Sandi Toksvig "doesn't get it", poor love....

[HootyMcBooby]

Sandi Toksvig slams anti-trans bigots ‘claiming to be radical feminists’ (msn.com)

"I could weep. I don’t get it. It’s beyond me"

Yeah Sandi, I don't get it either.
How is it possible that men can say they are women and have unfettered access to females in their safe spaces?
How is it possible that we are medicating children against puberty?
How it is possible that a woman can be raped on a female hospital ward by a man claiming to be a woman and then gaslighted to be told a man was not on the ward?
How is it possible that men are claiming titles, sponsorships and medals in women's sports?
How is it possible women and females are being literally erased from so many spheres of life, including health/medicine and marketing campaigns? How come the same isn't happening to males?

As a lesbian do you like "lady penis"?
Or do you actually know that men remain men whatever surgeries they may have had, and are just on the "be kind" train?

Have you even THOUGHT about the issues this ideology ushers in?

Actually you don't need to answer that.
It's obvious.

THIS

Seconded

I have Sandi Toksvig's book on manners, Peas and Queues. It's mostly a good, amusing read, and probably valuable for many people moving in to their first shared house. I would have liked my old flatmates to have read it, I think. More on that later.

But its guiding principle is a focus on other people's comfort, and there are some pitfalls here. Firstly, what happens to you if you feel a moral duty to prioritise other people, and they are happy to accept your service without ever reciprocating? It would not, for example, have helped me to read this book before my first flatshare, because I was already far too inclined to put other people first. (Fortunately, joining MN when I was 21 got me out of this.)

There are a tremendous number of generous, compassionate women who have ended up permanently surrounded by people who take, take, take, but never ever give back.

Secondly, I think Toksvig sometimes has difficulty identifying who the most vulnerable person is, in any situation, if it would conflict with her advising a woman to put herself last.

I offer you this passage from her manners guide, on pages 217-218.

Sandi Toksvig on Breastfeeding

This is an area that causes no end of trouble. Breastfeeding is good for a baby. I think we can all agree on that. What causes friction is where and how the breastfeeding takes place. The Equality Act 2010 states that you can't discriminate against a woman because she is breastfeeding. No one can stop you breastfeeding in public so a restaurant or café, for example, cannot refuse to serve you. However, what are the words we're looking for? Consideration and comfort.

The baby needs to be comfortable but it's not a bad idea if everyone else is, too. The fact is that the baby needs to get to your bare breast and not everyone may want to share the view.

In public

Be discreet. Of course your child's welfare is more important than other people's sensibilities, but it is perfectly possible to breastfeed a child without making it into a public display. The careful use of a shawl or muslin to cover yourself while the baby is latched on can mean a successful feed while not exposing yourself to strangers. If someone has a problem with you after that, keep calm and don't engage with their irritation. If you are being discreet no one should mind.

When someone else is breastfeeding in public

Don't stare.

Don't draw attention to it even if you don't like it.

Don't comment. If you must say something simply ask if it's a boy or a girl. Also ask yourself why you needed to say something.

Wonderful, woman-centred advice there from WEP founder, Sandi Toksvig.

Heavens, I'm surprised she didn't add a little admonishing coda to babies like my two, who had a a great knack of snatching off any artfully draped shawl with a real air of 'LOOOOOOK! MY MA'S BOOBS EVERYONE!'

Then you're quite ridiculously thick and unaware of other women in the world less privileged than you, Sandi.

I can assure you that Sandi Toksvig is very far from'thick'

She is a smug, nasty, arrogant, traitorous piece of work, who is not half as smart as she wants us to believe, I’ve never liked her.

I agree.

Which means she must simply think marginalised women, like rape victims, imprisoned women, survivors of CSA, religiously observant women, disabled women who need intimate care (i.e. they need someone to wash them) should put the comfort of men above their own mental and physical safety.

I think that's worse than thick. Some people aren't intelligent. That's not a flaw that they can be held responsible for, any more than it would be my nephew's fault if he's colour-blind. It is his responsibility if he kicked a football into next-door's greenhouse though.

Sandi is intelligent, so she's knowingly choosing to condone trampling over some of the most vulnerable women in the country.

This. Also, at Sandi's age, she's unlikely to be navigating dating apps infested with autogynephiles.

This issue is just not very relevant to her as an individual; therefore, it is not relevant at all.

"Be discreet. Of course your child's welfare is more important than other people's sensibilities, but it is perfectly possible to breastfeed a child without making it into a public display. The careful use of a shawl or muslin to cover yourself while the baby is latched on can mean a successful feed while not exposing yourself to strangers. If someone has a problem with you after that, keep calm and don't engage with their irritation. If you are being discreet no one should mind."

-Sandi Toksvig, who has never been pregnant nor breastfed.

