Everyone scarper, the rozzers are coming

[ArabellaScott]

Dawn Butler's called the polis on us! Quick everyone, namechange and look busy.

https://twitter.com/DawnButlerBrent/status/1737853431413657806

Damn, Christmas ham talk is making me sad. I usually buy one early in the New Year, when they're cheap. Year before last, I got a 5.5 kg one for under £20, boiled it with garlic, an onion and celery (discarded) and divided into five chunks, four for the freezer.

We're going alongside this morning and I was hoping to slope off to a pub and get a bottle of conditioner, I hope the Gestapo aren't waiting for me.

I mean, with my name, I'm never getting off, am I?

But I thought they sacked John Barrowman?!

@SinnerBoy As long as you identify as male you are pretty safe, it's normally women they go for. Nothing to do with institutionalised misogyny of course, or the more than 1100 officers being investigated for domestic violence or sexual abuse.

For those wondering about the catering inside: https://www.nottinghampost.com/news/nottingham-news/what-nottinghamshires-prisoners-eating-christmas-8920507?int_source=amp_continue_reading&int_medium=amp&int_campaign=continue_reading_button#amp-readmore-target

Ahhh, how I miss the Mumsnet Bat. Much better than a TWC.

Great taste there! Also a fan of pineapple on pizza and cauliflower cheese on Christmas dinner.

I am disappointed.

Partied hard last evening (last night of freedom n all) however no knock at the door- so thanks a lot plod, now have to do Christmas Eve with a hangover.

Thanks. Should we put in our orders now?

I've really overdone the cheese and port and could do with a few weeks of gruel and water tbh.

I’m planning to have a nut roast with all the trimmings. Do you think they’d put it in the oven for me if I brought it along? On a shelf above the turkey, obviously.

Merry Christmas you wise and wonderful fighters for women's rights.

@Ohyoudodoyou .... please tell me it isn't actually Christmas Day- I mean I partied hard but not that hard hopefully

No, it's just that I won't be touching the internet tomorrow as I'll be knee deep in food and alcohol and wrapping paper.

Morning all. Looks like I'm going to have to crack on with the prep.
I was pondering over my imminent arrest.

I don't think I'll manage a No Comment interview down at the station.
I've a lot that I'd like to say, when I think on it.😡

So relieved to see we're again just looking at a spell in our local HMP after yesterday's devastating suggestion that capital punishment awaits us!🙏

I am NOT going to Ranby - fish with mushroom sauce? 🤢

Well acksherly we're all in the pay of the religious right, according to some not very bright TRAs.

The religious right haven't sent me so much as a Christmas card, let alone any dosh though. I'm obviously terfing wrong.

Many of us are still awaiting the lesbian wives we were promised several years back. And T shirts. And money.

I tell you, these Xtian neonazis just don't stick to their promises.

If the religious right wanted to pay off my
mortgage I’d be delighted.

I'd like to know where all my back pay has go to.

All this talk about animal sex - the 'euggghh! Puh-leeese!TMI!' was passed a long long way upthread😱 - reminds me of the Tom Lehrer line about somebody going to college and ' majoring in animal husbandry...until they caught him at it'.😀

Are we? Where’s my paycheque? I calculate I am due 6 years backpay plus expenses. Can a kind TRA post a link so I can put my claim in?

Was it in Porridge where the Christmas pudding was mixed with shovels on a concrete floor or was that something told to me by a friend in the Prison Service. Either way I think I'll skip the Christmas pudding, a lot of Porridge was apparently based on real stories.

By now it may have dawned on someone that creating a load of political prisoners is not a good idea. The Labour Party Conference might even have to call for our release.

I think I’ve name changed but these things are difficult for my technologically challenged ladybrain.

You look nice, Dildo. Festive.

Thank you 🎄