Sexist and dangerous Samaritans ad

[Meadowbird]

https://twitter.com/samaritans/status/1760599123923722266

A really bizarre ad - encouraging lone women to approach disturbed men on deserted train station platforms and ask them out for a coffee. What could possibly go wrong? They also will become sexier if they do apparently.

I dislike this ad for all the reasons given by many, especially @NoLightNoLight

That said, I did approach a man sitting crying on the floor of a very crowded platform last year. It took me three hours to get home that day. I simply offered him a tissue and he said he'd come off a long shift and the complete mess of the Tube that day had been the last straw.

I think there's a huge difference between approaching someone through instinct, and feeling that you "should". Maybe on a different day, I wouldn't have felt able to.

And there were three staff members nearby to manage the crowds.

But in all my horrible years of commuting, I've seen tears, I've been the one in tears. People often offer help.

But asking someone who looks sad ...maybe nothing's wrong.

Also encouraging women to ask men....HELL NO.

i haven't read the whole thread, so don't know of Samaritans have replied to all the controversy.

this type of thing makes me want to keep out of society....without being pushed by all the strangeness out there, I am a friendly person but this actually outs me off.

I also think it will encourage men to approach women for no reason and jeez, we have enough problems without that.

@ArabellaScott 🙄

Hey, how's he to know that she's not looking for lurve and that intervention by him would be considered stopping romance?

I would definitely go over to a man if i thought may he suicidal (i actually have ) im failing to see why this is sexist or dangerous in anyway. Unless you see your life through a window of fear then surely everything you do or say could get you into trouble

But they don't do they? Thats why there are more male suicides than female

i haven't read the whole thread, so don't know of Samaritans have replied to all the controversy.

They have just added a tweet to their main tweet announcing the ad saying "obviously, don't put yourself in danger" (paraphrasing)

I believe women make more suicide attempts. Men's attempts are more deadly because of the methods used.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3539603/

'women as a group more frequently attempted suicide rather than actually committing it, whereas men were more likely to complete suicides and choose more violent suicide methods; thus, women are the “attempters” and “survivors” of suicide attempts.'

And what are the men doing about it, that's what I want to know.

TBF the full ad shows him and the woman making eye contact and him nodding in an 'I've got you' way.
I still tend to think we should be encouraged to point out people we're concerned about to staff, rather than approach them, though.

I'd go and talk to a man who looked like he needed help if it was somewhere public like that.

Men aren't the enemy, I don't live my life in fear. And yes - I have reason to be fearful. I have been assaulted in the past. I'd still go and talk to a man if I thought he was going to end his life. I'm not letting the man that hurt me, take away my humanity and compassion too.

But I probably would have to talk myself into it. That's all the woman in the advert is doing, isn't she?

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Posters can contact the Samaritans with feedback.
They have said they welcome feedback and consider it for future campaigns.

Your username is Samaritansadvert? We're co-ordinating an organised attack against the Samaritans now? Samaritans are the enemy?

Christ.

I haven't read the whole long thread, but there's a floating belief out there, not uncommon, that kindness or smiles or small talk from a woman to a man must mean that she is sexually interested in him.

I learned this the hard way as a young teenager, trying to be kind toward a teen boy who was upset about something.

So this is something many women learn to keep in mind in cases like this one, not to mention the more frightening fear of the person perhaps extending the destructive feelings they have toward others rather than himself, and not wishing to be that 'other'.

I probably would have alerted the worker standing there about the situation and asked for his help.

Who is/are the we?

This organised attack by the 'we'—is it insurrection, banging pots and pans, yarn wrapping of postboxes, writing a stiff note that ends with Regards rather than Kind regards?

Is there a plan?

I'm agog. Shall it be 2018 all over again?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/3357096-Razor-blades-and-stickers-again?

The open water rescue analogy hits the nail on the head.

No one is saying that drowning ( suicidal ) people shouldn't be helped.

Taking a risk to save them might even help some - some people have been saved from drowning by a bystander jumping in and helping.

However, that is a risky strategy and there are safer ways to help, without turning yourself into another potential casualty.

What a shame the Samaritans haven't employed the same thought process with this issue.

The choice isn't just between 'do nothing or take a massive risk to yourself help' - that's a false dichotomy.

What's with the black and white thinking?

An organisation that does some good stuff has made a sexist ad. We're not allowed to complain about that?

To complain about the ad is not to suggest suicidal people shouldn't have help.

I can't get my head around the lack of nuance in some people's thinking (nor the rash of people coming on the feminist board to scold us for considering and standing up for women. That's why we're here. If you don't like it, other boards are available....).

^^ That was in reply to@CauliflowerBalti

Yes to the all or nothing thinking! I'd been trying to put my finger on it and it's that.

Either you are totally on board with this advert or you want suicidal people to die. No other options.

I mean, come on.

1. I don't think that the UK has a positive duty to interfere to help others ever since the hue and cry was abolished. I certainly don't see how it would be enforceable in a legal system that presumes innocence. IANAL though so check this.
2. There's a difference between stopping a definite suicide attempt, e.g. someone trying to climb a bridge parapet, and approaching a stranger who looks a bit miffed. People cannot be expected to strike up a conversation with everyone who's wearing a frown, especially not women.

Plenty of women have excellent reasons to view men, not life, through a window of fear.

I was sexually assaulted for the first time aged eight. Note: I say "the first time".

Thanks. Thats good to know.

As the saying goes, you do you.

Not a person alive is preventing you from talking to any man, suicidal or not.

What we are discussing is the advert attempting to tell women to override any misgivings. If they were telling men to talk to men, fine, dandy, fabulous, but they aren't.
Why do you think it's ever been the role of women to do all the emotional labour? Why should it still be our role?
When will the men be told to step up?

Why would you have to talk yourself into this?
Is it because there is some danger? An angry looking man, a great big drop onto train tracks really close?
Would you use the inane coffee line?