Sexist and dangerous Samaritans ad

[Meadowbird]

https://twitter.com/samaritans/status/1760599123923722266

A really bizarre ad - encouraging lone women to approach disturbed men on deserted train station platforms and ask them out for a coffee. What could possibly go wrong? They also will become sexier if they do apparently.

That's all well and good but why did the intervener have to be a woman, and why was the resistant half frumpy and the motivated half wearing makeup? Why did the conversation have to be about coffee?

There are many disturbing threads about Samaritans and the misuse and abuse of women volunteers on FWR.

I must admit the recent news that Scarlett Blake volunteered for them along with other notoriously dangerous people has given me greater pause for thought about their recruitment policies and due diligence.

The only wrong thing about this advert is that you wouldn’t ask for the whereabouts of a coffee on a platform. “Is the next train the London train?” Would be less weird.

Maybe the advert could have used a woman approaching a woman or a man approaching a man but I do think more is being read into than the advert is trying to portray. I have been at a train station seriously contemplating throwing myself in front of a train, a woman approached me and asked if I was okay and spoke to me for around 5 minutes. It was enough to reset my frame of mind a bit and I didn’t end up doing it, it obviously didn’t solve anything long term but in that moment where my thinking was unclear it brought me back to reality enough that I was able to get myself safely home. I must have looked fairly unapproachable in that moment (crying, acting strange, my level of self-care at that point in my life was bad so hair unbrushed, uncoordinated clothing etc) and I’m glad that didn’t put the woman off from checking I was okay, I know as a woman I was likely seen as lower risk but the reality is suicide rates are highest among middle aged men so a campaign where only women are approached possibly wouldn’t be as helpful in terms of reaching those most likely to be in crisis.

furryfrontbottom · Today 11:34
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I would not be going anywhere near that man, whether or not there was a train track nearby. He exudes the sullen rage of a man who has just been kicked out by his girlfriend.”

Thats one hell of an assumption from a quick glance. Alternatively, he’s exuding extreme worry about a sick partner/relative or how the hell he’s going to pay the bills.

A few people on here need to watch an old broadsheet ad. A young skinhead in roll up jeans, steel toe caps and donkey jacket launching himself at an innocent passer by and throwing them to the ground.
seeing it from behind the young man, he was throwing said passer by out of the way of a falling palette of bricks from scaffolding above.

The world must be a very scary place to people who imagine that every unknown man they encounter is dangerous.

That paper was published in 2019 and also discusses a previous campaign so is before the 2024 advert so it doesn't say anything about it.

I included it because it's worth reading for the evidence and discussion to flesh out the final line in the abstract I quoted.

Our findings show clearly that anyone who wants to intervene can safely do so. Last-minute intervention requires no specific learning and can be highly effective when spontaneous and unscripted. In 2018, Network Rail in partnership with Samaritans launched a campaign entitled ‘Small Talk Saves Lives’, encouraging rail travellers simply to say ‘Hello’ and strike up a normal conversation if they are concerned about someone.28 Our data confirm that this campaign message is entirely appropriate as far as the initial approach to a vulnerable person is concerned. However, it fails to recognise the intense, prolonged and taxing nature of intervention, the complex juggling acts that interveners may have to perform in the course of trying to keep someone safe, and the troubling emotions they may be left with. It is no small thing to save a life. The conundrum for public education is how to prepare people adequately for the challenges they may face without deterring them from intervening.

I'd think it might be worth reading and considering by people interested in the topic. That's separate to the current advert.

Molko's experience is a scenario that is very similar to the discussions in that paper.

It was enough to reset my frame of mind a bit and I didn’t end up doing it, it obviously didn’t solve anything long term but in that moment where my thinking was unclear it brought me back to reality enough that I was able to get myself safely home.

I was in a cafe & saw a lone bloke who looked very distressed. He was rocking and muttering.

I went over to the counter, asked for the first aider & pointed him out.

I’d do that wherever possible rather than get involved directly.

Are you telling women that they don't understand their own lived experience?

Heart of glass. It literally is an ad telling women to override their instincts and go and talk to disturbed men. And it’s a man’s voice telling us to do it. And the images show that we’ll be confident and ‘cool’ if we do and nervous and ‘frumpy’ if we don’t.

Of course women understand their own lives experience, but you can’t always put your own personal experience onto every other situation. Maybe the female poster’s experience of a man looking like that was because he was furious his girlfriend had broken up with him, but that doesn’t mean it’s true that every man who looks at all upset is furious with an ex. Men are human and experience the full range of emotions that women do, a man can be upset about something other than a break up and experience emotions deeper than just blind rage.

Depressed people are not necessarily “disturbed” as you put it. So you think suicidal men don’t deserve support because some men are predators? You are not giving women much credit here by suggesting they can’t judge situations for themselves. If someone jumped in front of you I bet you’d wish you would’ve said or done something

Well yes because this is just an actor. You’ve said he’s full of rage because he’s been dumped. That’s projection in this case.

The world must be a very scary place to people who imagine that every unknown man they encounter is dangerous.

I think most women know that sadly that is the default for keeping yourself safe.

It’s not about my perception of who is dangerous or not, though it would be nice to be allowed to have one.

Ira about the expectation to be able to prevent a suicide and all the burden that comes with it.

You would think training staff to notice distressed individuals would be of more use. They could be much more attuned to unusual activity by passengers.

They do have trained staff sometimes. They usually have white vests and stay by the end of the platform.

I'm glad you're ok and hopefully in a better place now

Oh my fucking god....if we haven't had enough in the press lately about the lack of mental health services and the tragic repercussions of the public...

Now the Samaritans are actively encouraging young women to approach disturbed looking males....WTAF?

Why didn't they use a bloke? Or a elderly woman? Oh no, this disturbed man needs a pretty young girl to make his dick spring into action and think life's worth living after all.

Disgusting!

I didn’t say that. And I was responding to the suggestion that women are wrong to regard male strangers as potentially dangerous until proven otherwise. Sadly many women have learnt the hard way that this is the only safe approach.

I can't actually see the ad. I'm blocked by them. Anyone else ?

I like the idea, I'm out and about all day and make sure I make friendly small talk with all kinds of people, it really does make a difference.
But not approaching lone men. Sadly the bag eggs have ruined it for the many good ones. I honestly think womens fear of men has contributed to men feeling alone
Women support each other as it's safe to do so.
I make polite chat with men and they start coming on to me or being weird.
why couldn't they show a man approaching a man? Men being caring needs to be more normalised

bad*

I've made small talk at a bus stop with a man after we were both checking that we had the correct one for our destinations. The usual stuff "At least it's not raining" (there was no shelter), the vagaries of the bus company.

And then he sat behind me on the bus and started coming on to me. I was in my 60s.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow
Are you telling women that they don't understand their own lived experience?”

No. I was sexually, physically and emotionally abused by my brother and father. That means they were dangerous individuals. Nearly 60 years of life has taught me that most men are not and I refuse to live life scared.

That’s my lived experience. If other women choose to be scared of every man they encounter, that’s their choice.

Yep. My friend was potentially saved from throwing himself under a tube train by someone who did this.

He doesn't know whether he'd actually have done it, but he was pondering it. The guy asked him something random, and after my friend had stepped back and responded, resulting in a short conversation about the question (and he'd presumably lost that 'look' that the other guy had picked up on) the guy simply said "you okay mate?" and touched his arm, and my friend was able to say that he was.

So yes, a random question to break the moment, absolutely is effective.