Everyone scarper, the rozzers are coming

[ArabellaScott]

Dawn Butler's called the polis on us! Quick everyone, namechange and look busy.

https://twitter.com/DawnButlerBrent/status/1737853431413657806

Traditionally they go on the boil the last weekend in October, so @SirChenjins is being all modern.

Maybe she’s got an Instant Pot Air Fryer Ninja thingy she’s doing the sprouts in, so they don’t take 8 weeks.

THATS MA CONSTITNTUTNTNENENCY

Well that's the advantage of just being a woman, we don't have to put on try-hard woman-face to try and convince people of a lie. We just are, from posh frock to tracky bottoms and a hoody. Doesn't matter: 100% authentic woman.

Well biggest laugh i had apart from the other also funny thread haven’t said owt here as worried about implications. Was wondering about what Tunnocks meant and then bugger me found some in my cupboard. The marshmallow ones(Hubby does the shopping).

Should i just eat them all right away?

Sorry hen 😘

Sadly not, no air fryer thingy. I knew I was late getting them onto a rolling boil but I like the danger of it all.

Our doorbell went three times today and each time I reached for the little suitcase.

First was the postie with something for DD
Second was a neighbour in search of a dog sitter for Christmas Day
Third was a neighbour

I'm just hoping the rozzers don't turn up overnight. I've hit the gin after the pressures of the day and might be a bit the worse for wear.

Yes! I trust by now you've eaten them all!!!!

Jesus christ I went to bed at 10pm-ish and we were on like page 13, I went to work (no MN), came home, and have been catching up since 4pm because I have to keep stopping because I'm laughing so much, at which point DH asks why I'm laughing, so I have to explain the next hilarious post to him, and then we go off topic about ducks or giraffes (or that 15 minutes when I had to explain the Penis Beaker to him) or the irony that someone mentioned Godwin then not even a full page later the TRAs were calling us nazis and it wasn't because they suddenly got a sense of irony or humour and were overcome with the urge to send themselves up.

He says if I go inside, he'll post me a job lot of washerwoman disguises (probably from ebay circa 2005 when it still sold everything, so we'll need to dust off the time machine) so we can all bust out immediately.

No one ever suspects the washerwomen.

Yawn. I’m off to bed soon. Had a bottle of fizz and box of chocolate truffles for dinner and have an early start to get to the hospital in the morning.

night all. See you in the clink.

And in terms of what Dawn hoped to do (shut down the conversation), I feel this has spectacularly backfired on she/her, because she/her has actually posted a big neon sign telling everyone who can't talk about any of their niggling reality-based doubts IRL that we are here, we're not queer, and we are rolling out the (roomba-cleaned) red carpet and will welcome sincere newcomers with humour, sarcasm, warmth and humanity. And also some decent Protestant traybakes, a small chicken and a massive salad.

Good thanks @ickky . Speech gets mixed up and I miss work but it's fine.

I made blue lagoons if anyone wants one, I watched Motherland Last Christmas and wasn't prepared for that storyline at all and need a drink to recover.

I'm partial to a blue lagoon!

@CandyLeBonBon I haven't had one in years and found a bottle of blue curaçao under the stairs a few days ago. I might add a shot of gin, a bit of froth and top it with a teacake and create a new cocktail called the Corkscrewing Giraffe.

Butler is MP for Brent, which along with Newham does have the highest % of trans constituents in England. Or is it highest % people people who didn't understand the question in the census. Who knows. Perhaps it's just crammed full of gay giraffes instead.

Reckon we're safe from being nicked tonight ladies - Fri night before Christmas and the bizzies will have their hands full as it is.

"Mad Friday"

Where is Felix? Shouldn't he have popped up like the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come by now?

Actually, that's me. I remembered all the mad conventional (but previously unknown to me) sandwich combinations named in the Protestant traybake thread (e.g., apple and mars bar (brown bread for the healthy version), chicken and satsuma pieces from a tin) and sent in a last minute catering delivery to all the Met stations.

Nobody will be able to move until mid-week. You're welcome.

I suppose we are lucky the Dawn raids are in mid winter so when we're woken at the crack of Dawn it's already a decent hour! Would have been worse if mid summer.

And there must be a pun in there a out Dawn's cracked!

No one ever suspects the washerwomen.

It worked for Mr Toad!

If I am arrested before I I have consumed sprouts, I will not be able to deploy the power of flatulence in self defence like a skunk against any agreesi e rozzers. Wonder what percentage of skunks are gay?

We must not, under a circumstances, ever discuss the crack of dawn.

I hope it's clear that the ridiculous pun will absolutely not be tolerated.

I repeat: anyone using any terms relating to 'the crack of dawn' will be dealt with by the rozzers in the most robust way possible, so I hope you're all absolutely clear on that.

@IdidntseeanythingandIamnotBoiledbeetle

I was waiting on gang leaders advice as I am an older dinosoar newby

put them in hubbys sock and pants draw in the meantime. Just in case

rewatched Shawshank redemption quite good on surviving clink, long term escape plans,

fending of funny looking lesbians, swimming in shit, so am well equipped to advise him.

i know I shouldn’t throw him under the bus but I have grandchild responsibilities plus he cannot cook