Sexist and dangerous Samaritans ad

[Meadowbird]

https://twitter.com/samaritans/status/1760599123923722266

A really bizarre ad - encouraging lone women to approach disturbed men on deserted train station platforms and ask them out for a coffee. What could possibly go wrong? They also will become sexier if they do apparently.

Surely they are aware of Andys Man Club and the Shed one (sorry I cant remember the proper title). Men are quite capable and willing to look after each other. Talk to and support each other.

LadyG - explain the difference between the two women then? Explain the lack of consideration for young women’s safety?

ffs - it’s not posts like this that ‘give feminists a bad name’. It’s the fact that adverts like this still exist that means feminists still have to keep going!
Some people don’t like feminism because they don’t like having misogyny pointed out to them, or because they actually are misogynists themselves. I’m not going to be quite because these people don’t like what I’ve got to say.

As facts are important to you: factually, more woman attempt suicide. More men complete them.

Suicide statistics reveal that women are roughly three times more likely to attempt suicide, though men are two to four times more likely to die by suicide. Compared to men, women show higher rates of suicidal thinking, non-fatal suicidal behavior, and suicide attempts.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35598742/

https://cams-care.com/resources/educational-content/gender-statistics-in-suicide-behavior/

Given the potentially suicidal man is MUCH more likely to talk openly with a another MAN than a young woman (who appears to be awkwardly trying to chat him up - how unbelievably inappropriate under his circumstances!)

the add only makes sense if you think woman are uniquely designed to be support human.

Why are they not advocating for training for platform staff as this is stastically much more likely to reduce suicide.

Of competed suicides.

Women attempt suicide more often

X posted with @DrBlackbird's much better post.

This ad makes me angry.

When someone wants to commit suicide then nothing I can say will stop them. It's only going to make me, or the other women on that platform feel guilty we didn't stop it. Sometimes people don't want to be saved.

I don’t even think he was acting “oddly”. Clearly the ad campaigners haven’t been on a tube recently to see what odd behaviour actually is. My tube ride home the other day consisted of a bare foot man sliding his feet up and down the pole in middle of carriage then standing up and stretching and laughing to himself. Now that is odd behaviour and not just staring absent mindlessly into the distance. And no I didn’t ask bare foot man where to get a coffee!

And the difference between the good, caring, lipsticked version vs the dithering, uptight handbag clutching one is far too obvious, not in a good way.

It would have been better if her conversation opener had been something more neutral like ‘Is this the right platform for the train to Chesterfield?’ or even ‘Is everything ok?’

Or how about the perennial ‘Cheer up love’ or ‘Give us a smile,’ that miserable looking women get? 🙄

Asking where to get a coffee sounds like a chat up line, particularly as she says it in such a hesitant, almost simpering way.

Read it again: shes not wrong, as she specifed attempted suicide.
But you are also correct that there are more male deaths than female due to suicide.

Women are more likely to attempt suicide/have suicidal thoughts than men but the paradox is men are more likely to succeed when they make an attempt at suicide. So more suicidal ideation and attempts in women, but higher rates of completed suicide in men. This is normally ascribed to differences in method -men tend to use more immediately lethal means such as hanging, carbon monoxide poisoning, firearms, jumping from height, where women are more likely to take overdoses which can be regretted/discovered and have potential to be treated before fatality.

And plenty of men would take coffee chat as a come on from the woman and not believe their luck. Even middle aged men. You are asking for trouble saying that to a lone man.
better advice is tell the station officer on way out and go home.

How does speaking to a man in daylight make a woman unsafe?

Yes I’ve bumped into lots of weird blokes in train stations. I try to keep my head down and remain close to railway staff. Opting to approach an unknown bloke behaving oddly and asking them to go for a coffee is not something I would risk, however I’d be comfortable highlighting concerns to railway staff

LadyG - you are being disingenuous (or possibly you are a man yourself).

I don’t need to tell you that many men would interpret what she says as a chat up line, or that many men don’t like hearing no.
You don’t need to be told that standing between a disturbed stranger and the edge of the platform is a bad idea in case he lashes out and pushes
Ot that he might just tell her to fuck off.

I said attempt suicide. Read it properly

Yes, given many rail staff have been trained in suicide recognition / prevention, surely better dealt with under the existing, well-recognised 'see it, say it, sorted' umbrella i.e. 'see something risky or odd, alert staff'.

I understand that won't always work quickly enough - but if it's meant to be quick enough for a bomb...

But back to my risk assessment; once you know what risks the broad category of 'men behaving oddly' present, you're also better able to identify who the appropriate people to encourage engagement with them would be. Like, just a guess... similar age men.

This seems a strange advert to me .Surely its not up to a lone female to "help" someone who may be struggling ? Best to inform employee and let them deal with it

You’ve looked really hard to find what you have. I don’t see any of what you’re suggesting.

Are men only potentially dangerous at night then? Or are some men a potential danger no matter what time of day it is? How do we tell which ones those are?

No she's right.

More women ATTEMPT suicide than men

But more men SUCCESSFULLY kill themselves.

This is because men and women tend to try and kill themselves in different ways, with men using more violent methods which leave less room for survival.

I think this advert is fine. There are many stories of suicides that have been thwarted because (often women) people have just stopped to talk.

I was worried about a guy last week on a train. I chatted to him because of this reason. All was well but I don’t want to think we should be telling women that they are unsafe talking to men in these situations. I don’t function with that kind of fear in my every day life (despite being assaulted several times, but those are rare incidents compared to the thousands of interactions I’ve had).

I see. So women analysing the intended and unintended outcomes and implications of an ad is now inhumane?

And yet it should have been analysed thoroughly before being made and released.

You don’t think a man approaching another man would have been more powerful message to men?

No, it’s cos they thought, ‘men are shit at all that, they’ll never do it. Let’s put it all on women instead.’

If we extrapolate further - why have they chosen a black woman? Are black women here to serve and placate white men - as has happened throughout history?