & DH that I believe TW are men.

Got a strong lecture from DS about how that means I am Transphobic. He has now gone off in a huff.

DH has gone silent.

Up until now we have kind of skirted the issue. From time to time I have been lectured on the apparent evil of JKR.

But the bravery of MNers in standing up to this IRL meant that I felt I could no longer continue saying nothing in my own home.

I think they are all caught by the be kind thought. But as JKR has pointed out, we are past the point of being kind. The medical scandal laid bare in the Cass report is where being kind has got us.

I've lost the attribution in my notes (Joe Wells?) but do you remember this helpful guidance?

TV Idea: #NotAllSnakes Men who say "Not All Men" are introduced to a variety of snakes. Not all of them are venomous.

I'm fairly confident that a number of us would take a subscription to a channel to see #BeKind men take the* *#NotAllSnakes challenge.

Well done OP.

Do you know why I think it feels big? I think maybe your family is seeing you step out of peacekeeper-safe-space Mum, and into Mum as an actual human being with feelings and conflicting opinions which come from on experience & deserve to be listened to. That's not how the game goes! Who changed the rules?!

You can agree to disagree, but I'd draw the line at temper tantrums & personal slurs. Like fuck should you be made to feel bad in your own home for saying what you know to be true. That emperor is definitely naked.

TWAW is a man's rights movement, it's just the other side of the MRA coin & if men want to go to bat on this, they need to at least admit that's what they're arguing for.

All the best.

Tell them you are cooking their favourite meal, then cook something they don’t like as much. Explain that you now call the meal on the table by the name of their favourite meal. You have redefined it and you don’t care what they call things, because you’re the one cooking and they’re just a bunch of food bigots. With shopping preferences, buy Aldi brown sauce instead of Heinz tomato ketchup, etc and insist that they are identical. Warn them that they may not want you doing laundry currently as you no longer have any sensible method by which to separate whites and colours. If you get any complaints, gently remind them that they are literally trying to redefine what you are, and have no room to talk whatsoever.

Oh, I like #notallsnakes

I’m shocked it’s taken you this long.

I bullied my family for months until they came over to the right side.

Sorry OP, that sounds depressing. And it's annoying how many husbands are fucking cowards on this issue - they just don't want the hassle so keep their head down, how nice for them.

Like you said I think it's disappointing to realise how little they give a shit about women and girls.

Just identify as a transman. If they want to eat, they get into the kitchen. If they expect food to be in the kitchen then they do the shopping. If they expect clean clothes then they do the laundry.

Or just tell them to give their heads a wobble and fucking grow up and show their mother/wife the respect that you have earned.

I love this. The #NotAllSnakes challenge - what a perfect way of demonstrating the problem with men in women’s spaces. Can we nominate Humza and Harvie first up?

That's brilliant.

Teenagers are inclined to think they know everything and have figured it all out way better than their stupid parents. I remember the feeling well. Add in the potential for the Internet to groom them with perfect little arguments to prove everything they think they know, producing a kind of kindred euphoria that their generation have FINALLY been the ones to UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING and there is just no winning. If they haven't got it now you are probably going to need to wait it out and hope for an epiphany when they are 30+

@Deadringer do you mind if i ask whether the twaw and the gc children are divided by age?

Exactly this. Well done OP

I asked my 16 year old grandson what he and his friends thought about it - he said 'oh we just all take the piss out of it at school' out of the mouths of babe I thought

Yes, elder dc are 25, 30 and 33 and gc, younger two are 20 and 15.

I'm not that sure it matters if it is.

Definitely show him the Warren Smith video - which didn’t seem staged to me, but as @niadainud says it’s irrelevant whether it is or it isn’t, the points stand true.

It's not even a belief that they're men. It's a simple fact. Humans can't change sex however delusional or fetishistic they are, and nobody is "born in the wrong body".

He's been interviewed alot since.
Here's a link to Andrew Doyle substack and interview:

https://andrewdoyle.substack.com/p/to-embrace-the-pursuit-of-truth

I think this might have been the case for DH who just didn't completely get it until he got an email from work on a Sunday informing him that Ben was now Bella (she/her) and there would be training to do. He went down some interesting rabbit holes in the following few weeks. I think he wouldn't even have peaked at that point if I hadn't forwarded him a Debbie Hayton article a few month earlier, figuring that he was only ever going to listen to a bloke.

Ds1 is a lost cause, in with his furry autistic online friends.

Tell your son you now identify as a man. And as a man you will no longer be doing any cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry or any other “woman work” for him.

Id ask them how they'd feel if they walked into a bathroom alone and a gang of young males were in there. Men will never see women as a threat but I would imagine most would feel at least slightly intimidated by a group of potentially threatening young males.

Not quite the same I know but the only way I can think to describe that uncomfortable, unsettling feeling most women will experience when faced with a potential threat - even if that threat turns out to be totally benign.

A man may not feel uneasy if another man is walking behind him on a dark street but I bet many would if a gang of rowdy young men were. You need* them to understand that uneasy feeling for them to get why women want and need their own spaces

OFC most men will go through their lives without ever being hassled by a gang of males, yet most women have experienced some sort of unwanted sexual contact from a man so their feelings of unease are even more justified!

• if you cba that is - im so tired of this shit I couldn't tolerate their privileged bullshit!

Men believe that TWAW because they listen to men more than they listen to women. This says everything you need to know. Despite their "woke" credentials they are subconsciously listening to the men in the room.

This first paragraph reminds me of a quote I saw online;

Women: We don't actually exist just to please men.

Men: What is this feminazi bullshit?

Solidarity with you OP. Could you have a conversation with your son about what he imagines a female bodied person's life experiences might encompass? How much thought would he say he has given to, for instance, a woman's feelings about the rape culture we live in?

Oscar de la Renta said to his runway models "walk like you have three men walking behind you". He thought it meant walk sexily and provocatively. Women think it means run.

It wasn’t staged. It went viral, and was an exercise in developing critical thinking by the lecturer/tutor in his university students.

The backlash from TRAs was unbelievable and vicious.