"Transphobic bullying is rife": 15 y/o trans boy's view of coming out at school

[ButterflyHatched]

A rare and refreshing example of the mainstream media actually publishing a young trans person's own words on the subject of their own existence and how the government's draft guidance is likely to affect the people it directly pertains to.

‘Transphobic bullying is rife’: a 15-year-old trans boy’s view of coming out at school | Transgender | The Guardian

Tbh, I can think of several scenarios where a child who has shouted ‘you are a bot’ and a child identifying as a girl that are not bullying. Some of them are likely a response to problematic behaviour from
the child who wants everyone to say they’re a girl.

I would agree that it was a proportionate response if, for example, they were expected to shower and change together, but in most situations the fact that the child is a boy can probably be left unsaid.

maybe it can’t be left unsaid though. Stuff in the peer group where the girls are constantly being told they have to accept Alice as a girl, and all that comes with that. I can imagine frustrated ‘you are a boy’ exclamations resulting from the general gaslighting and thought policing required for force everyone to comply.

That’s not bullying. If anything, the gaslighting and thought policing is the bullying behaviour there. Punishing a child for reacting and labelling them a bully is just adding insult to injury.

the guardian we’re always going to come up with shite like this though. Tbh I assume said child is related to someone at The Guardian - I assume the majority 15 year olds don’t have a hotline to Guardian journalists

I would put money on it. The giveaway is the byline "as told to Guardian staff" rather than "as told to [name of journalist]." If the journalist is the child's aunty or other relative, then including their name would give away the child's identity.

It seems to me that this is a characteristic piece of irresponsible reporting by the Guardian. Personal stories have a place, of course, in journalism, but there has to be context too.

Arguably it would be much kinder if everyone stuck with the facts - the child is a boy. Kinder for everyone involved, including the child who doesn’t want to be viewed as a boy.

There is also the problem of the generalisation of bullying to cover any ‘unkind’ behaviour, rather than the sort of ongoing and almost systematic campaign of horrible behaviour that it used to mean. Even more so when the ‘unkind’ behaviour is broadened out to include using the wrong pronoun or not wanting to have a boy in the girls toilets.

Well, again, it depends. What does "have to accept Alice as a girl" mean?

If they are being told they have to accept Alice in their changing rooms and showers and sports teams then yes, absolutely, they should be able to say, "But Alice is a BOY."

If they're being told they need to accept Alice in their friendship group which happens to be all girls, I think it's legitimate to say, "That's not how friendship groups work, we aren't being forced to include other girls in the group, so why are you trying to force us to include Alice?"

Or even just, "We don't want to."

Unless it is something relating to single sex spaces or sports I'm struggling to think of a situation in which the fact that Alice is a boy would be relevant.

I guess, at a pinch, if a girl has a birthday party and invites all the girls in the class to do a girly thing but doesn't invite Alice, that's a situation where I feel like leaving just one actual girl out would be bullying, but leaving Alice out because they want girl time with other girls and Alice is a boy is probably understandable. But do schools really get involved in things like this?

I thought it would be useful for people to see the words of a trans boy himself about what it is like and how this guidance is likely to affect people like him.

Yes, this is exactly one of the scenarios that Kemi had in mind when formulating the guidance. The guidance explicitly says that gender stereotypes should not be used as a basis for social transition.

And they have in this case. Which is why the guidance is sorely needed.

This child thought that not wanting to wear a dress and liking football were reserved for boys. Not grasping that these are girls' preferences too is a terrible failure in education about sexism. Which is, of course, the cornerstone of transgenderism. And exactly what the government is addressing.

Indeed, the child in question actually describes it as experimenting with wardrobe and names! They think that's what being trans is. And of course, that's exactly what the government is confirming that it isn't.

i'm pretty certain I remember you saying, butterfly, that girls shouldn't play football, etc. your damaging, regressive attitude is exactly what the government is targeting.

What is documented in this post is the overwhelming arrogance and self interest that fuels so much transactivism. There's a torrent of adults with a personal interest in transitioning, all attempting to influence policy & even worse, get alongside children in order to influence them to believing that their developing bodies are flawed and that "transitioning" will fix them.

This is why there is so much spitting fury about the new guidelines and anger aimed at those in favour of them.

We're told that children must transition before they are old enough to understand the consequences because middle aged men know that they don't "pass" as women, if they're not medicated from an early age. Children's mental health, psychological development, wellbeing, future relationships and fertility all harmed to achieve this end. Mentally unwell teenage girls in their tens of thousands demanding drugs & surgery in the catastrophic belief that this will bring them peace.