That Sandi is a complete arse and a privileged sell out.

She seriously advised breastfeeding women to be discrete and not cause discomfort to others?!?! And STILL claim to be a feminist?

Don't comment. If you must say something simply ask if it's a boy or a girl. Also ask yourself why you needed to say something.

Oh, it’s ok for adults to assume a baby’s gender then?

The careful use of a shawl or muslin to cover yourself while the baby is latched on can mean a successful feed while not exposing yourself to strangers. If someone has a problem with you after that, keep calm and don't engage with their irritation.

Errm… did Aunt Lydia write this to the Handmaids in her charge?

Seriously though. Women! It’s your job to make sure nobody ever feels remotely uncomfortable when you’re feeding your child. And if you’re all carefully covered up with a shawl but someone still has a problem with that, do not object. Know your place!

So…. How does Sandi feel about someone like Jordan Gray whipping out the family jewels for a spot of piano playing in public, while singing a song about being superior to biological women? Would she care if anyone felt uncomfortable in that scenario? Or would she be clapping and cheering for Jordan?

Hmm. I really couldn’t guess.

I am surprised by that neighbourhood. That is certainly not a feminist approach and reeks of someone who has little personal experience of breast feeding. There was no way my child would breast feed under a shawl or anything. I know they are not unusual.

That statement about ‘making it a public display’ is victim blaming all the way. What a thoughtless piece of advice.

I've read a couple of her books. She totally gets lesbophobia and sexism. She knows how women are treated, globally, historically, predictably.

So it's absolutely gutting that she can't see it now. And I do think it's because of her privileged position. Plus she's in a secure relationship, so as others have pointed out, she won't be dating, stepping over demanding AGPs or being asked if she's really a man. By people who consider themselves progressive and compassionate!

She won't be realising that the word lesbian, the very concept, is being colonised by fetishistic men.

And she's surrounded by others in a similarly insulated position.

If she does realise all this and is still happy to publicly hand wring, then i'd have to conclude she is quite spectacularly hypocritical.

I've not breastfed but I've seen a fair number of women do it in - gasp - public. I find the notion that it's "tits out" offensive. Generally you see less boob than you would if it was just a woman in a low cut top because there's a baby latched on. It's natural, it's totally and utterly normal and anyone who's uncomfortable with it needs to have a serious word with themselves. There is no need to think about other people's "comfort" because it's you and your child who are important. Good lord to turn breastfeeding into a "manners" thing would be hilarious if it wasn't so offensive. Do piss off, Sandi, you ridiculous Aunt Lydia.

Be discreet?! BE DISCREET?!

This woman claims to be on the side of women? Fucking how, exactly, by giving us admonishments in not looking like brazen hussies as we wantonly FEED BABIES?!?!

I thought we got over nonsense like this in the 1980s, and from someone supposedly a feminist, you'd think, what, 60s? Go much further back of course and we'd hit the era before anyone ever even imagined it was necessary to shame women for feeding their baby.

Sandi's problem here is she's very satisfied in finding middle ground. This means she is missing the initial imbalance - otherwise called oppression. So the 'middle ground' between people shaming women for breastfeeding and people being entirely accepting and unconcerned about women breastfeeding is to shame them a little bit.

We're mammals, Sandi. Women feeding babies is utterly unremarkable and morally neutral. So many women struggle to even establish, and you're here helpfully suggesting how they can avoid upsetting people with their breasts?

I mean, okay, but what the fuck is she doing in a political party that claims to be about supporting women?

And another thing - if someone has a problem 'keep calm and don't engage'.

Fuck that. Shout at them and throw things, cause a scene.

Joking. In fact women could inform them that breastfeeding is legally protected. They could stick up for themselves. But Sandi would prefer us to remain demurely tight lipped. Is that to atone for having incensed then with our wanton breast exposure?

The vibe I'm getting is Billie Jean King's attitude. BJK is practically passionate about male inclusion in women's sports which goes back to the 70s with her championing of trans tennis player Renee Richards.

It's inexplicable to the rest of us, and yes I'm sure there's a big unconscious element of 'this won't actually affect me'.

I feel Sandi's mind was made up long ago like BJK and nothing will change that now.

Someone else you don't like, it's a long long list!

Getting longer by the day.

Someone else who is putting herself up as a supposed supporter of and champion for women who is failing us. Its not about 'liking' someone. This isn't the school playground. This is political representation for half the population.

Congratulations, I'm pleased for you.

Whilst my opinion is actually none of your business @ArthurbellaScott this was not actually a statement about Sandi!
School playground indeed!

Oh noes! I cannot imagine what Sandi would have said about mother’s group lunches with some one sitting breastfeeding blanket/shawless at any one time! Sometimes two! Sometimes three! Naughty Mummies! So much exhibitionism.