Sexist and dangerous Samaritans ad

[Meadowbird]

https://twitter.com/samaritans/status/1760599123923722266

A really bizarre ad - encouraging lone women to approach disturbed men on deserted train station platforms and ask them out for a coffee. What could possibly go wrong? They also will become sexier if they do apparently.

Safeguarding risk as follows..

unknown bloke in a heightened state on the very very edge of a platform waiting for a train. Potentially impulsive and reactive bloke. Not known if drugs or alcohol involved. Not known if he will become physical if someone approaches.

lone woman

nothing is known about historic mental health, historic police involvement, historic dynamics with women. Does he carry weapons?

quiet train station, few people around.

inviting him for a drink would likely give the impression of a hook up

it would be safer for blokes or a couple to approach him. Alternatively a lone woman could notify a guard.

I think the problem is that of an independent organisation such as the Samaritans campaigning on a single issue, without perhaps considering everything in the round. Their role and purpose is suicide prevention, not preventing violence against women and girls.

How do you tell the difference between a potentially suicidal man and one who is thinking about pushing someone else under a train?

I think a bloke approaching might have been more powerful but I also think that a man who is suicidal might also perceive a male approaching them as a threat too. That's part of the problem. Women aren't perceived as a threat and that works in multiple ways. I do object to how this places the burden on women to resolve and I do think there are safety issues in just encouraging women to approach someone who might be in a mental health crisis for a variety of reasons (there are too many incidents of people being pushed onto the track never mind the suicidal element). Yes we all should be looking out for others but I also think it's a difficult point. And there is a lot to be said for talking to staff or other people on a platform before approaching a lone male.

Can you not see the person in the hi-vis vest in the background?

Wishmite, and that was your choice - do you think other women should be made to feel bad if they don’t wish to approach strange men?

Exactly!
Not only that, but I think there needs to be a big campaign directed at men explaining that helping others would be good for their own mental health and depression prevention. Think of 'give'- one of the 5 ways to wellbeing. Beginning helping others a little if you don't already (and massive generalisation- nearly all women already do, many to the point of burnout) would help men to help each other and themselves.

The logical course of action would be for the woman to approach the man in hi-vis to tell him of her concerns, then.

In terms of suicide rates, this is an area where the concept of intersectionality is actually useful, in young South Asian women suicide rate is seven times higher than that for males discovery.ucl.ac.uk/id/eprint/1445881/1/U593205Redacted.PDF

How does anyone decide this man is disturbed/suicidal. Is nobody allowed to stand on a platform looking a bit pissed off without people "assuming" things about them?
He might be fed up that his train is delayed or maybe he's worried about an elderly parent. That doesn't make him suicidal!!

I think it’d be more realistic to say, “Are you ok?” than ask about coffee. And why is a female passenger portrayed as “saving” him rather than the high-viz male hovering uselessly in the background whose very job is to keep passengers safe?

exactly this!

I think the ad might have worked better with a mix sex group ( say3 people) weighing up whether to approach lone male. So maybe two women, one man and then maybe the male going up perhaps with one woman’s encouragement. A male with women might look less threatening to lone man and wouldn’t have impacted the women’s safety and put the emphasis on women.

I would not be going anywhere near that man, whether or not there was a train track nearby. He exudes the sullen rage of a man who has just been kicked out by his girlfriend.

This.

FGS stop trying to make something out of nothing.

I don't think it's about Samaritans needing to run campaigns on other issues @BadSkiingMum it's about them doing a risk assessment on the campaign they're running.

I can see why my suggestion that they integrate this with the existing 'see it, say it, sorted' message wouldn't appeal to them, as they want to spend their own money putting their own badge on their own campaign.

That may be a wasteful choice but that's a different issue from choosing to advocate risky behaviour.

Very badly thought out ad. It's a shame because the message itself is a good one. Women regularly face sexual harassment or general harassment by men on public transport. I have myself. I wouldn't go up to a strange man on my own. Let's be honest, there's not often staff at train stations these days.

encouraging lone women to approach disturbed men on deserted train station platforms and ask them out for a coffee

I must have missed the bit where she did that...

Exactly! If I saw someone stood on a platform sad/crying I'd think they probably just said goodbye to some they wouldn't get to see for a while - not that they were about to throw themselves under a train. The whole advert is very strange and I completely agree with it not being the job of the woman to try to 'save' the completely unknown random man who might not want or need any kind of help or assistance at all. I also agree with the hair done and make up difference between the 'good' and 'bad' version.

It’s not an advert directed AT women.

its not telling us to do anything.

its similar to ads we have in London that give advice to people when they see women being harassed.

The Samaritans don't GAF about the welfare of women. If they did, they wouldn't force their female volunteers to act as wank fodder for perverts.

This is the first empirical study to examine the role of passing strangers in preventing suicides in public places. It shows that no specialist skills are needed. Interveners were ordinary people, distinguished only by a high level of social awareness, combined with a readiness for social action. The findings also suggest that people do not need a script and should not be afraid of saying ‘the wrong thing.’ What interveners said was much less important than how they made the suicidal person feel, namely safe, connected and validated (‘I matter’). Interveners did this simply by being themselves, responding with authenticity, calmness and compassion. Members of the public need to be encouraged to recognise and reach out to those who may be at risk of suicide in public locations, but should be prepared for a prolonged and intense encounter that may leave them with troubling emotions.

Owens C, Derges J, Abraham C Intervening to prevent a suicide in a public place: a qualitative study of effective interventions by lay peopleBMJ Open 2019;9:e032319. doi: 10.1136/bmjopen-2019-032319

https://bmjopen.bmj.com/content/bmjopen/9/11/e032319.full.pdf

I’ve just stopped volunteering as a listener with Samaritans. It’s an organisation with some fundamental problems in my view.

I think the message itself is good, that having a chat can make a big difference to someone's day.......it's something I try to do myself.

But rightly or wrongly I wouldn't approach a man who looked disturbed alone.....or a woman for that matter. I'd ring for help or notify someone else. But I wouldn't put myself at potential risk.