There's been a steady succession of posters like butterfly (many claiming to work with young people) and all intent on presenting feminists and women as bigots. Few understand how their words so often demonstrate a casual disregard for the importance of allowing all children to develop and come to terms with the mind / body alignment that is essential for a mental & physically healthy adulthood.

Promoting medical experimentation on children is never going to win hearts and minds on here.

Bullying is rife in a lot of schools, sadly. Anything that makes you different makes you a target. Trans, gay, red hair, autistic, ADHD, glasses, lisp, spots, not liking football, being clever or studious or quiet.

If a male teenager, like many male teenagers, is acting like a disgusting pervert toward girls, and that male teenager happens to identify as a girl, then I think shouting "You are a boy!" might be justified.

Jackie Green was on puberty blockers from the age of 12 and had surgery at 16 and I can still tell, even in photos.

See also Jazz Jennings and the new Rose in Doctor Who.

Bullying is rife in a lot of schools, sadly. Anything that makes you different makes you a target. Trans, gay, red hair, autistic, ADHD, glasses, lisp, spots, not liking football, being clever or studious or quiet.

And one of the incentives for adopting a different gender identity could be the on the surface lovely rainbowy glitter kids that will allow you into their clique. I can imagine it could look like quite an attractive thing to try out if feeling isolated and lonely, whatever the cause of that. It makes vulnerable kids more vulnerable to going down completely the wrong path for them.

Yet if you assaulted a person for each of those reasons, in four you would get a sentence uplift as a hate crime, and attacking them due to hatred of the other eight characteristics would not be considered as serious so you would serve a lesser sentence even if the victim was just as seriously hurt.

Toilet door locks should work. Typical of the tories to flag this dog whistle stuff whilst starving schools of the funds needed to tackle building maintenance issues. Bullying should be tackled properly.

"The Tories" aren't flagging that disabled toilet locks don't work. This individual child is. Of course toilets should be secure.

The disabled toilet door didn’t lock on at least one occasion when the child started at the school. We have no idea if it stayed not working, was fixed the same day, or took weeks to fix or was never fixed. Or if use of another toilet was proffered. Because no journalist has bothered to check.

Bullying is obviously wrong and it's unacceptable that the school handled this so badly.
But you cannot force people to accept you into their friendship group. Transitioning people of any age need to accept that this is the case and whatever they do there is no guarantee that it's going to open doors for them to social groups of the other sex.
The young person featured was under the impression that transitioning would enable her to be accepted into the boys social group and it didn't.

But you cannot force people to accept you into their friendship group.

trying to do, including through coercion or threats of disciplinary action, is bullying.

Why should children be consulted? They aren't consulted on other pastoral or curriculum policies.

If you did want to consult children, it would of course involve consulting children in general and whether they are comfortable having single sex spaces destroyed or being forced to use "preferred" pronouns.

As for the medical side of it, or the parental consent aspect, that's not really something that children are in a position to have an informed opinion about.

I don’t think we should ask them, "should you be able to do stuff without your parents being informed?".

And all it illustrates, at most, is that the school didn't have regard for the wellbeing and privacy of disabled students or teachers who might use it. Funny how there isn't an article in the Guardian about the disadvantages experienced by disabled students. (Though it might of course just be that it hadn't been broken long and was fixed shortly afterwards).

What it doesn't illustrate is transphobia on the part of the school. What gets me is the entitlement of the non-disabled student who thinks that special toilet provision has to be made on their behalf. Why? Just use the girls' toilets. Or the boys'. You don't have special dispensation to use a resource designed for disabled people.

These activists don't care about revealing themselves.

They want children to safeguard themselves.

One of the positives to all of this screaming and shouting from transactivists is that now people can see all the agendas.

Wanting children to safeguard themselves, wanting them isolated from their parents. it's all out there in the open.

Thank god the government has woken up. For most of us, this has been evident for years and years.

And, as we well know, the quickest way you find out is to listen to what transactivists say.

And They're saying it all.

What is this if not a consultation?

https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/

Indeed.

1. If you are responding as an individual, are you responding as (please select all that apply):(Required)

A parent or carer A teacher A student A school or college leader A school or college governor A designated safeguarding lead A student support or pastoral care team member A medical professional N/A Other, please specify

i'm not sure what the age range is, and whether a seven-year-old would be able to do it, though.

However, everyone is being consulted.

The other thing this will do is show up lack of safeguarding knowledge in people's answers to the consultation.

I'd love to be a fly in the wall when the answers are first discussed.

i'm not sure what the age range is, and whether a seven-year-old would be able to do it, though.

It does ask for age. 2 options: under 18 and over 18. I can't see a minimum age anywhere.