Communication on new building - room available for 'chest feeding'

[Sizzlysausage]

I got an email today about our new building (I work at a university). This explained space had been put aside in the new building for 'breast and chest feeding.' I find this so ridiculous I just need somewhere to vent (don't dare do so to any of my colleagues)!

Yeah someone made it up and now a bunch of people use it, therefore it's a word that's in use. Nobody says unicorn feeding. Do you understand the difference?

Yes. I do. And to you, the only difference is frequency of use. You would have no issue with unicorn feeding being put on an official sign if enough people used it. Like I said, bonkers.

Man spends hours on a feminist site telling women they're wrong about something only women experience - again 🙄

As Datun pointed out - like moths to a flame

@Dadjoke2, no, nothing to gloat about when your husband has secondary BREAST cancer and is actively dying from it. He’s an intelligent man and understands that men can have breast tissue too.

What irks me is the people who don’t want to be/identify as women and get offended or traumatised by female body part names, yet don’t hate it enough to want to do a completely womanly thing like grow and/or feed a baby.

Calling it the Pump Room may cause confusion.

@Dadjoke2 It's pervasive - counsellors are now so afraid of the BACPs ethics guidelines they can't "affirm" my "assigned identity" (ie admit I was a woman before "chest cancer" and still am afterwards) they can only talk about what gender identity I should choose now I don't have breasts. Leaves women like me coming round from a mastectomy wondering when the world changed and decided we are no longer allowed to be women. I went through a whole mental health assessment triage questionnaire with a counsellor a few weeks ago - I explained I am dealing with society's insistence that I perform femininity (e.g. have a breast reconstruction) before I am allowed to be viewed as a woman again as an intrusive/compulsive thought and that it is society that is insane, not me. At the end of the call she said they had some gaps in their form/data on me - could i just confirm my gender identity. When I said I didn't have one she said I needed to say somethnig for the form. I just burst into tears. no one will tell me how to find the person who 'assigned'me female at birth so I can get them to reassign me so the cancer will go away/not come back. The narrative the mental health professionals are forced to parrot just to keep their jobs is destroying me to have to hear it over and over again. Meg John Barker has a lot to answer for. The profession is so confused.

Christ, worriedrn, I'm so sorry. That is Absolutely appalling.

@worriedrn I am so sorry you are being gaslit (gaslighted?) by the exact people who are meant to be supporting you through such appalling trauma. I dont have any helpful suggestions, but just wanted to offer you my sympathy and support. I'm also really angry on your behalf...

well that's a nasty thing to say

Calling a woman whose DH has breast cancer 'gloats ' is an utterly vile thing to say. Completely dismissive of the awful impact on women like @worriedrn of genderism - and apparently incapable of understanding the importance of language in all of this.

In a nutshell.

chest feeding is one of the most ridiculous terms I have ever heard. You can't feed a baby with your chest. And some people formula feed. This should be called a baby feeding room, end of. Although why a university needs one is a bit of a mystery if they have a cafe as all the ones I've been in do. If it's for staff and students that need to express during the day then, again, you express milk through breasts, not chests and this would still be covered by the 'infant feeding room'. And mansplaining men should stfu about something they know nothing about.

That's unforgivable @worriedrn. Yet another example of how adherents to this bloody ideology prioritise implementing every aspect of it instead of centring the needs of people - especially women.

I'm so sorry.

@Dadjoke2

Why do you want to police language?

Eh? Can you not see that what you are supporting is exactly that - policing language?

@Dadjoke2

And the answer is always yes of course, people can use whatever words they want.

Unless TRAs disagree with those words.

Then they are transphobic and should be policed.

@Dadjoke2

I can't believe you accused a woman sharing that her husband has breast cancer of being 'gloaty'.

What an unthinkably cruel reaction from you.

Not a 'sorry to hear that', 'that must be awful', 'I hope he recovers' etc.

Literally zero empathy for her in your response. At all. Just an adversarial reply and an accusation.

Fucking hell. You owe that poster an apology.

How about Babymouthnipplewank Room? Sure, nobody uses it right now. But maybe me and a group of friends want to celebrate the concept of getting physical pleasure from breastfeeding, and adding that name would make us more comfortable using the room. If enough of us start using that term for ourselves, and your stance is that "the answer is always yes of course, people can use whatever words they want", then would it matter that a few prudes clutch their pearls at it?

And yes, I'm being hyperbolic. It's unlikely that a large number of actual women would want to publicly sexualise feeding their babies. But you did say whatever words.

Quite.

And there are loads of men who would love sexist words to be routinely used.

Language does change of course, but I'm not sure there's evidence that top down decrees trying to force linguistic shifts onto the general populace work - at least not in the way intended.

What are the processes for neologisms becoming accepted? Is it a matter of consensus? Which groups use these words, words depend on shared meaning, and that depends on comprehension. So language is not just a matter of one person making up a word and gabbling it repeatedly - other people need to agree on its use - tacitly or explicitly. Language is about agreement, basically, it forms a kind of contract.

In this instance, many women find the term 'chestfeeding' offensive, as they are telling you here. So why should they bend to the will of a tiny, tiny minority who wish to use this neologism? On what basis?

In this instance, many women find the term 'chestfeeding' offensive, as they are telling you here. So why should they bend to the will of a tiny, tiny minority who wish to use this neologism? On what basis?

'Be kind'

(or else)

Yep.

That must have been another layer of stress that you certainly didn’t need.

So sorry for the women and men affected by breast cancer. Ridiculous how your comfort and your feelings aren't recognised, in favour of a tiny amount of confused or abused girls who will likely grow out of or move away from pretending to be men. Or will have voluntary doubt mastectomies so wouldn't be able to breast feed or express anyway.

“You hold a baby to your chest when you feed them”

No you don’t. What absolute nonsense.

And you don’t hold a breast pump to your chest when you’re expressing breastmilk either. You hold the breast pump over your nipple and areola.

If your breastfeeding or expressing technique is to hold the baby or the pump to your chest, instead of the nipple and areola area of your breast, then your baby will starve.

Also night feeds can be done lying down with your baby lying beside you - but it’s your breast you’ll need to pop out of your nightie to stop the hunger-crying by feeding them, not your chest.

Your arguments are no more informed or convincing than DadJoke the first’s were.

@worriedrn I'm so sorry, this sounds truly awful. There's a bit of me genuinely doesn't understand how people can be so cruel. I hope you find someone kind and understanding to help you.